FINAL DESTINATION - 1000 Ways to Die | Penana

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Writer Capt. leon
  • G: General Audiences
  • PG: Parental Guidance Suggested
  • PG-13: Parents Strongly Cautioned
  • R: Restricted
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1000 Ways to Die
Capt. leon
Aug 11, 2018
4 Mins Read
No Plagiarism!u7B5ewKOSt6661mtnt3fposted on PENANA

This is a not-for-profit fanfic that does not seek to infringe any rights whatsoever from those who hold the rights to the " final destination ", " the big bang theory " and " 1000 ways to die" franchises.copyright protection4PENANAAyNC5DJH4b

FINAL DESTINATIONcopyright protection4PENANAIzijFxQpmI

Capítulo 14: 1000 Ways to Diecopyright protection4PENANATsOZubsRFw

Date: April 13, 20xxcopyright protection4PENANA6g5USaxCSC

Location: Pasadena, California, United Statescopyright protection4PENANANBb6VRDLgZ

Meet Barry Kripke, a theoretical physicist working at the California Institute of Technology (Caltech), Kripke suffers from rotacism, a phonetic disease that he says diminishes his social life. The truth is, Barry is a cretin with a miserable personality that scares anyone away.copyright protection4PENANAu9si8WuBN9

This despicable two-legged rat lives on the outskirts of Pasadena and every weekend he jogs around, well, let's say jogging is a relative term. What Kripke actually does is put on ridiculous sports clothes and pretend to jog when he walks right past the window of an albino girl named Larou.copyright protection4PENANA7UpcOinmUf

The girl may be an albino, but she has a good pair of... eyelashes.copyright protection4PENANAYIRaOM1sxi

Larou got four large, corpulent rottweilers. These "puppies" were given to the breastsgirl by Kripke, who wanted to impress her neighbor.copyright protection4PENANAr1rUkzQObE

Kripke was not an animal lover but he was a good concealer and every time his "big" neighbor had to travel, Larou gave him the task of taking care of the dogs to the slimy and recalcitrant nerd.copyright protection4PENANAYiynvnGSJB

Kripke convinced Larou to name the dogs: Sheldon, Leonard, Howard and Raj.copyright protection4PENANA8IjZT8LVBj

I'm sure the four Rottweilers didn't like the names very much because every time Kripke had to take care of them, they grunted threateningly at him, although of course, the human waste of Kripke also grunted at them.copyright protection4PENANAd3kFXFfNtq

Lieutenant Henry Morgan: Sergeant, Texas Police Department. Unit K9copyright protection4PENANAssI1Peow78

Attack dogs, like rottweilers, can be very tame if trained from an early age. One thing you shouldn't do to these dogs is stare them in the eye and show them your teeth at the same time, as if you were grunting at them. The dogs will take it as if you were challenging them to attack.copyright protection4PENANA7fRrfKA1Gb

Other than grunting, Kripke treated them badly with cold water from time to time. The four dogs probably wanted to eat the idiot, but a thick metal fence in the backyard prevented them from indulging themselves.copyright protection4PENANAkUeFzckO0O

Kripke had fun bothering the dogs, what the human waste did not know was that over the years the dogs were peeing right on the hinges of the fence and these were slowly dissolving.copyright protection4PENANAfsgYt6cSDj

Mr. Armando Erástegui: biochemist at Monarch Industries, Pennsylvania.copyright protection4PENANA0KzRcOCMQj

People's urine, or in this case dogs, have a percentage of acid that, although not very strong, can eventually interfere with the molecular density of certain structures, especially ignoble metals such as iron.In fact, in April 2003, Derbyshire County spent more than $50,000 on a consultancy to investigate the phenomenon of water hydrants and the structural wear of their bases due to animal urine.copyright protection4PENANAYaddQNpbCp

The good graduate is not lying, in fact, that same year many metal light poles in Croatia fell and killed a person because of the urine of man's best friend.copyright protection4PENANA0RSgPmn2e0

Sheldon, Leonard, Howard and Raj, were not friends with Kripke at all and every time the flip-flop face bothered them, they would push the fence with their paws in a vain attempt to bite the nerd's pathetic bones.copyright protection4PENANAmfLV7XKKJA

One day, before their well-proportioned owner returned from her trip, the dogs tried to bite Kripke, who was laughing at them with a beating jaw.copyright protection4PENANA3ILhVC4lNH

This time things turned out different. The two hinges of the fence were broken by the continuous onslaught of the canines and they neither short nor lazy proceeded to teach Barry Kripke, the law of Murphy.copyright protection4PENANALNyD4o0sre

Dr. Elias Esposito: resident physician at Humboldt Hospital, Minneapolis, United States, trauma area.copyright protection4PENANAsNudJCbtmV

The bite of a dog is measured by BFQ units and the rottweiler bite is the strongest bite of a domesticated canine including mastiff. In this case the subject suffered dismemberment of both the upper and lower extremities. Although it is rare for this result to occur, i.e. dismemberment of all four limbs, I am sorry to say that I have seen many times cases of patients who have suffered upper limb dismemberment, if these cases are treated early the patient can survive.copyright protection4PENANA4qDQHysMUf

Unfortunately for Kripke, not only did he lose his upper extremities, but also his lower extremities, and with the latter both femoral arteries.copyright protection4PENANAtF31i7qizR

Captain Marc Bassinger: (retired) officer of the New York Police Department, United States.copyright protection4PENANAx2F2goEsS1

In my entire career I've seen how robbery victims have survived shots at point-blank range to either the skull or the neck, but when someone takes a bullet in the femoral artery, there's little you can do, you need a lot of luck to survive something like that.copyright protection4PENANAnXr0N8zgUt

The Rottweilers, began to eat Kripke's face and crush his skull, fortunately, the subject was already dead due to blood loss from the femoral artery, cause of death: hypovolemic shock.copyright protection4PENANAwo8zprHQKh

Kripke thought that naming the Rottweilers after their college co-workers would be fun. He thought that bothering the dogs would be fun and thought that if he helped his busty neighbor with the mutts he would get some fun. Well, guess what, Kripke, not only karma, but dogs can bite your ass.copyright protection4PENANAHiknkALZ2E

WAY OF DYING NUMBER 111:...DOGGY STYLE.copyright protection4PENANA0qBsrpB0Fw

CONTINUARÁ...copyright protection4PENANAucUDLk5taP

I always see on the internet that people ask what is the difference between "final destination" and "1000 ways to die". Well, in the "final destination" movie franchise, people get scared; with the TV series "1000 Ways to Die", people laugh, that's the difference.copyright protection4PENANALS85ftG1tJ

The data in the interviews are true in case you ask.copyright protection4PENANAFu9gWBFxBl

I hope you have your dogs well tied up...copyright protection4PENANA46xYJjiPNt

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