Sometimes , life puts in a pedestal   , people around fill you with confident ,draw what you look like they say what they see then suddenly you became what they do , ever since I was a kid I held a lot of things against me I was the smartest it was a lie , I was the prettiest it was a lie ,I was talented it was a lie I looked like and old paint people around me drew full of flaws not because it's ugly but because it was never me , confident to me was the biggest lie ever the worse , I believed it , I thought I was good enough , I was wriog mistaken as hell I had to throw everything I thought I had one by one , till I found my self naked not literally but this the way you feel when all what around you see your true colours ,. But those are not mine people think they are just because simply I wasn't what they thought was I my real self was left in the shadow broken and trapped in thick chocker of *faith* nothing was really that bad but her .... The woman she loved the most the woman I worked my whole life for *mother* I swear I didn't wanna fail her I swear I thought I am better than doing that but I was blinded and trapped I hate to say it unlike usual I was less than what expected , that day when I knew I failed her I knew she still has some point of faith on me I saw the look in her eyes , the way her lips parted to yell at me telling me how much I broke her and how I stole her dreams away and I know she did a lot I know she will , i do not deserve it  , the way her mind told me take it , take it you know you will fix this you know maybe not now but you will make her proud , I was scared all of these words my mind tells just to survive ,I wonder if I am right and how will I gave her back her dreams she lost I am still 17 and I know life is open for me I know that , right now I think maybe dying is better ...but I know it's too early and I know I will make it , I will make it , I will take every insult or blame I deserve , faith is scarry comparison is terrifying , confident it's not the soloution every time be realistic ....be realistic , at least after ripping this ugly paint ...I will be free from anyone's faith but me because I know I have bright life to work on 8964 copyright protection1ＰＥＮＡＮＡYASH8nRcRN 維尼

216.73.216.238