我的身邊,有許多愛講垃圾話的人。310Please respect copyright.PENANAO0x8nzWmUU
多虧他們,我每天都很歡樂,笑到腹肌都快成形了。310Please respect copyright.PENANAxQpiLjYRWS
-310Please respect copyright.PENANApjhDwk1Qac
(1)310Please respect copyright.PENANAoFXvwhsg6G
我和魏兄、嬛嬛是大學時代社團認識的朋友,剛認識便一拍即合,後來也成了異姓乾兄妹,雖說魏兄比我們倆都還小,但我和嬛嬛硬是認了他當乾兄,原因無他,單純只是我們想當妹妹而已。310Please respect copyright.PENANAFM0LK8OOmL
310Please respect copyright.PENANA11WusZcZtv
我們三人有個共同群組,名稱為魏氏兄妹,光看群組名稱就知道我們有多硬要當魏兄的妹妹了,都直接隨他的姓了呢。310Please respect copyright.PENANAtQG4tYz1tO
310Please respect copyright.PENANAq0uzDrDBxr
但其實,我們不常聊天,我們就是屬於那種不常聯絡的朋友,但只要一聯絡,便能迅速熱絡起來,是那種真正的好朋友。不過,聊天內容大概都是以各種垃圾話、各種白痴對話居多就是了。310Please respect copyright.PENANAGR7aJYOc2D
310Please respect copyright.PENANAnlppYYR5vz
某日,夜晚。310Please respect copyright.PENANAlwMQTQgYyj
魏兄傳來一張照片,並說:「我有跟你們說我遇到麻吉大哥嗎?」310Please respect copyright.PENANADCrJXNhjNW
照片是他與麻吉大哥黃立成的合照,麻吉大哥搭著魏兄的肩,而魏兄卻摟著他;麻吉大哥一臉燦笑,但魏兄的臉卻被打上馬賽克。310Please respect copyright.PENANAHAR7GpzDqv
嬛嬛:「……為何要把臉塗掉?」310Please respect copyright.PENANAy0tflOXIbd
魏兄:「因為我那天早起臉水腫……,所以馬掉了。」310Please respect copyright.PENANAzIgWLpoQUR
嬛嬛:「你幹嘛偷摟人家!」310Please respect copyright.PENANAiYo74ruFyg
魏兄:「因為我是小迷弟。」310Please respect copyright.PENANAsvDmEqS9fW
嬛嬛笑道:「根本就是吃豆腐XD」310Please respect copyright.PENANAUPGrce4szw
魏兄不理會,他接著說:「我大聲喊:『麻吉大哥底堆底堆』,他跳出來喊:『麻吉大哥底加底加』,然後我們就合照了。」310Please respect copyright.PENANAKX6D3SZBLw
……310Please respect copyright.PENANAydmQmW8BfS
嬛嬛表示傻眼,送了一張「我的老天鵝啊」的貼圖。310Please respect copyright.PENANA1UFaKGwLF7
接著他倆開始各種貼圖戰。310Please respect copyright.PENANA8YE9aBs5DQ
最後戰績,魏兄勝,嬛嬛敗。310Please respect copyright.PENANAzByh5BVtV0
310Please respect copyright.PENANAU5BXLCGHj6
回家後我才看見群組內的訊息,笑到差點從椅子跌落,魏兄這說屁話的等級可是愈練愈高了啊。310Please respect copyright.PENANAtMYmCVaEm8
不過幸好,我們都習慣了,免疫了。310Please respect copyright.PENANADbIecADNRw
310Please respect copyright.PENANAFYI6Crj0tf
同時我心中也感到萬分可惜,可惜啊,可恨啊,沒參加到魏氏兄妹第87次貼圖戰!310Please respect copyright.PENANAToeMc7K0dI
-310Please respect copyright.PENANALCsFY63iVN
(2)310Please respect copyright.PENANAFWCGPwvfqb
其實我和我的室友們,也都很愛說垃圾話。310Please respect copyright.PENANAbrIt1Z9b2s
310Please respect copyright.PENANAWNL0eBFHNo
例一:310Please respect copyright.PENANAdrKDAtkCqZ
某日,小雪發了一張限時動態,內容是與她住在同一棟樓的麻甜柚,在端午佳節時送了一顆粽子給她,小雪表示麻甜柚很貼心。310Please respect copyright.PENANAIWh2EfR9V6
310Please respect copyright.PENANAo6aOuc2rDq
我看見後,立馬私訊小雪:「請不要公然向我老公示愛。」310Please respect copyright.PENANAYhHvxtFblv
小雪回覆:「近水樓臺先得月,抱歉囉。」又補充道:「You out.」310Please respect copyright.PENANAQ2cKftHRtH
我:「……」310Please respect copyright.PENANAjNwzinA44A
最後,我只好傳了大概十多個表示憤怒的emoji給她,結束這回合。310Please respect copyright.PENANA0Yfc1KDlTM
310Please respect copyright.PENANAltDQ8C7nku
例二:310Please respect copyright.PENANAVUI4Ep3lGk
又某日,我和Elsa閒聊話家常中。310Please respect copyright.PENANAggqJ7yJL3K
Elsa:「最近我爸媽去大陸,公司的電話都我接。」310Please respect copyright.PENANAe0o7kj2TQr
我:「哦?所以你現在是你們家公司公關的概念?」310Please respect copyright.PENANAeEOVPIbK0P
Elsa奸笑:「不,我現在是公司老闆的概念。」310Please respect copyright.PENANAxBDSF2DWlv
她又說:「是可以捅簍子的概念。」310Please respect copyright.PENANA8okcCSIVVc
我:「……」310Please respect copyright.PENANAwn0OPny40U
這位姐姐啊,你爸媽要是知道你這麼說,會哭死的啊。310Please respect copyright.PENANAnfP4eT8CTh
310Please respect copyright.PENANACic7qX58yL
例三:310Please respect copyright.PENANA4jqQH1Qnzi
再某日,我和麻甜柚在討論著把畢業花束製作成乾燥花的事。310Please respect copyright.PENANA1W0hURgocZ
麻甜柚憂心道:「我覺得乾燥花可能做不起來欸,我的正往枯萎邁進。」310Please respect copyright.PENANAPWXdurRhoz
我亦憂心道:「我是比較怕它發霉。」310Please respect copyright.PENANAXm0JgTqin1
麻甜柚突然一個激靈,說:「我覺得它草味很重耶!」310Please respect copyright.PENANAzqutsN9rLu
正當我想起身,去聞聞那吊掛在冷氣機下的花束時,看見她又發來一個訊息。310Please respect copyright.PENANA2MjeafFz6l
她說:「我還以為我在養蠶寶寶。」310Please respect copyright.PENANAkX13Spc10q
……310Please respect copyright.PENANAU1zAag8wbW
我二話不說,立刻起身去聞我那花束。310Please respect copyright.PENANAajDNRn8zCU
還好啊,蠻香的啊!310Please respect copyright.PENANANeNxclPqgx
難不成……我是蠶寶寶?310Please respect copyright.PENANA4g9z5NotMt
-310Please respect copyright.PENANAcbGNCYaXDb
好啦,每日說點垃圾話,有益身心健康。310Please respect copyright.PENANAFMbzuXAKhQ