孫悟空降至花果山水簾洞，走路搖搖擺擺，全身帶著酒氣。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0Sul2X0bn
悟空：小的們！我回來啦！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjZlWta4BU
通背猿猴帶著一幫猴子歡呼圍上。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZ3H9xnNbO
通背猿猴：大王，你老人家可回來了！你這一去，100多年！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeie2tzwtrc
悟空：啊。你怎麽計算的？我只離開半年。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXQoCRMpjv
通背猿猴：你忘啦，天上一天，地下一年。100多年前，我對你說過。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIdXT3aOLo
悟空：你半年前這麽說。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNoyePkYUW
通背猿猴：我100多年前說的。你以後上天，記下天數，寫在紙上。在天數後加個「年」字，這個數字便是地上的年數。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9KPejo8Gr
悟空：有別的計算方法嗎？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzvY5wkRHR
通背猿猴：你用筆，也可以把年先寫上。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjVhfmZXAw
悟空：天數加年，2個我一塊寫。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxjx9CaRpB
通背猿猴：100多年沒見面，我們好想你！55555……（傷感地大哭）71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3YhAjr98W
悟空：想我想哭了？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYB9k2ZuKs
通背猿猴：嗯。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYe4AzcmFF
悟空：額。（吐了一口）71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8puyFjSyA5
通背猿猴：大王，你怎麽了？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVcmX2hdXR
悟空：我也想你們！額。（又吐了一口）71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mRQXDVDXs
通背猿猴：哪不舒服？你在吐呢。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHqH35HBO3
悟空：沒。是我想你們想的，吐了。（又吐幾口）71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIFn1fEupg
通背猿猴：你想我們挺多的！玉帝封你做齊天大聖沒？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aOkgPL3ub
悟空：封了。在天宮舉行的冊封儀式，使我終生難忘。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeOgHrzy2t
通背猿猴：大王，描述一下冊封儀式，怎樣？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyG9tbiAgSe
悟空：不了。我終生難忘的，我知道就行。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCTf6rhBPJ
通背猿猴：描述100多年前的事，回憶一下美好時光。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1zjHgysvf
悟空：我累了。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAFC0xheO1
撲騰一聲，孫悟空倒在地上。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGV8myF2MY
通背猿猴：是醉了。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1za23BtxV
天宮。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjtacykxXSv
靈霄殿上，玉帝的臥底土地，進見玉帝。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOhgIghhzL
土地：陛下，蟠桃園又大又圓的仙桃，都被孫悟空偷吃了！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrou7MiA2uB
玉帝：啊！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8r7MvFyB1w
一會兒，太上老君進見玉帝。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaj9Vv7yNc
太上老君：陛下，我嘔心瀝血煉的九轉金丹，都被孫悟空偷吃了！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEV2PaPuoS
玉帝：啊！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlReoL84oz
又一會兒，王母進見玉帝。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6s6UUzJ6P
王母：陛下，我準備的蟠桃宴，弄了很多酒菜，都被孫悟空偷吃了！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eKly1yMeS
玉帝：孫悟空啊孫悟空，你這個吃貨！你敢偷吃我吃的東西？！孫悟空在哪？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgZUt6kehZ
太上老君：天宮的監視鏡顯示，孫悟空已返回花果山。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVg9vPUuy8
玉帝：誰願下界捉拿吃貨孫悟空？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGcpiM35YZ
托塔天王：我！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUSxT8pv48
哪咤：我！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXxicscgYf
巨靈神：我！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfmiqBsShJ
玉帝：天王，又是你們3個。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzp3kCDcUh
托塔天王：這次可以加幾個。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSKfGMAEr7
玉帝：我給你天兵10萬。記住，這次要給孫悟空一個群毆。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ilsZdGimn
托塔天王：這麽多人群毆一個，要排隊掛號。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgZ9fhjUrx
玉帝：不能排隊，不能掛號。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qTh7jTQEF
托塔天王：一定做到。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1tz2DxAndh
李托塔、哪咤、巨靈神，帶天兵10萬，一路出師下界。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyf554i5HI
路上。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFo9iR9veO
哪咤：父王，我們10多萬人，怎麽做到群毆一個？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiapuT7AJb
托塔天王：簡單。10多萬人停在花果山上空，一起向下扔兵器。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKNP4OdXZd
巨靈神：太血腥了吧？花果山會血流成河。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFo17yL2dcR
托塔天王：下一場大雨沖洗幹凈了。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPFZT1mf3a
巨靈神：一場大雨能解決麽？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VCyLyjryf
托塔天王：我看行。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NS71bUaPs
巨靈神：我看不行。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzGMW9KSUV
托塔天王：不行再下第二場、第三場，直到沖洗幹凈收場！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZPZxHieHN
巨靈神：我看也行了。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCP2JnB40I0
這一日，花果山陽光明媚，萬裏無雲。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzB900HS5Xu
孫悟空正在和眾猴飲酒狂歡。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QVAWT15cb
半空中，托塔天王、哪咤、巨靈神出現。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHbZ2AlXcx
托塔天王：孫悟空！你偷吃仙桃、偷喝仙酒、偷吃仙丹。玉帝派我將你這個吃貨捉拿歸案！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiE6JW3tI5R
悟空：又來捉我？上次捉我失敗，這次，你有沒有做好心理準備？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMB2SBbUEj
托塔天王：有。這次準備群毆你。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEfiMSr6FP
悟空：群毆？你們3個？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjUSPZkHiu
托塔天王：我還有10萬天兵斷後。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2LOAZL2X2
悟空：總共10萬多3人？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZc62mLpMQi
托塔天王：人多也能群毆你！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bfrJTtKvG
悟空：失敗，失敗。我這花果山上上下下，也是10萬人多出3個。這次，只能1對1單挑。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuhmSC4Bgn
托塔天王：啊！是嗎？這可怎麽辦？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWb7oS1NSvd
巨靈神：天王，我們按原計劃開戰吧。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyK9rR3QMD
托塔天王：不能！敵我雙方的人數對等，不能群毆。開戰，違抗玉帝旨意。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBE4z5W8cm1
哪咤：父王，我向玉帝請求支援。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauErVZCwvx
托塔天王：快。我先做好群毆準備，圍住花果山。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxREuy6hCJY
花果山上空，集聚10萬天兵，遮住太陽，天黑了。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOSjCvuCWv
眾猴：大王，我們害怕。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09MVTm9kYu
悟空：天黑怕什麽？來人，掌燈。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjwUgcy6CP
頓時，花果山上萬家燈火。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ysCb7oOXm
哪咤返回天宮，在南天門遇見玉帝。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmtCFBUgp0
玉帝十分關心花果山戰況，正和群臣在南天門觀戰。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnI9lnlgcUj
哪咤：陛下！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIeYfisVYh
玉帝：3太子，前方戰事如何？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOuS5vHgZ7
哪咤：急需增兵。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrk7q4DJ2KN
玉帝：10萬兵力也不夠？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeWy8PjByU
哪咤：孫悟空的兵力也是10萬，不能群毆。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwu4aNVwBt
玉帝：啊！天宮的總兵力只有10萬。諸位仙臣，這可咋辦？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt89TYFhr25
突然，一道霞光閃過，南海觀世音路過。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmi4MnGQSXH
觀音：諸位好！我們一起參加蟠桃宴會吧？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRWlic6RLq
王母：蟠桃宴會的飯菜，被下界一個叫孫悟空的猴子偷吃了！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1zqOpDh7Q
觀音：陛下，真的麽？求證一下。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLv1fwwiUx5
玉帝：真的。我後悔，當初多花錢、多招兵買馬，多好。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrzDw6DlSD
觀音：孫悟空很厲害麽？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gLjf2wQMd
玉帝：那猴子偷吃仙桃、偷吃仙丹、偷喝仙酒，是一個擁有兵力10萬之多，很厲害的一個吃貨！觀愛卿，你可有法子對付？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDqsQ8adMA
觀音：我推薦一位。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39bNfQSQOd
玉帝：直說。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9Gp1XkAw3
觀音：二郎神。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIYfwc8XHz
玉帝：2——郎神？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHwoxua4VA
觀音：二郎神現居灌江口，享受下方香火，他也是一個吃貨。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeMnxF8XqJ
玉帝：行麽？聽到2我擔心。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Rfks2tSgT
觀音：放心。你別忘了，一貨擒一貨。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAG8W1izNL
玉帝：他還是2貨吧。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEn2btZFkH
觀音：二郎神可以一抵萬！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxYjmuIz51
玉帝：好！增兵一萬，宣2郎神迎戰孫悟空。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JsQsJgWgB
哪咤帶著二郎神，見到托塔天王。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHSw9bE3tY
哪咤：增兵到。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeG2tU2oj1d
托塔天王：增兵多少？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPs4S7EqFS9
哪咤：一萬。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRM3UuPYlx2
托塔天王：在哪？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MZG2sLFnB
二郎神：我。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmq0bToKVJJ
托塔天王：怎麽帶來一個人？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3j1GPEC8Yd
哪咤：父王，觀音和玉帝都說，他可以以一抵萬。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcQMcK48Kb
托塔天王：超兵一萬，夠群毆了。天兵聽令，舉起你們手中的兵器，群毆開始。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfx5CGsKWjS
二郎神：慢。聽說孫悟空和我一樣，都是吃貨。在群毆之前，我想單獨和孫悟空交流一下。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4D0E4IMitf
托塔天王：你交流快點。手舉著兵器，挺累的。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4fmdXGFC2
相貌清俊、秀氣的二郎神，手拿三尖兩刃槍，步伐輕盈的走在花果山上。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadbACvpZkR
眾猴：好帥喔！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcWoSiUu3U
悟空：帥哥，你哪位？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0wjEiEZYi
二郎神：我是號稱以一抵萬的灌江口吃貨……71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwyKViMonr
悟空：同吃，同吃。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqT2ZRQyY6a
二郎神：帥氣稱霸一方，至今還單身、還沒經歷初戀、還是處男的二郎神！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SGima7uts
悟空：沒感覺。我男的。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKdtCZCdZa
二郎神一轉身，不知從那拿出一朵花，含在嘴裏。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9siLilxM5
悟空：說了沒感覺，你擺Pose也沒用。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnUj0Tkf2W
二郎神：知道這是什麽花？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaKXrY3NE2
悟空：鮮花。我這花果山多的是。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaDs6iOVlh
二郎神：錯！這是一朵只在冬天盛開的梅花。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbeZ6h8R3d
悟空：喔。這種花，花果山可沒有。你那多不多？我打算移植到花果山。等花果山上下雪，我想身臨其境「墻角樹枝美，唯有暗香來」的詩境。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XNVDsda7E
二郎神：知道這是什麽神器麽？（手指自己的兵器）71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyv2ccMyK0
悟空：怪怪的。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLtSyaDrCB
二郎神：這是上古神器——三尖兩刃槍。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AEIHQQuyp
悟空：三刃兩尖槍？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuJdkjNyEa
二郎神：三尖兩刃槍。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdO4ZSNLRP
悟空：幹脆簡稱三尖槍，聽到這麽憋口的武器名字，沒心情和你打了。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBhEyRctEn
二郎神：誰說和你打？我只想在群毆前，會會你。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqjHjYpKu2
悟空：多你一個，也看不出群毆的效果。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaALE7mQOaL
二郎神：我可是以一抵萬。多我一個，等於多了一萬人。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEgKbUSFFB
悟空：好吧。這次天宮對我群毆的挑戰，我接受。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyPxBQf4cl
二郎神：等著群毆吧你！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGheY1KX9Gs
悟空：現在還沒開始，你我先過幾招，預熱一下，咋樣？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0S1pirlzNf
二郎神：現在10萬人圍著花果山，你不覺得熱嗎？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEvNq9dmW2
悟空：我有點缺氧。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPMWYmeH24
二郎神：同感。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOTU9QEBx3
孫悟空和二郎神開始做深呼吸。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8wDQxdpMs
悟空：我還沒和處男打過，你和我打一場，破破我的處吧。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOgdIGDHie
二郎神：不打。等天上的兵器扔你。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAfg4Lhw2Q
悟空：你一個人打敗我，拿個頭等功。知名度一提高，會吸引很多美女。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhYvOK8nrz
二郎神：開打。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6c2VCeIjt
兩個人的兵器一碰，三尖槍斷了。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuHuvFYAjv
二郎神：啊！我的神器！55555……（大哭）71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFl5nd9DiPG
悟空：什麽神器，不堪一擊。要麽是次品，要麽是膺品，要麽是仿品。不要為它難過了。回家找個不是奸商的鐵匠，重新打造一件。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡish3hz34La
二郎神：我的真是上古神器。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1urdbQuy6
悟空：是麽？我這根棍子，是上上古的神器，你的材質沒我的好。不要為它難過了。回家買件上上上古的，肯定比我的好。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hEDNQAOWy
二郎神：我要為我的神器報仇！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjBznBmwK9
悟空：你回家買一件再說。過幾天，我約你再戰。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqIlRwmkdK
二郎神：我還帶著一件上古神器呢。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlexinz9XuK
悟空：留著吧，別斷了再傷心。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptOzDZHhgk
二郎神把2指頭伸進嘴裏，吹了一聲口哨。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLrkLRe8I9
悟空：這也算神器？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUwCL7NSBv
口哨一吹，不知從那冒出一條狗，在孫悟空腿上咬了一口。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXwP8FnCDO
悟空：疼死我了！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjMOALtEvk
二郎神：哈哈哈。這是我的第二件神器——上古神犬。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNsMzC4BUP
悟空：有沒有狂犬病？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90iwgvre5x
二郎神：不確定。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wSNmYqwoK
悟空：來人！我要看醫生！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZy8k4MNnQc
南天門的大門口。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1j3r66ty0L
觀音：孫悟空被二郎神打傷了。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPf5I4VjFGj
玉帝：貌似不是2郎神傷的。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYumVvFB2UU
太上老君：陛下，我可助二郎神一臂之力。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QKi00b9GE
玉帝：你也養狗？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1OMWHOqzJ
太上老君：我沒養狗，但我有一個套狗的金剛圈。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDkF9INn5i
玉帝：能套猴子嗎？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyhNZ4juiU
太上老君：都是動物，應該可以。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfa8mu1qKBr
說著，老君拿出金剛圈，瞄準孫悟空，把金剛圈發射出去。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWXYPX1XIa
孫悟空還在忍痛求救，沒註意天上掉下東西，被金剛圈砸中頭部，暈倒了。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33hJSyZRMm
二郎神叫來托塔天王，將其繩索捆綁，返回天宮。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWC8B0OMRD5
孫悟空被天兵押到斬妖臺，玉帝率眾觀斬。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqjYkFWm7v
玉帝：孫悟空，沒想到，你怕狗。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJprj1QDe2
悟空：剛才，是誰扔磚砸我頭的？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfVAaOwrrq
太上老君：不是磚，是金剛圈。你恨我吧？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuq6maPTbu
悟空：謝謝你！我被你的金剛圈點穴，止住大動脈，控製了狂犬病毒在我體內的擴散。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfA1eKoEvN
太上老君：啊。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteKGbSIVcU
悟空：諸位，我被狗咬了。和我保持一定距離，小心狂犬病。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxhfnA053w
玉帝：開斬！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDRcI4KNNp
悟空：等等。我是仙不是妖，不能在斬妖臺斬我。求換地方。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOE1S311G5M
玉帝：換什麽地方。把「妖」改成「仙」，筆墨伺候。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NJkqf2i5w
在斬妖仙臺，孫悟空被刀砍斧剁，火燒雷擊。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ122env2lZp
悟空：我死了沒有？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07hUpzZtmY
玉帝：啊！怎麽還不死？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNTe7AeOQG
太上老君：陛下，孫悟空偷吃仙界食物，已是金剛之身，殺他的方法不對啊。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0ewjFZv2l
玉帝：咋辦？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxrFltfZcQ
太上老君：把孫悟空放進我的八卦爐，扣緊蓋子，煉上7749天，他化成金水，能煉出金子。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdH0C5TClwQ
玉帝：太好啦！煉出金子，可以招兵買馬。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MbsvaJfxm
孫悟空被天兵押到兜率宮。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh01pNnnitl
太上老君：把孫悟空推進八卦爐。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgpxIYEuPO
悟空：真要把我煉成黃金？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNuP7vBYPt
太上老君：玉帝急需用錢。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fhyyHQOHv
悟空：這裏有沒有浴池？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oE22sXC7c
太上老君：想幹嘛？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhEG3A5a4P
悟空：我想脫掉衣服，洗洗澡，去趟廁所。可以確保煉出黃金的含金率在99.9999999%以上。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ERybWiuhk
太上老君：放心的進去吧！我這爐子煉成的黃金，都是100%的純度。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfohPuxeCW
悟空：需要煉我多久？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskIekoNTOG
太上老君：7749天。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRv5O7P1AwP
悟空：盡量快些。我很想體驗一下，變成黃金的感覺。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlU9XjEqRs
1天，2天，3天………7749天後。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOaUjqGXbH
太上老君：開爐！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBhKnsIDCM
老君探頭向爐中一看，看到2個圓圓的、閃閃發光的東西。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwF4XuQkcC
太上老君：哈哈！孫悟空被煉成金蛋啦！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjoANr5UVK
說著，伸手去拿金蛋。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡillRlFMZtb
只聽爐內「哎呀」一聲！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgm6j0pUQy
爐內：誰插我？誰插我？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTns0afODHV
太上老君：我的金蛋！我的金蛋！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqc3CF7eIwJ
爐內：哪個王八蛋插我？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthY6mk6Z2L
呼！孫悟空從爐內跳出來。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3NFYuKafc
悟空：哪個王八蛋插我眼睛？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMUQkYv8vr
這時，老君才看清楚，發光的2個金蛋，是孫悟空的2只眼睛。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUAUFJb2cH
太上老君：孫悟空，你怎麽還沒死？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2hLXYbWCl
悟空：我也想知道。我怎麽還沒變黃金？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGFOaua9aZ
太上老君：你的眼睛已變成黃金。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCQJKt83Fz
悟空：多謝了。我的眼睛已經變成火眼金睛！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8384m6MFGz
太上老君：有什麽了不起。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDtHn58PD4
突然，老君的衣服起火。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfoGYe4wMTE
太上老君：啊！孫悟空，不要用你的眼睛看我！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxJLxt0zxN
兜率宮內，孫悟空眼睛看到的地方，急速起火。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTgdSfyB9m
太上老君極速報知靈霄殿的玉帝。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwNQIWHKhS
太上老君：陛下，備水！備水！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BjR5DDRrh
玉帝剛好喝下一口茶，看到老君衣服冒火，嘴裏一噴水，火滅了。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIWly874pI
玉帝：老君，你煉金小心點。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxC9DWWlxU
太上老君：陛下，孫悟空從火爐逃出，還煉成一對火眼金睛，看到什麽就使什麽著火！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75iNA4WJ09
眾仙：啊！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVF138lBza
玉帝：怕什麽。來人，放狗！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmKYQNfDOf
剛說完，孫悟空來了。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxlNr7jFyJ
悟空：玉帝，狗在我這。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FiwMTEx29
玉帝一看，孫悟空用火眼金睛，正在烤一只狗。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEhOZnNGzZ
玉帝：啊！護駕！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDMXwhhVTh
眾仙神護住玉帝。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP16gvN5lAz
悟空：別緊張。等會兒大家一起吃燒烤。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uaGvezJ6m
一會兒，靈霄殿上，到處是火。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADUo0DOtKE
玉帝和太白金星躲在一張桌子下，一杯一杯的不停向身上倒水。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eOdxQ3YLY
玉帝：愛卿，快幫朕想想辦法。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWeepv6Dx9
太白金星：陛下，聽說西方雷音寺的主持如來，有一坐騎是一條狗，很厲害。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0gdrDNTie
玉帝：他哪是啥狗？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupz0On1SER
太白金星：好像叫佛獒。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYgPP6CIlf
玉帝：速請西方如來！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNfEXNYxNA
如來騎著佛獒，從靈山雷音寺趕來。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcoaM7vnYg
悟空：你哪位？愛吃燒烤嗎？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8cVYhoDXP
如來：我是西方極樂世界釋迦牟尼尊者，南無阿彌陀佛。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaV6ddvJJrn
悟空：歡迎！一只狗不夠吃，你的這條狗，能不能貢獻一下？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63vQPfaGcX
如來：孫悟空，狗是人類最好的朋友。很多人反對、反感吃狗肉，你怎麽一點也不愛護動物？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWbfVlvO5u
悟空：難道你愛護動物？整天騎著狗亂逛，你願意被人騎著亂逛啊？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BuBa6PGQF
如來：額。。。我這條狗名叫佛獒，很兇猛。我騎著它，是防止它咬人。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP78sDfYy4E
悟空：防止咬人還會咬人。吃進肚子，省心看管，絕不咬人。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJnmPaEOvl
如來：我這條狗，可不好吃！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF58tMfSsJS
悟空：調料放全，好吃的很。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiZrqokkTt
如來：我先讓你吃一小塊。難吃，你別吃它，留它一條性命。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfB6DflNFDz
悟空：先來一條狗腿。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQSNV4Ulh9
如來：我先給你一只狗掌吧。接著！71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKbtzoAADO
如來投給孫悟空一只狗掌。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavhFQIhyxX
悟空接住狗掌，發現狗掌上有一串字——唵嘜呢叭嘧吽。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5UY92pkKL
悟空：你還會微雕？71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFpM7yZXSa
突然，狗掌越變越大、越變越大……71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmnzVLzc7P
悟空：這麽大，我可吃不完。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw23zNMIM4E
狗掌化作金木水火土五座聯山，喚名五行山，墜落在地球，重重的把孫悟空壓住。71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHadgjeyFX7
71Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFWmNo4q0d
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