With All My Heart - Part 6
Word Count: 2636
Pairing: Jensen x Reader
Warnings: Angst. Illness. There it is.
A/N: Unbeta’d. All mistakes are mine. Tags for this series are closed.
Feedback and constructive criticism always welcome
When your eyes finally fluttered open again, the afternoon sun was peeking in your hotel room window and shining on your face. You rolled from your stomach to your side, lifting yourself up on one elbow and running your hand over your face and through your hair. You felt much better than you had earlier, more like yourself. When you moved to get out of the bed your hand landed on a sheet of folded paper with your name scrawled on the front in Jensen’s handwriting.
I had to run down and get ready for the con. Breakfast will probably be cold by the time you get it, but it’s in the tray on the desk in the living room. Text me when you’re awake, please? If you feel up to it, we’d love to have you down here.
- J
You decided to surprise him instead of texting him and quickly showered, ate your breakfast, and got dressed. You ran down to the convention and walked into the open green room door. Rob saw you first and waved, but you put your finger to your lips to shush him as you walked up behind Jensen, wrapping your arms around his waist and resting your head on his back.
“Misha?” He teased and you kneed him in the back of his thigh. He spun in your arms, wrapping his arms around you and leaning down to kiss your forehead. “Feelin’ ok? I was worried.”
“Just massive jetlag I think.” You shrugged. “I feel normal now.”
“Ok. Are you gonna watch this panel? I’m gonna warn you…Daniela gives us apple juice and things get…weird.” You sniffed the glass he was holding and scrunched your nose.
“That ain’t apple juice.” You took the glass and downed a large gulp. “But it’s good.”
“Jensen?” Adam Fergus said from across the room. You both turned to look at him, his own glass held firmly in his hand. “Keep her.”
You stood off to the side of the stage for Jensen and Jared’s panels that day. Surprisingly, they’d managed to keep the topic of Jensen’s personal life away from the first panel, focusing it more on the show and Jared’s new baby. The second panel was where you didn’t get quite so lucky.
A girl in her early 20’s approached the mic to ask her question. As soon as Jared and Jensen greeted her she rubbed the back of her neck and laughed nervously. “Jensen, I saw your post the other day and the pictures from the restaurant last night and I was wondering if you had a girlfriend now and if you could tell us about her?”
“I…well to answer the first part of your question, yes. I have a girlfriend.” Jensen answered. “The story of how we met is interesting if I can tell it…” He glanced in your direction and you nodded, ducking further behind the curtain to be less noticeable. He continued on, telling the story of how you met in the hospital, earning a bunch of “aww’s” and squeals from the crowd. He finished with running into you in San Jac after you’d gotten the manager position and asking you out.
“I adore her.” Jared added. “The bonus was she’d never seen the show. She didn’t know we were actors or anything.”
“True.” Jensen said. “But that’s not really the bonus for me. She’s just…her. She’s beautiful and she’s sweet, she’s down to earth, funny as hell, so incredibly caring, and I love her.” You audibly gasped standing next to Daniela and Gen at the last part. He hadn’t said those words to you. Not yet.
“I told you.” Gen elbowed you in the arm and you smiled, nodding your head. Jensen looked back over to you, not even realizing what he’d said.
“Do you wanna come out?” He silently asked you, moving the mic away so nobody could hear him. Gen gave you a gentle shove and you moved your feet, slowly making your way to the stage, a bundle of nerves and anxiety.
Jensen met you halfway, engulfing you in a hug and capturing your lips in a tender kiss. “Guys, this is Y/N.”
“Hi.” You said weakly into Jensen’s mic and waved out at the crowd before practically attaching yourself to Jensen’s hip. Jared sensed your hesitation and got up out of his chair, taking your other side and putting his arm around you too, squishing you in the middle of a Jensen and Jared sandwich.
“You’re fine.” Jared leaned down to whisper in your ear. “That’s it for us for now guys!” Jared yelled to the crowd. The boys waved and said their goodbyes. You were pretty sure you waved goodbye too while Jensen held your other hand and guided you off the stage, but you were too lost in nerves and thought to remember.
“You did great.” Jensen pulled you to the side once you were backstage. “I know you were nervous, but baby – “
“Did you mean it?” You asked, cutting him off midsentence. “What you said? Did you mean it?”
“Yeah. You did great. I meant that.”
“No. Not that, Jensen.” You smiled and laughed. “You said you loved me. You were going on and on and it just slipped out but –“
“I love you.” Jensen interrupted you this time. “I know it’s really early and I know you have your doubts and you have every right to after how other guys have treated you but I love you.”
“I love you too.” You breathed, resting your palms against his chest. “I’ve known for awhile I just didn’t want you to think I was clingy or needy.” Jensen smiled bright before suddenly lifting you in his arms and spinning you around. “Jay!” You squealed.
“We should go get ready for dinner again.” Jensen smirked, resting his head on your forehead when he finally put you down. “Fair warning…Saturday is worse than Friday.”
“Will there be apple juice?” You questioned. “That was delicious.”
“Oh yeah.” Jensen nodded. “Plenty.”
“Then what the hell are we waiting for?” You grabbed his hand and turned, taking off down the hall.
“God, I love you.” Jensen laughed, following you back to the room.
The following day had practically flown by. You had been much less nervous and much more involved, partially thanks to the whiskey you’d been given and partially thanks to Jensen and the rest of the friends you’d made pushing you forward.
Jensen had moved on from his panel to autographs and you were sitting in the green room with Gen, Briana, Tom, and Shep. You were on the floor, playing with the kids and their trucks, when Rob burst through the door. “Y/N/N can we borrow you?”
“Yeah, of course.” You stood up from your spot and followed Rob out the door and down the hall, finding Jensen bent over, his hands on his knees and his body wracked with sobs. Jared and Misha were both trying to comfort him, which seemed to be helping just a bit. You ran over to him, not bothering to ask Rob what happened and knelt down, taking his face between your hands. “What happened, Jens?”
“There was this girl who was telling us about how she volunteered for the crisis support network.” Misha answered for him. “He told you about that, right?” You nodded your head, running your hands through Jensen’s hair. “I think it just…everything kinda hit him all at once. How much good it really does for people.”
“I got him. You guys can go back.” Jared and Misha both let Jensen go and you led him away, taking him to an empty room and shut the door. You didn’t say a word as you sat him down with you on the couch, resting his head on your shoulder and letting him cry. If he needed to let it out then you’d let him. He could talk when he was ready.
“I gotta go back down there. Finish autos. Everything’s gonna be late.” Jensen finally stuttered.
“You sure you’re ready?” You murmured. He nodded and pulled away, giving you a half smile. “You want me to go sit with you?”
“You’d do that?” He questioned. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“If it makes you more comfortable then I’m comfortable.” You leaned in, giving him a quick kiss as you took his hand. “Let’s go.”
The rest of Jensen’s autographs went exceedingly well. You stayed the entire time, as promised, never taking your hand off him. Some of the fans even asked for your signature, which you willingly gave along with a smile and a hug every time.
Jensen and Misha’s panel was where things got entertaining. You were both pretty drunk by that point in the day and when Jensen decided to open his pants and show Misha his underwear, you couldn’t control yourself anymore. Much to everyone’s surprise, you grabbed a mic and walked on to the stage, standing behind Misha and admiring the view. “It’s a roaring bear.” You explained to the crowd. “I saw them this morning and I just…”
“Yeah go ahead, Y/N. Tell ‘em what you did when you saw these.” Jensen raised an eyebrow as he buckled his belt again.
“I…you know what? I’m just gonna go…back behind here…” You moved back behind the table where the whiskey was, pouring drinks for yourself, Jensen, and Misha. “This is what I do. I bartend.” You nodded. “Continue. Don’t mind me.”
“C’mere!” Jensen extended his arm and you made your way to him, carrying all 3 drinks and passing Misha his. “Stay?”
“Ok.” You sighed in defeat. They started to bring out another chair for you as the audience roared with applause but Jensen waved them off.
“Nononono.” He shook his head. “She doesn’t need a chair!” He yelled, pulling you into his lap. “She’s got a leg.”
“This is disgusting.” Misha grimaced.
“Shut up.” Jensen and you both said, completely in sync with one another.
“I’m so screwed.” Misha chuckled to himself.
The panel continued much the same way. The three of you laughing and telling dirty jokes, neither Misha nor Jensen answering any questions, up until Jensen told the story of what happened in autographs earlier that day. He gave a tremendously heartfelt speech about what the fans meant to him and you found yourself wrapping him up in your arms again as he tried not to cry, pulling him close and nuzzling against him. “This one…she pulled me into a room and pulled me back together. I dunno what I’d do without her.” Jensen laughed.
“Steven would’ve saved you.” You picked the unicorn up off his chair and held him out for Jensen. “He loves you.”
“Fuck you, Steven.” Jensen muttered.
“Rude!” You gasped, pulling Steven against your chest. “He’s so coming home with us now.”
“I can’t believe you brought Steven.” Jensen grumbled on the plane. “He’s an annoying unicorn plushie.”
“You hate him therefore I adore him.” You shrugged.
“You know what else I can’t believe?” Jensen asked, pulling you close to him and running his hands up and down your bare arm. “You didn’t tell me you could sing. You just sprung that shit on me at Jailbreak.” You giggled softly with your head resting against his chest.
“Sorry. I talked to Briana about it and I kind of couldn’t resist. She gave me the courage for that. Well, Rob and Jason too I guess.”
“Wait.” Briana gawked at you, wide-eyed and in a bit of shock. “You sing and play guitar but Jensen has no idea?” Rob and Jason sat at the table with you, both of them staring at you with smiles on their faces.
“I don’t – well – not so much anymore.” You picked at the label on your beer bottle, turning the bottle in circles on the table. “I used to quite a bit as a way to make ends meet when I was bartending part time. Then I quit.”
“You’ve gotta sing tonight.” Jason practically begged. “It doesn’t have to be alone. It can be with the rest of us but you have to.”
“Please.” Rob begged. “He’ll freak out.”
“No. Absolutely not.” You shook your head. “There’s no way in hell.”
“Y/N.” Briana said firmly. “These people adore you already. They do not give a fuck that you’re not famous. If you go out there and sing tonight, Jensen is gonna be thrilled and that’s really all that matters.”
At the concert, you waited in the wings until Briana gave you the signal. They’d chosen Wagon Wheel for you to come out and you did. Jensen was surprised to see you there, but he thought you’d come just to be with him on stage. When it got to the part that Rich normally sang and you stepped forward to the microphone and opened your mouth, you heard Jensen scream beside you. You could see him practically fanboying over you and it melted your heart.
As soon as the song was over, he grabbed you in the most heated kiss you’d gotten from him to date, not caring that everyone was watching. “You didn’t fucking tell me you sang.”
“You didn’t ask.”
“I’m sending them all gift baskets.” Jensen mumbled sleepily. “As soon as we get off this plane.”
“Go to sleep, you dork.” You murmured. “We still have like 9 hours until we get home.”
“You’re coming back to my place when we get back, right? At least for the night?”
“Mmmhmm.”
“Baby, wake up.” Jensen whispered in your ear, kissing behind it. “We’re landing.”
“K.” You sighed, rubbing your hand over your face. Everything was hazy and weird, similar to how you felt the first day in Rome, but you managed to stagger off the plane.
Walking through the airport and out into the parking garage felt like you were trying to walk through molasses. Your legs were refusing to move the way you wanted them to and you could barely hold yourself up anymore. Your head had started to hurt, and all you wanted was to go home and crawl into bed. “Y/N?” Jensen had turned around when you had fallen several steps behind him, but you had failed to notice even that.
“Y/N? What’s wrong?” Jensen asked again. You finally looked up at him, aware that he was saying something but unsure what he was saying. A final wave of dizziness overtook you and sent you crashing to the ground, your entire world fading to black. Jensen closed the back of the SUV and dove forward, trying to catch you, but he wasn’t fast enough. Your face scraped the concrete, leaving a trail of blood trickling from your forehead to your cheek.
“I’ll call 9-1-1.” Jared said. “Gen, get the kids in the car so they don’t wake up and see her.” Gen nodded, somewhat frantic and hurried to buckle the kids inside the SUV before running back over and kneeling down beside you with Jensen and Jared.
“Come on, beautiful.” Jensen knelt down, tapping the side of your face that hadn’t been scraped. “Look at me, please. Open your eyes.” When your eyes started to roll back and flutter and your breaths became more ragged, Jensen scooped you up off the ground into his arms. “I’m taking her. The ambulance isn’t fast enough.”
Jared knew there was no arguing with Jensen and instead helped him by opening the back door to the SUV. As he started to lay you inside, the ambulance pulled into the parking garage. He took you to them instead, laying you gently on the stretcher. “Jens.” You murmured, reaching your hand out before losing consciousness again.
“Right here.” Jensen grabbed your hand and gave it a firm squeeze. “I’m right here.”
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