《請跟我交往！拜託啦！》 - 第一章體育課！

大家好，我叫柳困，今年十七歲，是一個看似普通的正常高中生。

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不過，我卻擁有一個不尋常的秘密──我仍然保有前世的記憶。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlh6t5e3lVb
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不對，不只前世……就連前前世、前前前世、前前前前世都還記憶猶新。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxp9LzPKdeo
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問我為什麼？415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAr3cdmePR
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原因很簡單。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWo9qkO76l
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因為我是個單身狗。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4MSbzRJYy
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在死後的世界，也就是「魂界」，神曾經立下一個規定：要談過戀愛，才能在轉生前消除前世的記憶。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4gka6tVmb
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「沒談過戀愛怎麼能算是活過啊？」那一天，神斜坐在王座上，興高采烈地宣布，「從今天開始，到死前還沒談過戀愛的，一律不准清除自己的記憶！」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCMIl8O6ft
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從那之後，世間開始不時出現保留著前世記憶的神童，他們也都成功地在重生後談了場轟轟烈烈的戀愛，並在死後轉生前順利清除了自己的記憶。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAs4bpHBpH
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除了我以外。

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「喂，我說你啊，」在再次轉生到人間，成為柳困之前，神把我拉到魂界的角落，用責備但幸災樂禍的語氣對我說，「你要加油欸，你已經連續單身了十輩子了，學弟妹全都畢業了，就只剩你一個人還卡在這裡，不覺得羞恥嗎？」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5aVj4JkK4
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「少囉唆！」我惱怒道，「妳也不想想到底是誰的問題！」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlu4wOwVJ5
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「哎呀哎呀，現在是怪我囉？」神擺出無辜的表情。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSznp6eeX8
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「這輩子！我這輩子一定會脫單的！」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdG5Dlp32LM
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「你上次也是這麼說。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlf7f3bt9CJ
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「閉嘴！才沒有！」我面紅耳赤，不等祂說完就直接跳進轉生之門。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRQzcdFDti
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在那之後的十六年後，我進入高中，開始體驗人生中的第十一次青春期。我準備好要應付戀愛這場激烈的戰爭，也希望自己能在這一次的青春期成功脫魯。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYrTHVJkOC
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這個想法，只持續到進入教室的那一刻，遇見「她」為止。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVSdA5hBEA
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「柳困！該起床了啊！」一陣衝擊襲向趴在桌上的我，我一個重心不穩隨著椅子整個人倒在教室冰涼的地板上。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1hnUB5104
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「妳搞什麼啊！」我抱怨，起身拍掉制服上沾到的灰塵，「現在不是還在午休時間嗎？」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sGtODoYtH
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「才不是，這節是外堂課欸。」說話的是一位臉頰微微泛紅的女學生。她的右腳舉著，明顯就是剛把我踹下椅子的樣子。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOk9bKi8fT
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我默默的翻白眼，但是沒有回嘴，避免招來一頓拳頭。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofOqUlwj1O
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我轉頭看了看四周，同學們都走光了，只剩下空蕩的桌椅。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBO0clgpVa
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「走囉，體育課。」女學生紅著臉帶頭走出教室，我則跟在她後面。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnin9PvWvO
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什麼？你說她看起來就像是對我有意思，問我為什麼不跟她交往就好了？415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuZaltNIKb
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我們再次回到剛剛的話題。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UVhrixA9p
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在高一時，我遇見了「她」。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSt4P7FARs
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她有著一頭紫色的長直髮，看到人總是臉頰泛紅，一副害羞的表情，還擁有一個美麗的名字：賴妍。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5U42MZPQBg
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剛開始，全班的男學生都急著對賴妍獻殷勤，不過到了下學期的時候對她告白的人卻只剩下其他班的學生。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zpXVhkruT
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原因很單純：因為這個人很恐怖。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckTpGKgVaO
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恐怖到甚至被取了「瘋狗」這個外號。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBPVwvruk8
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至於一天到晚臉頰泛紅的原因也不是因為「為了要操控他人」這種複雜的理由，而是因為「酒精」。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEcLT1EdDx
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賴妍是我在到目前為止的十一個人生裡面，見過唯一一個可以在午餐時間拿整瓶五十度烈酒配完白飯的女人。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkya3JurTpR
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永遠沒人知道她喝醉之後下一件會做出什麼超乎常理的事。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfSww4b6K2
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我們兩人快步走到操場，看見體育老師早就已經帶完操，放同學去打球了，所以我直接略過暖身，自己抓了一顆地上的籃球，走到籃球場練習投籃。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchtHonCmJB
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「同學！」我投進第三球時，體育老師吹起哨子，「請不要在操場喝小米酒！」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbe5J8WTtN4
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我馬上轉頭，看見一旁換好體育服的賴妍把一隻腳放在長椅上，仰起頭抓著酒瓶猛灌。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSh29rVSbrd

如果把背景換成公園，那她看起來就像一個普通的公園醉漢。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UltHifzsy
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但是這裡是學校啊！

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「可是老師，我在暖身欸。」賴妍把酒一口氣喝完然後發出「噗哈」的聲音，接著用手背豪氣的抹抹嘴，最後啐了一口痰在操場外的草皮上。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qBTOgOU9E
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這不是完全就是公園裡的醉漢嗎！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCc12h02Ql
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「那邊那位同學！」體育老師又朝另一邊大喊，「請不要在體育課投擲燃燒瓶！」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmlm6ULF4i
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「可是老師，我在暖身耶。」手裡握著燃燒瓶正準備要丟的男同學停下動作。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KNIT8w2Mp
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這貨的名字叫簡澄，不知為何，他對燃燒瓶有著近乎癡狂的異常執著，不論是何種問題、處境都會想使用燃燒瓶來解決。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3H9tjwKNF2
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對他來說，世界上不存在他的燃燒瓶解決不了的事物。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfQtGvB6fN
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有時候問題甚至還真的能夠解決，不過這只讓他變本加厲。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwC2KcQ8du
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像是現在。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppDuB9MDlz
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你根本是在幫其他同學暖身吧！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKz0hA8lfn
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你旁邊的女同學已經快要哭出來了啊！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRiB3dfMnu
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體育老師也快來阻止一下他吧！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJHsOGoNZJ
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「那暖身完記得收起來喔。」體育老師又繼續回頭看他的閣樓雜誌。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqxNgNdy7D
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你這體育老師也太淡定了吧！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikKIOsre6S
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至少先給我把閣樓雜誌收起來啊！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboDGkX3xMi
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在簡澄下手之前，另一位男同學抓住了他的手腕。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2y9jRTN45
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「住手吧，簡澄boy，這樣不cool喔。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcmDcTR3vf

男同學一手抓住簡澄，一手按在自己的臉上。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEILbv0WCdn
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「可惡，最麻煩的傢伙出現了…」簡澄低聲抱怨。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0vD4wRRrz
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「你的惡行，就由我冥界的魔之眷屬 · 暗爪的歐威爾，依你的行為施以制ㄘㄞ────」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTx19JiPWnb
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「三岐，你的錢包掉了。」我走過去，撿起掉在暗爪的歐威爾身旁的錢包。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNTk9c9hLQ
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「……我不是三岐，我是鋼爪的歐威爾。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5g5V0GlAvN
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「你剛剛說暗爪。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKwIZfOCbV
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「不，柳困boy，我很清楚我是誰，」他一手放在胸前，一手放在身後，雙腳交叉向我行禮。

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「我，是冥界的邪王 · 鋼爪的麥歐爾，出自於冥界的望族，進入人間是為了要拯救我的妹妹，也就是冥界的公主，鎖鏈的康妮。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1v2jVixLX
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「你本來說歐威爾。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacPMbDPoea
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「那、那是一時口誤……」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPaRnYnw88
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「你，」我嚴肅的對著他說，「根本不知道自己是誰對吧？」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WbBWpb0WC
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「不…我不……」他按著額頭，露出痛苦的神色，在地上打滾。「不行……！『魂』…滾出我的腦海啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSenddHMOE
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「邪王好弱。」我發牢騷。話說回來，魂界也沒有邪王這種東西就是了。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxQz7b4i6Q
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「這個給你，振作起來吧，」簡澄把手中的燃燒瓶遞給他，為他加油打氣，「你可沒有這麼容易倒下！因為……415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qs3f6M1pN
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「因為你可是……我的宿敵啊。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlhSUXiwBY
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簡澄露出了豪氣的笑容，把手伸向在地上的三岐。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4n2rzEzUay
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三岐擦乾淚水，回握住簡澄的手，正準備從地上爬起的時候，「有沒有人～看到我的～瓶～～～～子～～～～～～～～～」被喝的爛醉的賴妍一腳踩在後腦。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxSZKqxlYu
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「你不是說只要暖身嗎！」「被」趴在地上的三岐吐槽。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTL8pHZhZZ5
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「喔呀…？」賴妍往下一看，「早安啊三岐同學～在那裡玩會弄髒身體喔？」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qyZDkH51M
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「妳先從我身上下來啊！」三岐掙扎。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNGeD19p1B
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「喔喔喔喔！好像在玩衝浪喔！」賴妍努力維持平衡。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQ5muGWLgI
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「妳這是……在噗喔小看我身為暗印者的力量嗎……？」三岐說到一半還吃到土。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TWUqM0Abo
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「衝浪了喔喔喔喔喔！」賴妍開心的大笑。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dUa2gSF70
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她根本就沒在聽啊！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzHxqho4db
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「同學！」體育老師從看雜誌的姿勢抬頭，

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「不要霸凌有精神障礙的同學好嗎！」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKGSr0TpAy
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他只是中二病還沒好而已啊！為什麼變成精神障礙了！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGJPMRBmuD
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「可是老師你看三岐，」在賴妍腳下的三岐已經整張臉埋在土裡了，「他玩的很開心耶。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Yv2qaMtCQ
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「唔唔唔唔唔唔唔唔！」三岐口齒不清的哀嚎。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRnFNbGCJv
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「注意不要讓同學受傷喔。」體育老師繼續看閣樓雜誌。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV61TzWQ8ib
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這已經不是受傷的問題了吧！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8RHyr6lPh
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所以說給我把雜誌收起來啊！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGJ1J5PPQF
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「夠唔喔了吧！」臉不斷砸向地板的三岐好不容易擠出一句話。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN53kQEheQo
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「…………」賴妍臉一僵，慢慢低頭，看著她腳底下不斷扭動的三岐。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pyBktYdud
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「我、我的衝浪板會說話…好噁心喔……」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOz6oDYEBuf
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她眼眶泛紅，吸了一次鼻子。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6OXsv8Poy
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兩次。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ARdYjDX0R
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「嗚嗚………………」賴妍開始不顧一切地大哭。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1qh9mjZSf
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「三岐同學真壞。」

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「好糟糕喔。」

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「竟然害奇怪的東西哭了。」旁邊圍觀的同學們開始交頭接耳。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TYWeUPTuf
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說別人是奇怪的東西也太過份了吧！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTnsRlk4jk
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「所以現在是我的問題囉！」三岐好不容易從嚎啕大哭的賴妍腳下逃開。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0IBUaMfYp
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9O48w0Whg

「喂！誰來安慰她一下啊！」一位男同學慌張的大喊。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEaohRzC4D
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「我能讓他冷靜一下。」簡澄拿出燃燒瓶。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPLKKA40Rz
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「你只是要讓她熱起來吧！」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5VE6VAsHP
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKZ4P0jprM

「被吾封印的眷屬呦，僅從吾之召喚───」三岐振振有詞。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3ldHsrH83
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「你是要安慰她還是收了她啊啊！」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6p6Q2xds4
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「收了她。」三岐露出一副理所當然的表情。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3F1Cy3WD4
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「你們根本是來亂的吧！」你們別亂搞，我等等還要收尾啊！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2oQKQMQDL
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「年輕人們。」不知道何時走到我們旁邊的體育老師開口了，「就憑你們是無法解決這種毀滅性天災的。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfvdMOhpFT
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSO30sFMBmH

「為什麼又從奇怪的東西變成毀滅性天災！」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIZOrDxeMb
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「因為奇怪的東西放久了本來就會變成毀滅性天災。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡES8hqxfExg
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我不是在問這個啊啊啊啊啊！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfA4xHeTRqS
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJd5vv3k0ml

老師又開口說：「現在，我就讓你們看看，真正的『大人的辦法』。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDs1N2RlBb
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「『大人的辦法』……」簡澄看著老師嚴肅的臉，吞了口口水。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYkh8AZUeO
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「賴妍同學。」他走到賴妍面前。賴妍因為震驚而暫時忘記了哭泣。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2BPj6i0VN
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32SFVIC9t0

話說我們的體育老師是一位看上去年過四十的大叔，比班上所有除了我以外的同學都還要早經歷了傳說中的青春期，再加上已經在這所高中任職了十年以上，所以應該也有足夠的能力與經驗能解決這種事ㄑ────415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2xb4yfs0P
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「你看，這是丁丁。」他脫下褲子。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RqyIZKXmy
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    是真正意義上的『讓你們看看』啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6di8eOKXtl
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  當日結果：415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPB59VSAKT

賴妍平安無事（哭累了被女同學背回教室）。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDaEgpn3qF
簡澄打電話報警，體育老師於上課中被警察抓走，兩人前往警局做筆錄。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOe8qHViAJ
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三岐臉部異常腫脹，被帶去了醫務室。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEPSq6mCtp
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其他同學（包括柳困）於下一節正常上課。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9PNoq4HTC
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柳困依然單身。

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第一章 體育課！

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第一章體育課！