我站在門前許久,才忐忑不安的按下電鈴。304Please respect copyright.PENANAQsmw55vnUv
304Please respect copyright.PENANAg8X25edQSV
出來應門的是個有些年紀的婦人。304Please respect copyright.PENANAMc15g9VZw9
304Please respect copyright.PENANA7qG3ooPn28
「請問,這是英傑的家嗎?」304Please respect copyright.PENANAtZZsspQwim
304Please respect copyright.PENANAzQjLGAvxC7
婦人露出狐疑的眼神。304Please respect copyright.PENANAgV05NMRFbj
304Please respect copyright.PENANAEaQ61lRK3v
「妳是…?」304Please respect copyright.PENANAUiS9BwuWcX
304Please respect copyright.PENANA6VCfV6PSdH
「我是英傑的朋友,因為我一直聯絡不到他,所以…」304Please respect copyright.PENANAlVMHik4k5x
304Please respect copyright.PENANAjbsXBflavs
「妳找錯間了,這裡沒這個人!」她揮揮手,避開我的眼神。304Please respect copyright.PENANA8K8wZBuuwt
304Please respect copyright.PENANACEpslP9FHv
「我知道他被通緝!」在她準備關上裡面的木門前,我急著大喊。304Please respect copyright.PENANALgbhAqBNKD
304Please respect copyright.PENANAIzF87sfEeS
婦人停下動作,又把木門拉開了些。304Please respect copyright.PENANA7pBZtt6EOS
304Please respect copyright.PENANAl8UHCmy0wD
「他被通緝的時候我們還見過面,可是之後就斷了聯絡。」我解釋。304Please respect copyright.PENANALsMd4q52fx
304Please respect copyright.PENANAVPlMn7QQAq
「妳是他女朋友?」304Please respect copyright.PENANAsiLYbOkGUT
304Please respect copyright.PENANAE7saLgXJT9
「不是,我不是,我是…他朋友。」我沒敢說出自己的身份。304Please respect copyright.PENANAGwo1KJ5Qj7
304Please respect copyright.PENANA4xyT3fTmJ5
304Please respect copyright.PENANA8ugCMJzt4W
「他沒和我們聯絡也很久了。」304Please respect copyright.PENANArTSoZO0yCY
304Please respect copyright.PENANAvNW6X4sEcs
「還有人跟我說他死在外面了。」婦人用著台語說著,語氣平淡得不可思議。304Please respect copyright.PENANAb2ELqRkfcF
304Please respect copyright.PENANAMbOhup9IeY
我一時語塞,沒能回話。304Please respect copyright.PENANAvjzu9CotX1
304Please respect copyright.PENANATaSaWjmzHj
「讓妳跑一趟,歹勢,英傑不在這裡,我也不知道他在哪裡。」304Please respect copyright.PENANAbyN5ThYhZQ
304Please respect copyright.PENANAj7oZ2dpvQs
「那個…那,我可以留下我的手機,如果他有跟你們聯絡,請他跟我聯絡好嗎?」304Please respect copyright.PENANAEnkyq0vvTp
304Please respect copyright.PENANAPZnXaj4Bh9
婦人一臉不耐煩,我很尷尬,但還是厚臉皮的寫下自己的號碼塞過鐵門,交到婦人手裡。304Please respect copyright.PENANAiw6XEUEVRP
304Please respect copyright.PENANAcOV7x8I00I
「小姐貴姓?」304Please respect copyright.PENANA1P4ebPIYT3
304Please respect copyright.PENANAHW4K0t1VO2
「我姓豺。」我回得迅速。304Please respect copyright.PENANAqnPPJRpD2f
304Please respect copyright.PENANAQWWpQcaMdt
「………」婦人突然噤了聲,透過鐵門盯著我。304Please respect copyright.PENANAlTFMG9Msi6
304Please respect copyright.PENANAjcnTTyuB0q
「糟。」我心想。304Please respect copyright.PENANAJ6RlNrhUu1
304Please respect copyright.PENANAAAi15f67Sn
她隨即關上木門。304Please respect copyright.PENANAsvIWiMST2L
304Please respect copyright.PENANAAefYFV2J12
「她知道我是誰了。」304Please respect copyright.PENANAnnYP37xH7j
304Please respect copyright.PENANABUuQkClOPx
我當下便明白,不管英傑有沒有回到這裡,我都無法得知了。304Please respect copyright.PENANAFPD3y1AQFD
304Please respect copyright.PENANAQfFQRP1gej
304Please respect copyright.PENANAPSIG6bSfm0
唯一的線索就這麼斷了。304Please respect copyright.PENANAvLhBA107rX
304Please respect copyright.PENANAi8I5WSzQcL
我不敢換手機號碼,睡覺時也不關機,就怕漏接了英傑打來的電話。304Please respect copyright.PENANAc0rhFCjAM6
304Please respect copyright.PENANA6PZ2zE7Q7t
就這樣升上了高中二年級,304Please respect copyright.PENANA0RYsYobM3p
304Please respect copyright.PENANArlJygZinzb
迎來了人生的轉折。304Please respect copyright.PENANAcM5zSm3fd4
304Please respect copyright.PENANAqJA1YBFSbB
304Please respect copyright.PENANA8BuBe0uMCE
父母親早在我國小時就已離異,但他們為了不讓我和弟弟分開,便還是住在一起。我在一個富裕的家庭長大,幾乎是要什麼有什麼,生性霸道且極端任性,父親一生風流,基於愧疚或父愛,總寵著我,比起成天碎碎念的母親,我覺得自己比較愛爸爸。304Please respect copyright.PENANAUnSQyN684x
304Please respect copyright.PENANAKWqUxu3FWu
在高二那一年,父親生意失利,經營的公司惡性倒閉,再加上「賭」及「面子」,父親找上了地下錢莊。304Please respect copyright.PENANA8h7yFsc2Ow
「家道中落」似乎是一瞬間的事。304Please respect copyright.PENANA4EHtCEQUIX
304Please respect copyright.PENANADelGzkfrHI
當我放學回家,看見債主找人在家門用噴漆寫上的字眼,我還沒能反應過來。304Please respect copyright.PENANAvmLDjeaVLH
304Please respect copyright.PENANAGZwpHpLPSU
「都已經離婚了,為什麼還這樣拖累我!」
母親氣得哭了。304Please respect copyright.PENANAERzYIimfbh
304Please respect copyright.PENANA3Dc31IvFQk
某天晚上,母親進來房間,告訴我,房子要賣掉了。304Please respect copyright.PENANAxGad6W6NN0
304Please respect copyright.PENANAsneiKT5pmi
他們離婚後,所買的房子仍是共有財產,父親要把房子賣掉,才能償還債務。304Please respect copyright.PENANAFeG0xsW1DZ
304Please respect copyright.PENANAplPYY3QYD2
我還沒能了解事態的嚴重,跑到客廳跟低著頭的父親大吼「這是我長大的家,就因為你,所以我的家就要這樣沒了!」304Please respect copyright.PENANALwgQsFJdhj
304Please respect copyright.PENANAyujmZP7Uoh
「那妳要我死是不是!」爸爸第一次吼我。304Please respect copyright.PENANAW8zmnis1EN
304Please respect copyright.PENANAsfTj55sOzQ
「我沒錢,地下錢莊說要砍我手腳,我讓他砍是不是!」304Please respect copyright.PENANAe1KHEVoR93
304Please respect copyright.PENANAp5tcDplorq
我嚇到了,沒能反駁。304Please respect copyright.PENANADsKrb6jfb7
304Please respect copyright.PENANAG0lkQkANX7
「房子要賣給媽媽的朋友,那個朋友說可以再租給媽媽。因為是妳爸爸要賣的,所以他要搬出去,妳就跟媽媽和弟弟繼續住在這裡,不用搬家。」
母親在旁緩頰。304Please respect copyright.PENANAuHU2PnvgZM
304Please respect copyright.PENANAuG74wIEPZ0
我沒說話,看了看坐在沙發上的父親與一旁滿臉擔憂的母親,便逕自走回房間。304Please respect copyright.PENANA6IBjsPqN57
304Please respect copyright.PENANAMn9zE0qRn5
回到房間,想起國小五年級那天,母親到安親班接我和弟弟,把我拉到一旁說的話。
「媽媽今天和爸爸去辦離婚了,妳爸爸堅持要其中一個小孩的監護權,弟弟又還小…所以妳的監護權是爸爸。媽媽不是不要妳,妳不要擔心。我們也說好不會讓妳跟弟弟分開,所以我們大家還是會住在一起喔!」304Please respect copyright.PENANAVhkhe3ogen
304Please respect copyright.PENANAxsDsteqHlG
我突然明白自己不能接受房子賣掉的原因是什麼。304Please respect copyright.PENANAmwmbjsbB8A
304Please respect copyright.PENANAOgFBY0HRFO
我不能接受的,其實是家的破碎。304Please respect copyright.PENANAYiN8eC4hPQ
304Please respect copyright.PENANAzh1jldyWc6
因為一直都住在一起,所以沒有分離的感覺。304Please respect copyright.PENANAmSiH4pC3Gh
304Please respect copyright.PENANAz6H0bqEhY9
「妳爸爸是一個無情的人。」
「因為小時候是養子,他弟弟出生後,就被虐待又被冷落,所以就連阿公過世也沒回去奔喪。」
「他和前一個老婆離婚之後,完全沒有再過問他們的生活,也從來沒去看過他以前的小孩。」
母親曾這麼說過。304Please respect copyright.PENANAgKu78YbULr
304Please respect copyright.PENANA0GYht2DnNS
「妳不要管我,反正我的監護權又不是妳!」
「是妳自己不要我的!」
某次和母親吵架,我說了這樣的話,害母親哭了整晚。304Please respect copyright.PENANAPjuJx7XjpZ
304Please respect copyright.PENANAHvAcQwV7s2
「去和妳媽媽道歉。」
「她沒有不要妳。」
那天晚上父親走到房間嚴厲地說。
而他根本很少命令我做什麼。304Please respect copyright.PENANA0G941U3Poy
304Please respect copyright.PENANAktLISgo50q
「小姐貴姓?」
「我姓豺。」
關上門前那婦人的眼神,帶了驚訝及恨意。304Please respect copyright.PENANA7aw5cYtkoO
304Please respect copyright.PENANATDqA4ofzHD
「以前我會怪別人、怪命運,其實我不能怪誰。」
「曾有一段時間我忌妒妳,妳擁有我未曾擁有的一切。」
「現在我誰也不怪了。」
紙上那美麗的字,看起來多麼傷心。304Please respect copyright.PENANANpukZtzGUG
304Please respect copyright.PENANAvLZgNsSWp7
304Please respect copyright.PENANAt858whZB52
我的腦中閃現了許許多多回憶。304Please respect copyright.PENANAzP3PtzFs1x
304Please respect copyright.PENANALSWGytuueL
304Please respect copyright.PENANAtkJYIFgwy5
媽媽睡了之後,我走到客廳,父親盯著電視,卻兩眼無神。304Please respect copyright.PENANAS7CYjcUTUV
304Please respect copyright.PENANAgZyPusAZkh
「爸爸。」我喊他。304Please respect copyright.PENANALLev140A1I
304Please respect copyright.PENANAVcCtaCypqz
父親抬頭看我。304Please respect copyright.PENANAktHhSVLBJk
304Please respect copyright.PENANAAtWLlpag7b
「你搬出去之後要去哪裡?」304Please respect copyright.PENANAqXRMSawnsT
304Please respect copyright.PENANAc2NJgpRv9e
「我不知道。」304Please respect copyright.PENANAzg4gyjLZQL
304Please respect copyright.PENANArddpeJtVoM
304Please respect copyright.PENANAc65TJHJqTG
「我和你一起搬走。」304Please respect copyright.PENANAnYC4rUFavV
304Please respect copyright.PENANAcOwj4y1bbY
我說出這句話的時候,爸爸一臉驚訝。304Please respect copyright.PENANAuGkLKhBRp7
304Please respect copyright.PENANAqToL5mjfyk
「真的嗎?」304Please respect copyright.PENANAiiH3PCaqiM
304Please respect copyright.PENANAKI5DBYR7nK
「嗯。」304Please respect copyright.PENANAQT5KDe1b6I
304Please respect copyright.PENANAGeWVeJjcMw
「…好啊。」304Please respect copyright.PENANAt5MpgqHPqk
304Please respect copyright.PENANAqxsJ5gSpHS
「那我去睡了,爸爸晚安。」304Please respect copyright.PENANAofSktb9qUn
304Please respect copyright.PENANAWZaT1ac22h
304Please respect copyright.PENANAfCtkDWh8HQ
那時,我只想著,父親一旦離開了,我可能再也見不到他。304Please respect copyright.PENANAAX5bBK0i3l
304Please respect copyright.PENANAzJUKdvuHCR
即使他不是個好兒子、好丈夫或稱職的父親,他仍是我的父親,從來都捨不得打我罵我的父親。304Please respect copyright.PENANAN3fvhFON4s
304Please respect copyright.PENANArqrVmtZ2yG
隔天,我便自己出門找房子。304Please respect copyright.PENANA0OfLOR2wkG
304Please respect copyright.PENANA5OaRscEUPn
母親雖然擔心又不捨,但沒能阻止我的任性與固執,就還是陪著我找房子。304Please respect copyright.PENANA89KFpiUZ4M
304Please respect copyright.PENANAK5J1i9Gbxx
我們在離家不遠的地方找到新住處,因為我當時尚未成年,還是請父親來和房東簽合約,之後,我自己忙搬家,請了開貨車的親戚與國中同學幫忙,把所有的家具都搬到新住處。304Please respect copyright.PENANAyf8DY4yyA4
304Please respect copyright.PENANAIACQtq4kmw
304Please respect copyright.PENANAJCNZqq6czk
然而父親沒有因此痛改前非,我們搬家後沒多久,又有新的債主找上門。304Please respect copyright.PENANAfofz5qgWK9
304Please respect copyright.PENANACkAFCV4YzZ
那天,黑兔子(忘記她的人請往前看系列文)趁著假日到家裡玩,我們在房間聊天,父親在客廳看電視。304Please respect copyright.PENANA1v3Fn2IaOC
304Please respect copyright.PENANAZzzfaKZiWz
正嘻嘻哈哈的時候,有人按電鈴。304Please respect copyright.PENANAv1e5SwiiPD
304Please respect copyright.PENANAXFjf4zB7qL
按了好幾聲,父親卻不去應門。304Please respect copyright.PENANAUXUh69FhPI
304Please respect copyright.PENANAlGwQEQQc2X
我走到客廳,看見父親把手指舉在嘴巴前面,示意我不要出聲。304Please respect copyright.PENANATBs69CJ5hq
304Please respect copyright.PENANAscU09OnW6V
對方按了幾下電鈴,便開始撞門,接著大聲咆哮、怒罵三字經。304Please respect copyright.PENANASmslSOBVQO
304Please respect copyright.PENANAtPqAc9JxLj
房間裡的黑兔子嚇到,悄聲問我怎麼回事,我覺得很丟臉,但還是告訴她,門外的是父親的債主,我們得裝做不在家…但是債主大概早就猜到我們假裝不在家吧,才會待在門外不走。304Please respect copyright.PENANA0iQh5BdNN4
304Please respect copyright.PENANA1nLlvTwg6n
直到傍晚,我才戰戰兢兢的開門,送黑兔子到公車站搭車。304Please respect copyright.PENANAKfs1TCsgTD
304Please respect copyright.PENANALANTVEG9Fv
304Please respect copyright.PENANAkoQdjvuEQW
那年發生的事情非常地多,我喜歡上了一個學長,但他卻用各種不同的方式,在我的身上、心上都留下殘酷的疤痕。304Please respect copyright.PENANAeGARjmUsLk
304Please respect copyright.PENANAjzaKRkiqIE
但那是另一個故事了。304Please respect copyright.PENANAIaHeNW83Er
304Please respect copyright.PENANAv28pXhI6wZ
304Please respect copyright.PENANA7pNAub5zUq
我和父親常常為了錢的事情吵架。304Please respect copyright.PENANAVbmjrlVupW
304Please respect copyright.PENANAi1HF1DHLPC
我就讀的學校是私立職校,學費非常地貴。而我放學後在賣場打工所賺的錢,付了生活所需的開銷以後幾乎所剩無幾。304Please respect copyright.PENANAxAVSmEeLBi
304Please respect copyright.PENANACVxksvY9Un
那些茶來伸手、飯來張口,像個公主的日子彷彿離自己已經非常遙遠。304Please respect copyright.PENANAW3oLGhmKEy
304Please respect copyright.PENANAcMOYYWCoLv
我偶爾會回去媽媽家吃飯,但絕口不提自己為錢煩惱的事。也許是怕母親擔心,又也許是怕母親責怪父親吧。304Please respect copyright.PENANAAkk2JRIUJG
304Please respect copyright.PENANAoO5g84PjS8
304Please respect copyright.PENANAZyj2QRhXRJ
在那些身心俱疲的日子裡,我很常想起英傑。304Please respect copyright.PENANAbqvi1U8VWI
304Please respect copyright.PENANAnrokIXph7v
為什麼一直都沒有和我聯絡呢?304Please respect copyright.PENANAWtc9WU4HV7
304Please respect copyright.PENANAXgaYhW264r
難道逃出台灣了嗎?304Please respect copyright.PENANAfsKF5NlTCO
304Please respect copyright.PENANAYjq1OhdonH
難道…真的死了嗎?304Please respect copyright.PENANAEhl2FPp4cc
304Please respect copyright.PENANARnfkHIxJGD
304Please respect copyright.PENANA7Nw4Iqdxxk
一天晚上,我帶著傷痕回家,在家門前,我把運動外套拉起,確定不會被看見痕跡之後進門,想著自己為什麼這樣找罪受。304Please respect copyright.PENANAgn9tr21vaY
304Please respect copyright.PENANAzVCHNccHt6
但父親不在家。304Please respect copyright.PENANAK74r5kOtg3
304Please respect copyright.PENANA2J6m5w8PV3
撥了父親的電話,聽見那邊的麻將聲。304Please respect copyright.PENANA7NP4jlpkyB
304Please respect copyright.PENANAKAf8g8aCxM
我對父親大吼,卻被掛電話。304Please respect copyright.PENANAlusqYUoCu5
304Please respect copyright.PENANAqB0f8c5MtX
那一刻,我想著自己所做的一切。304Please respect copyright.PENANAnX67H2g7mS
304Please respect copyright.PENANAwhTf7lOf69
「都是自己選的。」304Please respect copyright.PENANAydB69kz3QE
304Please respect copyright.PENANAULR2EbfROE
「沒人逼妳,都是妳自己選的。」304Please respect copyright.PENANAAuq5MMBkxB
304Please respect copyright.PENANAMcmPpzRPvf
304Please respect copyright.PENANAPLBhuYxET0
304Please respect copyright.PENANAFwMKiy0HlH
「乾脆,去死好了。」304Please respect copyright.PENANANl6raqYSna
304Please respect copyright.PENANAPVaTGR1KZ3
304Please respect copyright.PENANAD3xLJ1oStG
304Please respect copyright.PENANA0ll4Xgvi7U
待續。
ns 172.70.127.115da2