Ben837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1iWBZpftd
837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfbSILvFa2
February 14, 2005
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Same day
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I see her across the room. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8lyE3LbjP
837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiTiiIS1D8
Of course I see her.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBut6x5vSY
I always see her.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagqYDNZPxP
And she's just as fucking beautiful as always. Maybe even more so.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dznwrDV0E
Damn it.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzpQ8J2puT
I need to stop looking at her. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnuL1W38uag
This is fucking Valentine's Day. The Holiday for desperate chicks, so why the fuck am I sitting here alone?837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMmJjmllSz
You already know the answer to that, you fucking idiot. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8HvdNhFr9
Damn it.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEi5PrW5sk
I scan the room for the thousandth time. My gaze lands on her, like it always does. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90pSwUV3P5
I want her so much, it physically hurts. I couldn't think about anyone else, even if I wanted to.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn60KFsSodf
I don't want to. I want her, only her. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HOxNVI1xe
But I fucked it up. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAkmNTxBgJ
837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZflVAv4oaG
Of course I fucked it up.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Qs0uRvBGh
837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zclEsTHaM
Because I'm a fucking idiot.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhIxZLdiI5
And now she really hates me. She's been avoiding me this whole time. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvLGFLl8mW
It feels like a fucking knife in my chest every time I see her and she's not near me.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW626FWimyy
I need to touch her soft skin. I want to kiss her sexy lips. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFOo5kV5FR
Can lips be sexy?837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfN0OXapyFO
I don't know, but hers are. Everything about her is perfect. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9ZJMPjpRu
I need her. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmQQA97yJy
A blonde approaches me, Karen, I think. Fuck, I don't know. Who cares. She pushes her arms up in an attempt to display more of her tits and any other time, I would have been interested.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPK8jq15sr
It's feels like that was another life. Everything feels so different now.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6LuV7sGQ0
"Hey Ben." She says my name like it's supposed to mean something, but I couldn't care less about what she wants.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QsqCvxEUn
Oh shit, I think I may have fooled around with her before. Maybe?837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaWBGBzZyC
"Hey, sorry, I gotta go. See you around." I stand quickly without a plan of where to go, but I figure I can hide from everyone in my room. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcw53qY4oK4
Even her.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡariin2SvyQ
I close the door, locking everyone out and stumble to my bed in the dark. Shit, I drank too much trying to ignore the girl across the room. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXKx5zSm7z
I feel something strange as I lay down...837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYl8UuPR9X
I'm not alone. Fuck! Who the hell is in my bed?837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZGjmnxbfS
"Ben?" I hear her groggy voice and instantly relax. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VCUqU4nXr
"Kat? What the fuck? You scared the hell out of me!" Why is she in my bed? Was she sleeping?837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuQaT2bBEY
"What are you doing here?" Her confusion coming through her scratchy voice.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZkHiahaex
"What do you mean? In case you forgot, this is my room." I'm too amused to be irritated. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYjQVHEEPt
"Oh." She seems to realize where she's at. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iw36QNk6w
"Oh." I chuckle. God, she's so fucking adorable.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1f0kztMmd
"Sorry." I can hear the embarrassment in her voice and even though I can't see her in the dark, I know she's blushing. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLE0vkM5dea
She moves, in a hurry to get up and probably run away from the asshole that I am. I need to make her stop. I don't want her to leave.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77qsDUXf4j
"What are you doing in here, Kat?" I hope my question will be enough of a reason to stay at least a few minutes longer. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlTlbtrOAB
It's not. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nlAgr21EW
She stands up quickly, just as a crash sounds through the room. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rG3GHu1N7
"Oh shit! Ben, I think I knocked something over." I can hear her scurry around, feeling for whatever it was.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKafhcX5cka
I laugh. Nothing in my room is that important. "Don't worry about it, Kat."837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcicNEUgigK
"Don't worry about it?!? I'm pretty sure there's broken glass down here!" She's frantically feeling around. She's going to get herself hurt.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzIncqKhXK
"That's all the more reason to not feel around in the dark. Seriously, Kat. It's fine. Stop before you hurt yourself." I hear her sigh, but she stops her movement. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5lFvBeZq6
"Now, tell me. What were you doing laying in my bed? Not that I'm complaining." Shit, that last part wasn't supposed to come out.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxesBQdCOw
I feel the bed sink next to me as she sits down. "I just needed to... get away."837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtoolSttrW
"I know the feeling." I sigh. What I don't say is I was mostly trying to get away from her.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIyUCLaww3
"You do? You know what it feels like for all you friends to be in happy relationships and worried about you and your sad pathetic life?" She lets out a huff. Damn. I was not expecting that.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhu5nlbqmo
"Uh... Yes?" She gives a humorless chuckle and I can just see her eyes rolling. "Well, I mean, I kinda do. Actually. I guess I just never thought about it like that before."837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbHfoibCe7
"Oh." Well, that shut her up, which would usually be a good thing, but I'm not sure what the fuck to say.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN68BugwKmz
I decide to use this moment to beg for her forgiveness. "Listen, I just want to say, I am really sorry. For everything. I know you're not a fan of starting over, but do you think maybe you could forgive me?"837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MnpBEAOLu
She scoffs. "Oh please, like its that easy. You don't even mean that."837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUtzNxnCLS
"I do too. More than anything. What can I do to make it up to you?" I would do just about anything she asks, I just hope she does forgive me.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18GmMJJiTw
"Nothing. There's nothing... at... all... Wait! I have an idea." I can hear the smile in her voice. Oh shit, why do I feel so nervous?837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU69IjrQuN7
She keeps talking, not waiting for my response. "Okay! Just hear me out before you say anything. Okay?"837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNlIXsCH9F
Again, I couldn't get a word in before she barrels on. "Okay. So, I think we should date."837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBdIdBhV7V
I can't stop the sound that erupts from my chest. It's somewhere between a laugh and a choking sound. I'm so in shock that my body has broken.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2sWBDk6vX
"I-uh... You-what?" Words. What are words? 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwBSRveJdh
"Okay, before you shut me down." I wasn't going to. "It's not real. We can just pretend to date."837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMb8dnwZrB
"Why the fuck would we do that?" Okay, now I'm really confused.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7IThiTNeq
"Because I really need this. And you said anything!" She throws my words back in my face.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zSWx20I6H
I groan and rub my hands down my face. What the fuck did I just get myself in to? 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvj142GO31
"Okay, okay. Just give me a minute... to... to..." To what? What the fuck is there to think about? I can't say no. "Just give me a minute to process... all of this."837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwMbNI36PC
"Sure, take your time." I feel her shift on the bed as she lays down. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqvk4oi3TY
"Make yourself at home." I half joke, because I honestly don't mind her laying in my bed.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWUJGisH9L
She just giggles, stretching out to get comfortable. Damn. I really missed that sound. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMRMmUl1bI
I missed everything about her.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbsMvnH3Ny
I'm going to have to do this. Pretend to be with the girl that I can't stop thinking about. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5he7br9omK
Shouldn't be too hard to fake feelings, it's the keeping them fake part that's going to be a struggle. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5hiYxZk0o
"Why exactly do you need this?" I have a right to know why we are doing this, don't l?837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigeTF12vEL
She sighs. "Does it really matter?" 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXbmrhCBLj
"Before I agree to your crazy scheme, I need to know why we are doing it in the first place." Why can't it just be real? Of course, I don't say that out loud because I'm a huge pussy.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqWCyzKE5H
"Okay, fair enough. Everyone has been treating me like I'm fragile since the whole... you know... happened." I lay down next to her on my back.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2Crio3crM
"The whole you know?" I'm completely confused. What the fuck is she talking about? 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLxd63UMVW
"You know... New Year's Eve?" She sounds embarrassed, but I still don't understand.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAjrnCn6VU
"Why would they treat you differently because of that?" Maybe I'm missing something?837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURIwWQ9EF0
"Uh... because of... what happened... with you." Shit. This is all because of me? 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAAvLHitLz
"Oh... I didn't... I didn't know." I can't believe she has been struggling and it's all my fault.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdv2IIYqImx
"So uhm... Yeah... They act like I'm going to break, so I'm sick of being pitied and worried about and I just want to be normal... And you can help with that. Two birds, one stone. You know?"837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlzeuaWtDT
"Uh, am I the birds or the stones here?" I chuckle. She's so weird sometimes. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknNWcOV3Qp
She laughs. "Well, I guess the stone."837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oTRpmZM1N
"Okay, so what are the birds?" I'm barely able to hold my laughter in to get the sentence out.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguIdzrnOKH
"Wait. No. That's wrong. You're a bird!" She sounds excited, like she's made a huge discovery or something.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUkXc9dgpv
"So... I'm a bird now?" Seriously... She is the most adorable person I know.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡle9uswTZPA
"Okay, everyone is worried about me because they think you broke my heart or whatever. So, bird one is you. And everyone pities me because I'm single. So, being a pathetic loser is bird two."837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbTAGRFyUD
I turn on my side to face her. "You are not a pathetic loser." Completely ignoring the fact she said I broke her heart.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPKI87eYX6
"I most certainly am. That's why I need this. If I can just throw the stone of our fake relationship at the birds, everything will be okay." Exhaustion fills her voice as she turns to face me. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaGhPustVn
I can't help but notice we are only inches apart. I can feel her breath on my face. If I leaned forward a fraction of an inch, our noses would be touching. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmTo6oiYKY
Shit. This is bad. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQ8BUBoNNO
Faking it is going to be so hard. 837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0fqEkcV6K
"So... What do you say, Little Birdie? You in?" Her laugh echoing into the core of my being, reverberating and filling my chest.
I find her hand and pull it to my face, placing a kiss on it. "Let's throw that rock."837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL22TUlYaO6
I am so fucked.
ns216.73.216.176da2
