Ben792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQF0ArYJ6O
792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Ju2igAw9G
February 14, 2005
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Same day
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I see her across the room. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9nSjh3Gb4
792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRm6CkOZAI2
Of course I see her.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoX6fTHz1m8
I always see her.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN65hbJkMOi
And she's just as fucking beautiful as always. Maybe even more so.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4oAgmsy5I
Damn it.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHviF8y4HRE
I need to stop looking at her. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1hyms7U5f
This is fucking Valentine's Day. The Holiday for desperate chicks, so why the fuck am I sitting here alone?792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOlIeoQqYf
You already know the answer to that, you fucking idiot. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJG4UfwgSs
Damn it.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbONIK1amn
I scan the room for the thousandth time. My gaze lands on her, like it always does. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSwfi0XXrM
I want her so much, it physically hurts. I couldn't think about anyone else, even if I wanted to.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XlgvW0zl9
I don't want to. I want her, only her. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2X2iRdg5X9
But I fucked it up. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2VF6oVoql
792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCW3HTyLKd
Of course I fucked it up.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMYAqQoN6d
792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTf4OBWygkZ
Because I'm a fucking idiot.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVJ5cVbjOA
And now she really hates me. She's been avoiding me this whole time. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUXr54o6gD
It feels like a fucking knife in my chest every time I see her and she's not near me.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92rcMOVXtq
I need to touch her soft skin. I want to kiss her sexy lips. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfSau7r8yB
Can lips be sexy?792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10bOytsVly
I don't know, but hers are. Everything about her is perfect. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGntX95uRPz
I need her. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwGNDX04AP
A blonde approaches me, Karen, I think. Fuck, I don't know. Who cares. She pushes her arms up in an attempt to display more of her tits and any other time, I would have been interested.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuEtiFNUUG
It's feels like that was another life. Everything feels so different now.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThTq1nPl3F
"Hey Ben." She says my name like it's supposed to mean something, but I couldn't care less about what she wants.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8WxdQK9Li
Oh shit, I think I may have fooled around with her before. Maybe?792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQk5LFwAlR
"Hey, sorry, I gotta go. See you around." I stand quickly without a plan of where to go, but I figure I can hide from everyone in my room. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4c7gFjGJfb
Even her.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPTBWBn8cg
I close the door, locking everyone out and stumble to my bed in the dark. Shit, I drank too much trying to ignore the girl across the room. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1XdBb8df6
I feel something strange as I lay down...792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7vNgb20KI
I'm not alone. Fuck! Who the hell is in my bed?792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChCphltjmO
"Ben?" I hear her groggy voice and instantly relax. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGX4cO9DeEC
"Kat? What the fuck? You scared the hell out of me!" Why is she in my bed? Was she sleeping?792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcUdLucYrL
"What are you doing here?" Her confusion coming through her scratchy voice.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbxBAqoQt5
"What do you mean? In case you forgot, this is my room." I'm too amused to be irritated. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRM7iGfkAQ
"Oh." She seems to realize where she's at. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqxlXFs98n
"Oh." I chuckle. God, she's so fucking adorable.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8NrRPzBCJ
"Sorry." I can hear the embarrassment in her voice and even though I can't see her in the dark, I know she's blushing. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqfnH8mAIn
She moves, in a hurry to get up and probably run away from the asshole that I am. I need to make her stop. I don't want her to leave.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8WK26fYDL
"What are you doing in here, Kat?" I hope my question will be enough of a reason to stay at least a few minutes longer. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLSERhIviB
It's not. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZDLxLVyG6
She stands up quickly, just as a crash sounds through the room. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUPHOu1AMW
"Oh shit! Ben, I think I knocked something over." I can hear her scurry around, feeling for whatever it was.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvL7TZpXpwX
I laugh. Nothing in my room is that important. "Don't worry about it, Kat."792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOFROr0y8h
"Don't worry about it?!? I'm pretty sure there's broken glass down here!" She's frantically feeling around. She's going to get herself hurt.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQBGtTs8xf
"That's all the more reason to not feel around in the dark. Seriously, Kat. It's fine. Stop before you hurt yourself." I hear her sigh, but she stops her movement. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80VRG73MGF
"Now, tell me. What were you doing laying in my bed? Not that I'm complaining." Shit, that last part wasn't supposed to come out.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRX9L7P7uU
I feel the bed sink next to me as she sits down. "I just needed to... get away."792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrOilgrNPi
"I know the feeling." I sigh. What I don't say is I was mostly trying to get away from her.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSB95AqsBht
"You do? You know what it feels like for all you friends to be in happy relationships and worried about you and your sad pathetic life?" She lets out a huff. Damn. I was not expecting that.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0mp5j667Y
"Uh... Yes?" She gives a humorless chuckle and I can just see her eyes rolling. "Well, I mean, I kinda do. Actually. I guess I just never thought about it like that before."792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Qjcqzfr0V
"Oh." Well, that shut her up, which would usually be a good thing, but I'm not sure what the fuck to say.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pL46wwPIW
I decide to use this moment to beg for her forgiveness. "Listen, I just want to say, I am really sorry. For everything. I know you're not a fan of starting over, but do you think maybe you could forgive me?"792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdspl6ObRI
She scoffs. "Oh please, like its that easy. You don't even mean that."792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEpIpW9TWG
"I do too. More than anything. What can I do to make it up to you?" I would do just about anything she asks, I just hope she does forgive me.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtL5yfaigm
"Nothing. There's nothing... at... all... Wait! I have an idea." I can hear the smile in her voice. Oh shit, why do I feel so nervous?792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVBg3qlz3d
She keeps talking, not waiting for my response. "Okay! Just hear me out before you say anything. Okay?"792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7oOU3kyWm
Again, I couldn't get a word in before she barrels on. "Okay. So, I think we should date."792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIV3X4zvzIA
I can't stop the sound that erupts from my chest. It's somewhere between a laugh and a choking sound. I'm so in shock that my body has broken.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauYzHcDMH6
"I-uh... You-what?" Words. What are words? 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6C1hAyDJn
"Okay, before you shut me down." I wasn't going to. "It's not real. We can just pretend to date."792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0bwp25Igy
"Why the fuck would we do that?" Okay, now I'm really confused.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAaxcPy3Q7
"Because I really need this. And you said anything!" She throws my words back in my face.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCVP7iEz6e
I groan and rub my hands down my face. What the fuck did I just get myself in to? 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJANHA3OZl8
"Okay, okay. Just give me a minute... to... to..." To what? What the fuck is there to think about? I can't say no. "Just give me a minute to process... all of this."792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXo1AV2i2x
"Sure, take your time." I feel her shift on the bed as she lays down. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrLuRqjcU8
"Make yourself at home." I half joke, because I honestly don't mind her laying in my bed.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8N6zlIDmr
She just giggles, stretching out to get comfortable. Damn. I really missed that sound. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5s43SjUevK
I missed everything about her.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJdzNLj3Lt
I'm going to have to do this. Pretend to be with the girl that I can't stop thinking about. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wa0SB1fy6
Shouldn't be too hard to fake feelings, it's the keeping them fake part that's going to be a struggle. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCpJM40hPQ
"Why exactly do you need this?" I have a right to know why we are doing this, don't l?792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmebU5OEME5
She sighs. "Does it really matter?" 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYz9E9ZHxm
"Before I agree to your crazy scheme, I need to know why we are doing it in the first place." Why can't it just be real? Of course, I don't say that out loud because I'm a huge pussy.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKWk72tW17
"Okay, fair enough. Everyone has been treating me like I'm fragile since the whole... you know... happened." I lay down next to her on my back.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjbAhvJDlM
"The whole you know?" I'm completely confused. What the fuck is she talking about? 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzNu3zokh1
"You know... New Year's Eve?" She sounds embarrassed, but I still don't understand.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqfuH0DvVf
"Why would they treat you differently because of that?" Maybe I'm missing something?792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8Ha57exjL
"Uh... because of... what happened... with you." Shit. This is all because of me? 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLszSmO2EP
"Oh... I didn't... I didn't know." I can't believe she has been struggling and it's all my fault.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvg1ZArFa7
"So uhm... Yeah... They act like I'm going to break, so I'm sick of being pitied and worried about and I just want to be normal... And you can help with that. Two birds, one stone. You know?"792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXsFue7ljg
"Uh, am I the birds or the stones here?" I chuckle. She's so weird sometimes. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYtXOE6k2m
She laughs. "Well, I guess the stone."792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡValfX7HEr1
"Okay, so what are the birds?" I'm barely able to hold my laughter in to get the sentence out.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAISLrh8uN
"Wait. No. That's wrong. You're a bird!" She sounds excited, like she's made a huge discovery or something.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37rAiXgqu6
"So... I'm a bird now?" Seriously... She is the most adorable person I know.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0bAK2BKKH
"Okay, everyone is worried about me because they think you broke my heart or whatever. So, bird one is you. And everyone pities me because I'm single. So, being a pathetic loser is bird two."792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHIVaKWmwS
I turn on my side to face her. "You are not a pathetic loser." Completely ignoring the fact she said I broke her heart.792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvnz99IDpE
"I most certainly am. That's why I need this. If I can just throw the stone of our fake relationship at the birds, everything will be okay." Exhaustion fills her voice as she turns to face me. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOrOKgRltN
I can't help but notice we are only inches apart. I can feel her breath on my face. If I leaned forward a fraction of an inch, our noses would be touching. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJxUkx02qU
Shit. This is bad. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMcqEDS5dE
Faking it is going to be so hard. 792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQKj4xBlQi
"So... What do you say, Little Birdie? You in?" Her laugh echoing into the core of my being, reverberating and filling my chest.
I find her hand and pull it to my face, placing a kiss on it. "Let's throw that rock."792Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgTqsqHnpx
I am so fucked.
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