There were two days left of the camping trip, one more night of sharing a tent with Ethan. I have never missed home so much in my life. I just wanna lock myself away until he takes the hint. I can’t fall in love-- not now, not ever-- And I’ll be damned if I let one stupid boy get in the way of that.
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“You don’t seem fine.” He blurted.
“I’m fine, I swear.”
“Don’t swear, because I know you’re not.”
“Are we really gonna argue over whether or not I’m fine?” I sighed.
“Yes, until you tell me what’s really going-”
“I’m scared.” I cut him off.
“Scared? Scared of what?”
“This,” I gestured my arms between us, back and forth. “Us.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’m scared to end up like my mom.”
“Nicci, I’m not gonna kill you.”
“Not physically.” I sighed.
“What are you talking about? What happened between your parents?”
“That’s none of your concern.”
“Well I need to know what I need to avoid.”
“You shouldn’t need to know my business to know how to treat me.”
He sighed in exasperation. “Why are you being so difficult?”
“Because.”
“Come on Nicci, don’t be such a child.”
“A child?!”
“Just tell me why you’re doing this!”
You won’t like it...
“Tell me!”
“Because I don’t trust you!” I cried.
“Why? Why don’t you trust me?!”
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“Because!” I sobbed. “One minute, you’re telling me ‘Oh, let’s be friends’ then the next you’re telling me you love me. Then you argue with me because I’m not feeling alright, even if I say that I am. Then to top it all off, you blame all that shit on me! So how am I supposed to feel, Ethan?!” Tears were streaming down my face again. “Tell me how I’m supposed to feel about it when my emotions are all over the place!”
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He sighed, trying to take away the tension from the situation. “I don’t know…”
“I want to go home. I don’t want to be anywhere near you anymore.”
“It’s just two more-”
“No,” I cut him off. “I want to go home.”
“No. We need this time together to get over whatever this is.”
“I can start by getting over you.”
“But what if I don’t want to get over you?” He sighed.
“I don’t care.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me right now…” He scoffed. “So did that kiss mean nothing? Did all your words mean nothing?!”
“You initiated that kiss, and you shot me down multiple times. You told me to stop loving you.” I sighed. “And now I have.”
“Perfect, just perfect.” He scoffed.
“What?” I replied in exasperation.
“Because now I can’t stop loving you.”
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I can’t do this... I can’t love him... But I want to. No. I don’t. I want to forget you. Why can’t I forget that I ever loved you?! Make it stop... Leave me alone... Stop loving me please... You’ll only hurt yourself...
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“I want you, Nicci. In every way, I want you…”
“I-”
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Before I could respond, his lips were on mine, with his hands cupping my face. Our breathing was heavy. We parted for a moment, looking into each other’s eyes. His arm was around my back as he slowly laid me down. His eyes never left mine. I was terrified, timid, weak, vulnerable... But he made me feel safe. The tension from our argument melted away as he looked into my eyes, kissing my neck and down to the collar of my shirt. I grabbed his hand to stop him.
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“Wait”
“What’s wrong? Did I do something? Did I hurt you?” He looked around for any signs that he hurt me in some way.
“No, it’s just-” I sighed. “Should we really be doing this? All rules aside, I’m nervous.”
“I’ll keep you safe, I promise. I’ll stop right when you ask me to.” He replied.
“Okay. Just, be gentle.”
“I promise.” He smiled reassuringly.
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He undressed me slowly, his hands brushing against my skin sent chills up my spine. Everytime I gasped I heard him moan lightly. He still went slow, never rushing.
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“You’re beautiful.” He said after every kiss he placed on my skin. Down, down, down.
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I inhaled sharply when he reached my v-line. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah.” I replied, breathing heavily.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’ve just never been touched before.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No, please don’t.”
He chuckled softly. “Alright.”
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When he reached me with his lips, magical is an understatement. The things he could do with his tongue made me moan. I was loving every second of the new-found pleasure he had bestowed upon me. I was grabbing his hair, I was loud, but he remained gentle.
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Beautiful.
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Don’t stop.
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Beautiful.
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I can feel the pressure rising, it’s building, I’m on cloud nine.
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Beautiful.
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Faster, faster, faster. His hands are grabbing my waist. I’m screaming his name.
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Beautiful.
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It’s over, I came. But the bliss still remains.
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He’s kissing me, all of me. Every inch. Nothing left untouched. He’s holding my shaking body in his arms. I want to stay like this forever. I want him forever.
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“I love you.” I whispered, out of breath.
“I love you more.” He kissed my forehead, his grip on me never ceasing.
“Please don’t let me go.” I whispered.
“Never.” He’s running his fingers through my hair. I want it to be like this forever.
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All my fear has melted away, the walls I built up are crumbling like Bastille. Brick by brick, he tore them down. I’m not afraid anymore.103Please respect copyright.PENANA78UgBsNPtB