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Alexandre Cabanel, Fallen Angel (L'ange déchu), 1847.
"Now terror begins inside a bloodless vein99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSpSZP3lbK
I was just a product of the street youth rage99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuaU3Zoclc
Born in this world without a voice or say99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhk2znhrwIS
Caught in the spokes with an abandoned brain99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡon7HcG3DiY
I know you well, but this ain't a game99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4F5ZQfOsBu
Blow the smoke in diamond shape99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Wk1NbmWo7
Dying is a gift, so close your eyes and rest in peace."
- King for a Day by Pierce The Veil.
Trigger Warning (TW): Explicit content on violence, murder, and cursing.
"Oh my God!"
Slowly, Jacob turns his gaze towards Veronica and instantly his stomach clenches. She stands before him in a pastel blue towel wrapped around her small frame, water droplets gracing her dark skin as she stares at him wide-eyed. Her hair is completely wrapped by what seems to be a white t-shirt with her face looking hydrated and plump. Jacob's lips part in awe and he can feel the heat racing to his face as Veronica backs into her drawer.
Fuck!
"..." It takes him a moment to pull himself together before questioning her, " Why do you keep this?"
Veronica looks down at the floor then back to his eyes.
" I...wanted to g-give it back."
His eyes drill into her with his thoughts racing inside his mind. Jacob stares as if trying to look inside her- everywhere inside her to find any hint of recognition towards him. If she wanted to give it back, why did she hold onto it like this? Why did she carry it everywhere with her? In her pillows, in her hands, at school as if ... it meant something.
Remember me.
"Do you remember?" Jacob licks his lips, pleading with a dark gaze for her to answer. When Veronica returns his stare confused he furrows his brows somberly. The sound of feet coming towards them cuts the moment and Jacob slides past Veronica as she's distracted then enters her bathroom. He closes the door quietly just before her bedroom door can open.
Veronica's bathroom, compared to his, is the tiniest bathroom he's ever seen. Most of the space is dedicated to her mirror and her shower. The shower curtains were white with blue fishes running across them and she had various hair products adorned over the counter. The floor was still wet with Veronica's scent and steam lingering in the air.
Jacob idly familiarizes himself with her hair products. He picks up her spray bottle that was a milky texture, a couple of combs and brushes, and a huge bottle of conditioner. While inspecting, he catches himself in her mirror and notices blood specks on his forehead peeking behind his fringe. He wipes it then moves his way to the bathtub. He sits on the edge to see inside and finds various long strands of curly hair spread out over it's floor. Unexpectedly, he hears the bathroom door open and before he can turn around, he hears it close with a "Bang!" . Curious, he walks to the door and places his ear against to hear outside.
"Why you slam that door?"
"I...I didn't want to change in there, it's too wet." He could hear Veronica choosing her words wisely and smirked.
"Look," He listens to Mary's voice and presses his face further," I know things are hard at school right now, so I understand you're a bit stressed out."
"But you're just going to have to hold in for a little while. We can't afford to have you switch schools again. Besides, Liz and Michael mi-"
Jacob furrows his brows as Veronica responds," What do you mean switch schools again? You keep saying that but I don't-"
"You don't remember? When you were younger like about...five or six-I don't know what happened, but you wouldn't come out of your room for weeks!"
Jacob begins to back away from the door as Mary continues.
"This is when your stuttering problem started too but one day, you were so excited about something, a present you were going to give to a classmate for Valentine's Day. When you came home, though-"
A ringing interrupts Mary as Jacob sits down on Veronica's toilet to calm himself down. Jacob bites on his nails and rubs his hands through his hair trying to deal with the fact that, as a child- a more unbalanced version of himself could have scared Veronica so bad she switched schools.
His arm imprisons her tiny neck while her legs kick in a frenzy. Jacob feels her tiny pulse thumping against his skin.
Nails dig into his scalp to inflict pain as punishment as he remembers their first visit in a different light.
...he places his hand on the back of her skull with his other on the chin.
Fuck Fuck Fuck!
Jacob begins to punch his head, wallowing in the possibilities of how he broke Veronica. Did he start her stuttering problem? Did he stunt her ability to bloom and be confident like she wanted to? Suddenly, he hears a door close and immediately stops bringing himself out of his sulking. In that moment, he realizes there was no way he could have done all those things because he remembers what- or who caused more damage to her than anything else.
He watches them pull her into a dark corner then tear her apart starting with her hair, her clothes, and hurting her delicate skin in various ways.
Jacob grins due to recalling how, since that day, he's always made sure Veronica would never have to suffer something like that again. He recalls how he made Seth scream in pain and made sure he would never be able to walk again with the legs that hurt her. He gets up, grabbing a fine-tooth comb, and opens the bathroom door cautiously. Seeing Veronica, he wraps his arm around her neck with his other arm encompassing her waist so she would lean into him. He hears her gasp quietly and grabs a strand of her hair, wrapping the curl around his finger.
"It's still wet. I'll help you."
"J-Jacob, you have to l-leave-"
He grabs her by the shoulders, pushing her onto the bed and eagerly pulls out the comb from his back pocket.
"What are you doing?"
Jacob pauses, titling his head before responding," Helping you."
Veronica scoffs and Jacob can't help but find it cute.
"You see this?" Veronica unwraps her hair and points to her head.
Jacob hitches in his breath again. Dusky coils sit on her shoulders while her bangs spread across her forehead in ringlets. It looks like a curly halo to him while she talks, expressing her disbelief in him choosing a comb but he's not listening. How can he with her looking at him with such an exquisite and adorable face?
"A comb won't do shit, but Jacob-"
"No stuttering?" He smiles wildly in a daze but bringing to her attention her comfortableness with him. The idea that she's getting used to him makes his stomach clench in excitement more.
Veronica pauses and stays stuck within her thoughts, giving Jacob enough time to come back and bring a different kind of brush with her spray bottle. He reaches for her hair again but she backs away accompanied by a yelp.
"W-what are you d-doing?" She asks standing up, causing Jacob to tilt his head again.
"I want to help you." She's testing his patience by asking too many questions. He wasn't used to talking to her or anyone else in general.
"I don't know i-if you should be here. I thi-"
He grabs her shoulders again, repeating the action from earlier with more force and pushes her onto the edge of the bed.
"Then ask me to leave," Jacob threatens, spinning Veronica around to have her back face him ", Call the police."
To be honest, Jacob doesn't know if she will or not. If so, he wouldn't hurt her and run away but it would break his heart more than anything. But when she stays quiet and still for a few more moments, he grins wide with a pounding heart.
Good girl.
There could be multiple reasons to why she didn't do it but more than anything, it gave him more drive to never let her go.
Jacob runs the brush through Veronica's tresses, but it's difficult for him to focus. He tries to stop his hands from shaking and compensates by being rough for the first couple of sections of her hair. He can't get over how smooth and flexible it was in his hands. It's like a course wool and images of him yanking her by the hair play like film in his mind. However, he chooses to prioritize Veronica's comfort and begins to work gently with her different facial expressions guiding him.
"Do y-you know how to twist?" Veronica murmurs softly, grabbing his attention and he stops for a moment.
"How many times I gotta' to tell you," Mary retwist the little girl's hair, grabbing the clip from her," When you play too much, you mess up your hair! Right, Veronica?"
Jacob reflects on that memory and perfectly imitates Mary's hand movements on one section of Veronica's hair before showing her. Veronica, undeniably shocked, she nods her head in approval and allows him to continue. As he begins a routine of detangling and twisting her hair, Jacob directs his attention on other things. He takes notice of the three moles trailing along the back of her neck and how her ears have pointed tips. Also, he notices the miniature hairs along her skin were darker in some parts than others. Jacob keeps trying to mentally force himself to multitask amidst these observations. After 45 minutes, he hears a small snorkel noise and finds Veronica sleeping with her chin to her chest. Immediately, Jacob takes Veronica's head and leads her gently into his lap to continue doing her hair. From time to time, he would pause his twisting to stare at Veronica intensely and admiring her profile.
Finished, Jacob drags her to the front of her bed then places her head on a pillow with a towel underneath. Jacob studies her and goes deep into thought while sitting on the edge.
I love you.
He places his large hand softly on her cheek before handling one side of her face.
I feel like the absurdity of my life will kill me if I can't be with you.
His fingers snake their way to her ear then her scalp and he massages it tenderly.
I will fight for you. I would do anything for you.
Jacob's slowly moves towards her face while fighting against the admiration and desire to fall into Veronica. He gazes down at her sleeping form starting from her lashes, the tip of her nose, then down to her lips.
I love you.
Abruptly, Jacob stands upright from hearing footsteps coming towards the bedroom and quickly runs towards the opened window. As Mary begins to open the door, Jacob hangs onto the branch he always sits on his body isn't within the window's view. Yet, he still panics because if Mary wanted to look out the window she would be able to see him.
"Veronica...Oh you're sleeping! Imma' tell you tomorrow." He hears Mary's voice coming closer to the window. Sweat drops down his face and he hears her close the window, finally able to let go of the branch.
He lands on his back with the grass staining his shirt as he stays still, groaning in pain. Slowly, Jacob starts to chuckle and it transitions to a deep, light-hearted laugh smiling ear to ear. He covers his face with his hands trying to stop his grinning but he can't. The happiness takes over his body causing convulsions to pleasantly rampage within him.
He gazes down at her sleeping form, staring at the tip of her nose down to her lips.
Fuck.
---
"What are you doing?" His mother criticizes.
Jacob sits at the table while his parents glare him down like a disease. As soon as he walks through the door from Veronica's house, wanting to just tell his Dad he finished his assignment, his parents are waiting for him at the table. As his jaw ticks with arms crossed, Jacob doesn't respond to his mother's question with eyes pointed at the table.
"Jacob, they said you went over to that girl's house again."
His heart drops. Jacob should have known they were spying on him again despite he told them not to. They made a deal: they'll leave him alone and he'll do whatever assignments they need him for, no matter how gruesome. He's more than angry and panic racks his insides but he tries his best to hide it. When he doesn't give them a response, he hears his mother continue.
"We will state this for the last time, stay away from her."
Pain.
"It's for your own good."
Die.
He imagines the deafening voice of the shore at night, a still silence with fog washing over the sky to distract him from the ticking in his head. It hasn't even started, but the thought of an absent Veronica in his life makes him want to return to the ocean. He's spent almost the last decade without her and nothing to defend himself with against the blood, murdering, hollowness, and screeching that comes to plague his thoughts at night. To go back to that...after everything that has happened with her...
"From now on, you are forbidden from going there. You need to focus on your duties, responsibilities, and future."
"We will not have these...adolescent feelings get in the way of our growing empire."
A bitter shriek erupts from the base of his chest, poisoning his thoughts. A tight line forms on his lips and he tries to glance past his parents who stare through him. Their faces hurt his eyes so badly he wants to tear them apart. It hurts to know they're being completely serious. In the past, they mentioned Veronica in passing, usually accompanied with derogatory slurs telling him they disapprove but it wasn't like this. Making it forbidden to ever see her again slices him to bits, kicking at the wounds from being isolated all these years. He lowers his head to the table solemnly and clutches his aching stomach.
"It's for your own good." He hates his mother's voice the most, how her words don't match the mocking tone.
"Because you have disrespected our wishes twice, you will be punished."
He bites down on his tongue hard.
"Be ready at three AM."
The waves in his mind become louder until, abruptly, eerie screams dance behind his eyes as his parents leave him at the table.
---
"What are you doing..." Valeriya mutters cautiously, keeping her eyes trained on the wall as her husband's blood continues to drip down her face.
Jacob stands before her with his silencer jammed into Valeriya's temple and body trembling in anger. He's drenched in blood, some his and some not, and in tattered and dirty clothes. His nostrils flare and his eyes, full of resentment, pierce into his mother's skull.
" What am I doing? What am I doing?..."
Valeriya hears him turn off the safety lock on the gun and tilts her head as he pushes it further against her head.
"You fucked me over."
There's a tremble in his voice but it's coated with murderous intent, most likely from finding out what they had done. Valeriya stays silent then slowly turns her head where Jacob quickly moves the gun to the space between her eye and tears ready to spill.
"Jacob-"
"Tell me why I shouldn't kill you right now like I did him." He demands in Russian in a sharp and cold voice.
She looks into his eyes, really looks at him, and instantly shrinks away. Ever since he was little, he scared the shit out of her. Nonetheless how terrible his father was, it was more terrifying how Jacob became more intelligent, skilled, and stronger over the years. Less easy to control. She could blame herself for that, her own resentment over being married to a psycho and birthing his spawn keeping her from building a loving relationship with Jacob. However...
"You're dangerous. A goddamn liability," She speaks genuinely to him for the first time," You're rabid and violent, Jacob. Look at what you did to your father!"
"You tried to kill me," tears stain his cheeks," You two ambushed me with three of your employees and tried to leave me for dead in the forest."
"Do you understand why?" Valeriya shrieks finally realizing the full extent of the situation. She glances at her dead husband and gulps. There was a long silence, causing Valeriya to scoff and look at Jacob before saying something she knew could send her to hell.
"She'll never love you." Jacob flinches.
"Shut up."
"Face it, Jacob. Why would she want a monster like you?"
"Stop talking right now."
"Why would she want someone who's devoid of care, love, and compassion? You're too- "
"Shut the fuck up!" He screams in her face with his expressing sheer fury and amber eyes blazing.
"Shut the fuck up! You don't know her- "
"Oh, I do. It's that tar girl you're constantly stalking. Constantly following. Constantly going over to her house and watching her. Did you think we didn't notice?"
Jacob says nothing as she continues, "You're so enamored with her to where it's sickening. Do you think she would choose to like someone who kills for a living?"
He tries wiping the tears away with his loose hand.
" You're an intelligent boy yet you're pathetically stupid."
"It's because of you," Jacob chokes out with anguish layering his voice," It's because of you I'm this way!"
"Oh, please-"
"I am a shell of whoever this person is, whoever I am!"
Jacob presses the gun deeper.
"You'd rather I be filled with toxins, poisoned from my head to my fucking toes so you can make yourself look better to the organization to where you don't care if I feel like a trash can."
Valeriya scoffs," These fucking dramatics, please Ja- "
"Mom," Jacob pleads desperately," They put stuff in me that made me so empty and starved I didn't want to breathe anymore..."
Valeriya flinches but stares at him with little remorse. She can't feel bad for him. She can't bring herself to feel any guilt because, to her, he was empty, starved, and vicious from birth. That's how they had to make him for the sake of the lineage, and she refused to feel any regret for what she was ordered to do. Jacob turned out to be a prodigy- the best assassin within his generation and even outshining some of the elders.
He wasn't created to be loved on. They weren't supposed to love him but make him into a warrior- A King. Someone who would help them rule everything with every kill.
"I tried to kill myself and you guys didn't care, not one bit. You wanted me to keep going even though my mind was somewhere in the ocean."
Valeriya looks between Jacob and the gun, the pit of her stomach churns violently.
"Then you want to punish me because the only thing I have left is her?"
A gunshot rings through the house and Jacob drops the silencer as his mother falls on top of his father. For 30 minutes, he sobs and cradles his head in his hands. Finally, he gets up to cleans every area that can be identified and traced back to him before calling Alice to meet him at his parent's port place. When Alice arrives, the stench of raw fish makes him want to puke and he takes notice of the numerous luggage surrounding Jacob.
"What's going on?" He says suspiciously.
"I need to leave and I need you to take care of some stuff for me."
"What are you talking about, Jacob?"
"You'll find out tomorrow, I just need yo-"
Alice jaw ticks. He knows this game too well. " No. I need you to tell me what's going on right now..."
When Jacob doesn't reply, Alice pulls out his phone," I'm texting your dad. I don't know what-"
"He's dead..."
Alice looks up at Jacob in mid text.
"...What?"
"They're both dead, Alice. Can you please listen an-"
"What the fuck did you do?" Alice accuses Jacob and his voice begins to rise in disbelief and fear. "What did you do, Jacob? What did you fucking do?"
"I need you to handle some stuff for me while I'm gone, Alice. Can I trust you to do that?"
"Fuck no! No, you can't, Jacob! Oh my god, "Alice tries to calm himself down," Did you kill them? Did you seriously do it, why? Why-"
"I need you to calm down-"
"You're nuts, Jacob. You know that? How am I supposed to explain this to everyone? What will happen to my parents- to us? Oh fuck. Why did-"
"They ambushed me, Alice," Jacob screams catching Alice's attention," They punished me for seeing Veronica and planted me in a forest with a bunch of assassins in hopes they would kill me. Is that what you need to know?"
Alice just looks at Jacob his shocking blue eyes then glues them to the ground.
"So yes, I did fucking kill them. They were willing to end me, their only fucking son, because I wanted something more in life than this shit. "Jacob cries bitterly while pulling out the silencer.
"I wanted them to leave me alone! I want to be with her!" Jacob rubs his hand against his mouth and laughs bitterly," They never gave me anything- not even a real fucking birthday yet I did everything they asked me to. They couldn't even give me privacy. So now- and this is what fucking hurts the worst, I have to go away. I have to leave her again and I have to figure out where I'm going to hide for the time being without putting her in danger. "
"Is that why you tried to kill yourself?"
Jacob says nothing.
"When you tries to kill yourself after Moscow, was it because of her?"
Yes. I tried to kill myself because I couldn't make it without her.
Jacob changes the topic," Do you at least understand?"
"Yes," Alice sighs unwillingly as an image of Lizzy pops into his head," but not as... intensely."
He sighs and continues," Well...What do you need me to do?"
ns 172.70.42.207da2
