尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uDcWbQpxQ
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnzP66poT8
「妳瘋了嗎？」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43dnpaz5qC
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRfNc9LFtd
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PBktDPFdx
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwejETeJGl1
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RePgjTefB
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vNR4OT5Ky
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVrq2IAgTm
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEAbuvQJus
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0yjeKxG5K
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWGE7wQUrN
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiu1sx5E7h
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HAi5jZtDM
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWDI5YgvtH
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtikDHN8Ox
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuhGogk9eB
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeaavFvNCd
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXfgX8Jx1k
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyydt2x3h1o
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4gb4TvbsH
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASu9NuOO5P
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xAYX5BubH
站在樹下的人是英傑。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8vbl5Brd8
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnQNCpHIIN
我跑向他，勾住他的手。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUbnaiRLmi
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrx0q7xYmLY
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEeLFggSUJ
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeel13Mleq3
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pdaHo1MQv
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqDqQ2UEFsC
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCaKeHD6NB
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6q8gW2lU6V
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84dh0CmNeu
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhC1hNwrLo
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqB8O6kQiAU
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeU15mOwCOu
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2DMrYIc02
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGJqNhac0F
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDwaMjAAcv
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVc5Ni6e9k9
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19dxSJjVBP
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bYqUo4nnk
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcdT0KRprN
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeHmXVMRq9
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡky3kb0F546
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczRHw9A5jD
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPSYdjxuDr
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9s0ZIRuyY
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3uBDa1hJf
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzr2gWGy5B
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6x3sCPZCS
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWTdGxwTjQ
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63du7uY9iB
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKRdICsUzP
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYPAn7OoEC
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRckDrdsLR
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcro0cBy9Ht
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8msMutt2a
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4GPDW7SvG
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNu7tDWBby2
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWe5GU5FUDP
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqIGRO9yCD
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEcvgu5555
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkRwBi73xk
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUhsDIY5WW
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFosSj9d1u
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMN1wn5fbU
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuILeETJQF2
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgibGkHwU8
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUNxi96zZT
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FYAoswTwb
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5znlwnwOth
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuUJzuCdPq
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NLknaNgkR
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1u4XnTDOhU
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8bRCuPyVd
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAVIIPUzni
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoImx74IHKY
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEaK30AHzX
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNHZUQjuX9
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc82En8SMcw
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYWd50vN3p
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQA4LoXzauX
在電視裡面。512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pPCi1aYVC
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnOlvq7bnK
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXKRLE0QIb
512Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYA4AI4JMqV
待續。
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