Ben288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnw0v50ubp
February 19, 2005
How the fuck am I supposed to fix this?
I figured there would be some push back, especially by Red, maybe even Nate, but I did not expect this.
I can literally see Kat's hope fading from her eyes. I have to fix this.
Before I can even open my mouth, I hear Kat's meek voice from beside me.
"Ness, I understand you're concern, but-" I can't help but wonder what Kat was about to say.
"You understand my concern? My concern? Seriously, Kat?" The Red Serpent hisses her venomous response.
"Yes, as I was saying, I understand your concern, but-" Kat again tries to finish her statement, but Red isn't having it.
But Ben is awesome? But you're right, Ben is a total tool? But I'm still going to pretend to date him?
Damn, I almost forgot this wasn't real.
I forgot, I'm not the good guy, I don't get the girl in the end. She's the light and I'm the dark. I'm messed up and she's fucking perfect.
It would be like Darth Vader ending up with Princess Leia, you know, minus the being related thing.
Gross. Weird thought, dude.
"Stop saying that! You obviously don't understand my concern." Watch out Kat, you are about to get bit.
"I didn't say anything when you started dating Nate and he was just as bad, if not worse than Ben." Kat actually has a point, but I have a feeling her friend is going to retaliate.
We are all in the danger zone.
"You know what?" The fire in Red's eyes is replaced with hurt and shock.
She wasn't expecting her friend to defend me... Or to stand up to her.
Oh no, what the fuck did I do?
This isn't retaliation, this is surrender.
"What?" Kat rolls her eyes, waiting for more fight.
No, Kat, stop. You are about to push your best friend away. Please stop.
For once in your life, please hear the thoughts that I'm sending your way.
"Do whatever the fuck you want with whoever the fuck you want. You know why?" She doesn't wait for Kat's response. "Because I. Don't. Fucking. Care. Anymore."
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Kat sucks in a breath as she jumps up from the booth, running for the door.
I jump up chasing after her, leaving Nate's protests behind. "Low blow, dude." I know, I know. It was, but she wasn't exactly wrong.
"Remember the bro code." Nate's voice reaches me again before I can get out the door.
Oh right, the code which he ignored earlier for a chance to get into Red's pants.
Yeah, I don't think I will be following it either, bro.
I push the door open, but Kat's nowhere to be seen.
Where did she go?
I can't go back in. I have no idea how I could get into Kat's dorm room.
I have no fucking clue.
Maybe I should just go home and give up on this shitty day. Of course, when I try to help someone, all hell breaks loose. Why did I expect any different?
It's me. I'm a fuck up.
I decide to walk home since I'm not that far away... and I can't remember how much I drank, which I think is a bad sign.
I call her as I walk, but of course no answer.
The night air is cool, sending a shiver down my back, despite my leather jacket. I wonder how Kat got home and if she's cold in her little dress.
Maybe I should text her, just to make sure she gets home. Of course.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that. Idiot.
I press send before I can talk myself out of it, or apparently proofread it.
Me: Sis toy male it gone?
Shit. Maybe I'm more drunk than I thought.
I'm going to blame the fucking cold. I can barely move my fingers.
Yep, just the cold. Has nothing to do with the blurry screen.
Nope. That's probably just the cold too, freezing my eyeballs, or something.
Let's try this again. I rub my hands together, willing my fingers to work this time.
My phone buzzes in my hands. Oh god, she is going to give me so much shit.
Nate-dog: Wat the fuck dude?
Did I send that text to him? Before I can figure anything out, my annoying phone buzzes against my hand again.
Nate-dog: Not cool bro.
Me: You know what's not cool, bro. You not having my back at all tonight.
Nate-dog: U no wat, u r right. Guess we r both shitty bros.
God, it drives me crazy when people use letters and numbers to replace words. How lazy is that?
Thinking back on our brief texting history, I don't think Kat has ever abbreviated anything. Huh.
Me: Guess so. Are we good now?
Nate-dog: Course man. Later.
Me: Glad to hear it. Enjoy your night, buddy.
Whew. That went better than expected.
And I'm home. Thank fuck.
I'm so fucking wiped. I just want to crash. My bed is calling me.
I still haven't heard from Kat. Maybe I'll try another text since my fingers are warming up.
Me: Ignore the last text. Did you make it home?
As soon as I hit send, I hear a ding from within the darkness of my room.
"Kat?" Please let it be her.
Please, please, please.
"Ben?" She sounds groggy.
"Hey, Beautiful. Did you fall asleep?" I smile to myself, since she can't see me.
"What took you so long?" She croaks out. Maybe I should have brought some water.
"I walked home. What are you doing here?" I try to say it as delicately as possible, I don't want her to get the wrong idea and bolt...
I turn on the lamp next to the bed, needing to see her beautiful face.
"I didn't want to go back to our dorm room." I didn't even think about the fact that they share a dorm room. That would suck.
"Yeah, I get it." I try to reassure her, but honestly I don't get it.
I can't even imagine not having my own room. Back home, our house is so big, I barely even saw my brother. I can't imagine sharing a room with a complete stranger.
"How did you get so lucky?" I know she's referring to my living situation, but I can't resist.
"Well, you see, I went to meet Nate for drinks and this redhead was with him again, but this time she brought her friend." I smirk.
"Ben." She glares at me, but I'm not stopping.
"She was just so beautiful glaring at me across the table, a lot like you are right now, it was hard to resist my little hurricane." She doesn't believe me, but I mean every word.
"You know that's not what I meant." She pretends to be annoyed, but I know secretly she likes it.
"Well, it was the luckiest day of my life. What else could you be talking about?" She rolls her eyes, but I can tell even in this low light that I made her blush.
My words affect her, whether she wants to admit it or not.
"I mean, how did you manage to live off-campus? Freshman aren't allowed." She huffs, folding her arms across her chest.
Not that I'm looking. Nope, not at all.
"Oh, Nate's dad is on the board and we got 'special permission'." I use air quotes to emphasize the bullshit term the school used.
"This house is pretty big." Hah. My mind totally just went in the gutter.
"It's not the only thing that's big." I smirk, proud of my lame ass innuendo.
She scoffs. "Are you calling me fat?"
I chuckle at her quick wit. "You bet, sugar butt."
She sticks her tongue out at me. God, she's adorable.
"Are you five?" I know it's lame, but I can't help it when I'm around her.
I feel like I can finally be myself.
With her, I'm free.
"Five and a half, thank you very much." Her smug smile is so cute.
I can't help but laugh. It seems like all I do around her.
"How did you guys get this place?" Her laughter fading.
I give her a look. "Seriously?"
"Oh right, I forget you guys are rich." She gives me a sideways glance.
"We aren't rich, our parents are. Nate's dad gave him this place as an 'investment in his future' or some bullshit." I didn't care what the reason was, as long as I got to live here.
"How is this investing in his future, exactly?" I asked Nate the exact same question.
"Well, he expects Nate to rent out all the rooms, to make a profit, but we kinda like it the way it is now. His dad is too busy to realize. It works out." Maybe I shouldn't be so honest, but something about her makes me want to spill all my secrets.
"And what happens when he notices?" She challenges.
"He won't. He's like my dad, they don't notice much that isn't work related." Her face twists into a frown.
Shit. I've made her sad.
"That must be hard, for both of you." The look on her face makes me wish I hadn't said anything.
"It is what it is. They were building an empire, after all." I shrug, trying to avoid talking about this. To be honest, it's very hard, but I don't tell anyone that.
"You don't have to lie, Ben. That would be hard for anyone." I'm not sure how to respond, no one had ever called me on this before.
I sigh. "You want the truth?"
"Always." Her smile returns, but I know it won't last.
Here goes nothing.288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1htH9YKnJKns 188.8.131.52da2