Kat686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VIP8Mtp7H
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBH1N6o4kE
January 1, 2005
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Same day
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686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJJDp7AWEO
"That's... not... I wasn't..." I try to explain, but now that the lust haze is gone, I am unable to rationalize my actions. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFJVPul7wY
Was that what I was doing? I wanted to stop thinking about everything and I figured with what I heard about Ben, he wouldn't complain. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hrjdf0Gqq
"Ugh... I'm such an idiot." I cover my face with my hands. I just want to get out of here. Laying next to him in my underwear after being rejected is so embarrassing. I need to leave.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNN15ydd3g
He pulls my hands away from my face. His eyes meeting mine. "No, you aren't. You are just hurting."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HLxshByMP
Is that it?686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtX21SugfHP
When I caught him with that whore, I was almost relieved. Maybe I'm just not processing my emotions properly... 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1OIcYp2Az
I should be devastated. I mean, I am really upset, but I feel more like I'm mourning the life I lost, not the person. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHcflcGDLp
I think he wanted to get caught. He probably hoped I would join in or something.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKo1ppk0iG
What a creep. How could I give so much to him? I cannot let myself get wrapped up in another man like that again. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKT1zXxMEX
I need to be strong. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFKdutxKFZ
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiEKZVG4hz
I need to be independent. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbKryQ42kn
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgOOVunbj0
I need to make better choices. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2u2gcHBeDW
I need to... not be here. Crap.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvrzQJwA2f
Ben makes me feel weak and vulnerable.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyPYZnovDj
But also powerful and wanted. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVvaLZL8Zy
Ugh... I am so confused. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbMLphhEUx
I do know that hopping from one guy literally onto another is not a good choice.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VxkwCv7u7
I also know that nothing casual can happen with my best friend's boyfriend's best friend. That would be all kinds of complicated. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqwMiSUcwH
Hopefully I haven't made things too awkward. Oh god, what if they get married? I will have to see him all the time. I will be reminded of this night forever.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dC7dYcpnO
He smirks, tucking my hair behind my ear. "There she is, the wheels are turning again." 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdXCkHXKnr
I can't help the laugh that bubbles up. I probably sound insane, but this night is all sorts of messed up. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuShskxXnz
His face lights up and his dimples emerge. Crap. His smile turns my insides to jelly.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEvRBlKSaQ
"Come on, Katarina, give the poor little hamster a break. Tell me your thoughts." He gives me a reassuring smile. I'm not sure I like him using my full name, it makes my heart flutter.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwq7zYSEg1
"I think..." I need a light topic. I just want to ignore my problems. "I think this has been the weirdest night."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9zy6xpnWE
He nods in agreement. "Weird good or weird bad?"686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RmgJ1QJIX
"Hah... Both?" I wince, knowing he's going to prod for more and I don't want to go any deeper.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ieLYYn3Gd
"I am going to have to agree with you." I was not expecting him to agree. "Although, I think yours had a bit more bad than mine." His hand caresses my cheek and I can't help but lean into his touch. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuDK47LZDJ
I am so weak. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwCuxwgFcF
"Hmm..." His touch is relaxing and I feel the day catching up with me. The emotions and tears taking their toll on my body. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sHD0dhCec
"You falling asleep on me, Kitty Kat?" I can hear the smile in his voice, but I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpORXHaD7l
"I am not a cat." I say, as sternly as I can muster, but it comes out weak. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgDfoRLd2m
"Meow." He chuckles at his own joke.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6mqAjDJDI
"You are so not funny." I mumble.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabwKAi8rNW
"Oh come on. You're no fun." He tries to tease me, but he doesn't realize just how accurate he is. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtOHc1vmDY
Maybe if I were more fun, things would be different. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJnaqXfP0Q
"If only you knew..." I snuggle into his hard chest, hoping he won't ask anymore questions. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6arSPRizYR
I know I should leave, but I just can't bring myself to part with him. I'm sure he's filling some void and I'm being pathetic, but he hasn't thrown me out yet.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxxw9IA3CO
In fact, he pulls me tighter. Resting his face in my hair. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MQ8P6G14T
"Don't worry, I will protect you." He whispers and as I drift off into oblivion, I actually believe him. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ179LL2zOzC
I awake to the sounds of muffled shouting. There is a heated argument somewhere nearby. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡem1ovN7XTt
When I try to move, I bump something hard with my elbow and freeze. I hear a groan and feel the bed move slightly. I am not alone.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Yh6Ol8z3O
Oh no. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrAC5DSK58
What did I do? 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvVAqjqNRv
Scanning the room, I realize I have no idea where I am or who could be behind me.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkc4Gme2mk
Unless Vanessa is having a really rough morning, that was definitely too deep to be her voice.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGIskZT38A
Crap. I am too afraid to look, who could it be? Bits and pieces from the night come to me, but not enough to piece together anything solid.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjYQLDMXNV
I remember crying at some point.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhyn7C6FaSz
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHU3BktiPU
I remember drinking more than I should have.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDb45twjse
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7mDccKwbk
I remember Vanessa being her usual self. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcK32H0shjP
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Od8Qeu9fr
I remember her new boy toy stuck to her side. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBW84gbBc0k
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKpmY6ZCnL
And I remember... Uh oh. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Te2UpkAHE
It couldn't be... I wouldn't... Would I?686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxM7g3SmU2
Am I really asking myself this after waking up next to some random guy? Well, maybe not so random...686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2HJTZbZx8
Oh god, this is all sorts of complicated. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfSLYHVzsg
Okay, I just have to know... I try to roll over gently, without disturbing him. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZvbspoPUp
I find a pair of amused green eyes staring back at me. A gorgeous grin with dimples on his stupid perfect face. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6RrgMtFkm
Crap. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjAl3CKkv3
I know I'm blushing hard, I can literally feel my face burning. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRaS5kCPOq
How did this happen?686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeCKr54DqT
"You done freaking out yet?" He asks with a chuckle. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQjet2ws3S
Is he... laughing at me? 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwwU5DQAj0
"Uh..." And just like that, he has short circuited the connection between my brain and mouth. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLWoLNr37r
"Don't panic." He talks softly, like I am some wild animal that might bite him.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwonUFrEiY
I am totally panicking. I just can't decide if I want to run out of the room or stay and figure out what exactly happened. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnZlXqOZlQ
My curiosity wins, just barely. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5Nie96XkT
"Nothing happened." I must look really confused, because he feels the need to explain further. "We didn't have sex."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd72uzj5lzb
"Oh..." I'm not sure if I should be relieved or hurt that he was naked laying next to me.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFmCZycQux
Nope. Not letting my mind go there.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxbZs0ajYc
I choose to feel relief. I wouldn't have remembered it anyway. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhY3XvflU3v
"Not for lack of you trying, of course." He flashes a cocky smirk at me. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnXcY6dNZV
I feel a frown tugging at the corners of my mouth, despite my attempt to keep my face neutral. No, I didn't throw myself at him, did I? 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSqqZpezln
I vaguely remember waking up and thinking I heard my name through the wall and then... 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQzcTlF9gX
"No way... I... Oh god!" My eyes pop open so wide, they begin to hurt.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX75khlNzCf
Crap. Did I really climb on top of him? Yep, I was totally grinding on him.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnyDtryr3H
I gasp, my gaze running down his body before I can stop myself. I take in his muscles, but his bottom half is covered in a sheet. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvOuB94AjD
His eyes meet mine. "Reminiscing?" 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvSfMkE0DX
"What! No!" My voice is too high and rushed to be convincing. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4obBrdZNhv
I remember licking his defined chest.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7XRx18p0s
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtyxHUsCZv
I remember... 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQkgq0IA2S
he was naked!686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTs3tyesoJ
I inwardly groan. I totally touched him. I know how big he is and... 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeuXQoVZn5
Oh god! I know how he tastes. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsGGVwn3qv
"Shit." I know it's inelegant, but I can't think of anything else to say.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXysX6OUN52
His mouth pops open as his face twists in shock. "Did you just... I can't believe you just said shit!" 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDkq3BemWx
"What? Why not?" I sit up, feeling defensive. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6Xbe4Bsya
Why is he so shocked? He barely knows me. Why does he assume this? Did I say something weird last night?686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYzfaRKnUD
"You seemed kinda offended when I cussed, so I guess I just assumed..." He looks shy, almost like he was caught doing something wrong.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2URVuMIBc
"Based on?" Sure, I don't make a habit of using curse words, but it's more an ingrained reflex than an actual choice. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBaY7jJCrQ
He hesitates, like he's afraid to say and I begin to feel slightly nervous. Crap, what did I say?686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHLOVwgepb
"You... uh... kinda flinched." He blushes and looks around the room. Insecure Ben is totally adorable. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTA6IfBXaK
"Oh." I'm honestly not sure how to respond because I definitely can't tell him the truth. "Well, I wasn't offended."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs52SwRehvF
"Okay." He blows out a breath, looking up at the ceiling. "If you say so." 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLv2DJmagq
He looks completely unconvinced but I can't give him more than that. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxK5JhpUi0
"So." He clears his throat. "Not to be totally awkward here..." His gaze drops to the tent of his crotch before his eyes scan the floor. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJ2dsRdQGB
"And not that I would mind laying in bed with you all day." He looks down my body and winks. "But, maybe we should get dressed?"686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhuBjFWDG4
I look down at myself, just now realizing I'm sitting here in lacy underwear. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaxRsu4h37
When I don't respond, Ben flashes his smile. "Or not, I mean you look great." 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrMpFsb8g6
I am unable to hide the look of shock on my face before I snatch the sheet to cover myself. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8FQM4kUAh
Which is no longer covering "Little Ben", if you can even call it that.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjFhkv5xH0
Oops.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAc5cRxRik
Of course that would happen to me! I take a moment to look at it in the daylight and wow, it's like a sculpture. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkI9ULOpJl
Unable to stop myself, I have apparently lost my filter completely around this man. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl72yRbvV01
"Well hello, Big Ben." I try not to giggle like an immature school girl, but Ben's laugh makes me laugh harder. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaN96NSAZbN
"Big Ben, huh?" He grins, making my stomach flutter. He shakes his head, amused. "What am I going to do with you?"686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sT51yD6XJ
My mouth goes dry as my mind conjures up all kinds of things he could do to me. It feels like all the air was sucked out of the room as I struggle to control my breathing. Is it hot in here, or is it just me?686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6aEhViAGW
My gaze returns to "Big Ben", as it seems to grow, straining to reach me. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTB4IgDECo
Prying my eyes away, I meet his green gaze. He's no longer grinning or teasing, in fact, it looks like he's in pain. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSFcZJxWfW
"So, you like what you see?" His eyes never leaving mine. I try to close my mouth and steady my breathing. I need to keep my composure, but my head nods without my approval. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5jEEjw9lo
I lick my lips, remembering last night. I can't get my mouth to form words.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXxdF521TG
"Because I wouldn't mind seeing a little more." He reaches forward, tugging down the sheet. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsnzIpg2Wt
He sucks in a breath. "Fuck, Kat."686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXASyz3Ufen
I close my eyes, my insides turning to liquid fire. I love his cussing, like he can't control himself. Maybe it's because of my background and it makes him seem like such a bad boy, but it turns me on, like crazy.686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJR7M1aNsP
He caresses my breasts through the sheer fabric. "God damn, you are beautiful." 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwHNmlKBkF
I absorb his words as another wave of lust hits me. I know this is a bad idea. I know we should not be doing this, but I'm not sure I could stop it, even if I wanted to. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Gmouzb6Rq
His hands move down my body as his mouth meets mine. His kiss is hungry and desperate and I can't get enough. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyNgzwfufM
His hand grazes me where I'm aching and I nearly explode. I need him. Now. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMALj3DDRz
"Do you have a condom?" He has to have one in here somewhere, right?686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTRtSazv07
He blushes and looks slightly uncomfortable. "Actually..." We both freeze as the sound of yelling grows closer. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzvt9IdoQu
I pull the sheet up to cover myself just as the door bursts open. All I see Vanessa's fiery hair flying around as she takes the scene before her. "What the fucking fuck is fucking going on in here?" 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvrjyxpToS
I know her well enough to know when she can't think, she drops f-bombs. Her gaze drops to Ben's crotch, before he grabs a corner of the sheet to cover himself. 686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUUEKspCv5
I can't help the laughter that bursts out of me at the sight of her craziness. "Calm yourself, Vanessa."
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