Kat621Please respect copyright.PENANAcIm0V9ZVoM
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January 1, 2005
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Same day
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As he leans forward, I know my world is about to change. This guy has way too much power over me. What am I even doing? 621Please respect copyright.PENANAMdlHTUfKyV
This is not me.621Please respect copyright.PENANAgNY6P39B2g
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I am not impulsive. 621Please respect copyright.PENANA8T6FSlKUwv
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I do not lose control.621Please respect copyright.PENANAxAjEwJzUmV
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I do not kiss random guys.621Please respect copyright.PENANAlc4Os08ZIP
Okay, so he isn't completely random since his friend is kinda dating my friend, but still... I don't know him. At all. 621Please respect copyright.PENANANtHVFmaBMk
From want Ness has told me, he is a total player. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAvcygx0n55w
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I run my eyes down his body. A very hot player. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAIa3mRUyKsU
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With big bulging muscles. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAiyga6lUPfV
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And hair a girl could sink her fingers into...621Please respect copyright.PENANAmzHQK0SAlM
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And dimples... 621Please respect copyright.PENANAwRrdrCFUlX
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Encasing a heart stopping smile.621Please respect copyright.PENANA0XFJdCRStE
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And deep green eyes... That just so happen to be staring at me. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAgz7ZQ2Qoxn
Crap. He's really close. Is that desire in his eyes? Or maybe he is completely repulsed by the kiss we shared. Oh no, is he going to vomit on me? I really like this dress.621Please respect copyright.PENANANhH9eVpKwN
What is he doing? What is he thinking? Would it be weird to ask him? Duh... Of course it would be weird!621Please respect copyright.PENANAStTApHrCXn
Is he waiting for me to make a move? What should I do?621Please respect copyright.PENANAgH0uaKNwLa
Crap, he has me over thinking everything. I need to stop. What does 'Ness always say? I sneak a glance in her direction, but she's stuck to Nate like a sucker fish. She is definitely not going to be any help.621Please respect copyright.PENANASKoyZaJhO3
"Just go with the flow." I hear her voice replay in my head. Right... I can totally do that. Easy enough. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAjJmKHQVVou
The flow... 621Please respect copyright.PENANAlNi7J2hQVS
But what is the flow here? Is the flow kissing or not kissing? Does the flow involve talking or not talking? 621Please respect copyright.PENANA41jdWHrAgc
Gah! I need to know what he's thinking. Would I totally ruin everything if I said something? I have to say something. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAHoOrgxViOr
He pulls back slightly, giving me room to breathe. I immediately miss his closeness. I miss the warmth of his body near mine. My body notices the loss and begins the pull towards him again.621Please respect copyright.PENANAR9KtdoDjW3
Good god, I have been single for less than a day and I am already craving someone else. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAONubzCKDYv
I am not this girl. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAdOGBtbpgRG
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I am independent. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAUMqxbBKJpf
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I am intelligent. 621Please respect copyright.PENANA4mwn0H97Lr
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I do not crave any guy. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAQO0QLeHD7k
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I have my head on straight. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAuJV6LXvvjF
I will NOT fall for him. Or his tricks.621Please respect copyright.PENANAoePDE6J9Vn
"Kat?" His eyebrows draw together, giving him a look of concern. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAKPMYY7lOYi
Shoot. How long have I been sitting here staring off into space? 621Please respect copyright.PENANAf9b24RBsf5
"Uh... Yeah?" My voice comes out strained. What the heck is wrong with me? I bring my hand up to hide my face. Maybe if he can't see me, he will forget I'm the idiot sitting here. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAuK8wVHzOqV
Hey, a girl can hope, right?621Please respect copyright.PENANAjasuP4sKXc
No such luck. He pulls my hand away to gently lay it on the table, but he doesn't release it. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAn8lGZkLPeW
"You okay?" He quirks a brow. I wonder if he feels the flow of electricity between our hands like I do. Does he feel the pull between our bodies, as though they long to be united?621Please respect copyright.PENANALHvoT4bkdZ
Or am I just totally crazy?621Please respect copyright.PENANAyoVosXeuCB
I glance down at our entwined hands ignoring my brain's plea to pull away. This connection with him is oddly comforting.621Please respect copyright.PENANAFYR49sHDXV
My eyes slide up to meet his. "I'm fine." I manage to get the words out, but even I'm not convinced. 621Please respect copyright.PENANA2F1WkOoTnl
He lets out a soft chuckle before leaning forward to whisper in my ear. "I can literally see the wheels turning in your brain."621Please respect copyright.PENANAIa2aMyAIhf
I pull back, my mouth dropping open. God, could I be any more awkward? 621Please respect copyright.PENANAz4U244j1rr
I'm not sure what to say, but he continues without prompting. "I didn't realize anyone actually thought that hard." His cocky smirk returns. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAANkYCl9GdH
I scoff, yanking my hand from his. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but not every girl is an air brained bimbo." I cross my arms while leaning back to glare at him. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAHG6IXNpuTB
His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, his hands raised in surrender. "I never said that."621Please respect copyright.PENANATNakWPsrSJ
"Yeah, well... I have thoughts." Crap. That was really lame. "Deep thoughts." Yeah, that didn't make it better. How much did I drink?621Please respect copyright.PENANA1R8IgirAHg
"I bet you do. I didn't mean to imply anything about you... or the entire female gender." He seems genuine, but maybe he's being condescending.621Please respect copyright.PENANABvsabPQvnM
I can't decide if I want to believe him or not. Being offended is easier than being vulnerable.621Please respect copyright.PENANA5xonyt9fNQ
"Well, maybe you don't know everything." I try to hold onto the indignation, but I feel it slipping away as the confusion fills his eyes. 621Please respect copyright.PENANADuUcqkcGN7
I can tell he's trying to figure out where my hostility is coming from and where he went wrong, but I just want to be angry. And it has nothing to do with him.621Please respect copyright.PENANAMfwvWyRyyI
"Never said I did." Insecurity flashed across his face amplifying my need to comfort him. Opening up could be a terrible idea. I'm going to blame the alcohol in my system. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAY5ckIXsIg5
"I..." I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding. "I... uh... tend to over think things. Pretty much everything. And today... actually yesterday, at this point, was not the best day." 621Please respect copyright.PENANAqhXT9gXbAN
"I didn't know..." His eyebrows draw together, the concerned look returning to his beautiful face. "You really can talk to me you know."621Please respect copyright.PENANAjCMjMJUCME
He gently pulls my hand back to his and begins to rub his thumb along my palm. An involuntary shiver runs through my body.621Please respect copyright.PENANATk1zKW0syq
I am so screwed. 621Please respect copyright.PENANA905xMFQ3Hy
He's not only incredibly good looking with the body of a Greek god, but he seems to be a pretty good guy... 621Please respect copyright.PENANA6mddZWLgiC
Dang it. I will not fall for him. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAyhPFcELY7q
I feel drowsy, like I'm floating. "But can I trust you?" I whisper. In the back of my brain somewhere, I know that was lame... but I can't filter anymore. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAcGrGJlq8t9
"Of course." He looks deep into my eyes, like he's trying to convince me, but I'm already convinced. My eyes burn from the need to close them.621Please respect copyright.PENANAovXZaZS2nK
I open my mouth, unsure what's going to come out. "The douche bag knew I would catch him, didn't he?"621Please respect copyright.PENANAW3gR6zwFe4
"What are you talking about?" I hear his voice through the haze. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAJRzq4Hdov1
I'm not sure how to explain. "He had... she was... he had her... doing that... in our bed. He probably just wanted an excuse to get rid of me. I was too boring. I could never do... that... what she was doing... I couldn't. I wouldn't."621Please respect copyright.PENANA8npPxeGEBo
I hear male voices mumbling. It feels like there's water in my ears. I think 'Ness is talking, but I can't understand her. But she will understand what I'm trying to say. She always understands me.621Please respect copyright.PENANAYd8GAsNW0M
I can't stop myself now that I've started. "I really thought he loved me... God, I loved him... Didn't help though. I'm not what he wanted." Spots dance in front of my eyes. And my lungs burn.621Please respect copyright.PENANALqV1YRdeHr
"Why am I such a prude? Why wasn't I enough?" It's hard to breathe... and my face feels wet. Am I crying? I really need air. Everything hurts.621Please respect copyright.PENANAUKKpBZUcVe
I can feel my body giving into the darkness, as my mind drifts to my soft bed. I just want to sleep. I just want this night to end. I feel my eyelids growing heavy. I'm unable to stop them from closing, not that I would want to. 621Please respect copyright.PENANAUfG5KndZMx
"Kat?" I hear Ben's anxious voice in the distance, but all I can feel is my body giving into sweet sleep. My body just wants to shut down and I want to let it even though I know this isn't a good idea.621Please respect copyright.PENANAJX9F6XfF06
As he catches me in his strong arms and his scent surrounds me, he is my last thought before the darkness pulls me under. 621Please respect copyright.PENANASpk0UAvhaT
I will not fall... any more... for him.
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