日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyeupejLFi
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgX4dIJMR1f
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSsh7BTZgp
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoP9fMrwn4
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6sVzntPGM
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr54tUGWHQx
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFdxzJYZ4M
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfu68STkgJk
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUq6A68jsc
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJwPCDqO9i
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuulBtol1O
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOYaIbI5ze
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50RMu2AIPN
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmoaxrDbgk
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHANp1NXfe
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoCMCmRqba
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfylH3MAsh
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr47JHDrJmK
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSq7P4AuKQz
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWXW5kR7Bq
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4B2HzIBE2d
「我哪知道。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2xcbC6CKT
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaWqE6c61P
「……說的也是。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3x7IsnYf8o
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRXcby53mT
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCH3XU7uIUN
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8l5C3ACwsl
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLQWwXB8vd
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnqdfocw0q
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2kfiE1knb
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRaVitO18m
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nxFBww1BB
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp78sGenkhY
無法灑脫。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4j87R5Ak7
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQTXQLCP9r
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtDqmLGfOH
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB4lskCTKP
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPM1yJZlPW
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNBfLLP8C4
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuRG6AuDni
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaleaaHtZah
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbI2AvM33iL
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiiTgemRF1
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9IwZwAwXh
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2mimnEHct
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnkChxEtLu
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDzCjjtD3P
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlATOocWXF
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNXlZVhBFf
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe05IYYIbXw
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBEWdkLEE1
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksDSVd5AhG
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7gPk73Wjl
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSGneeIspa
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbqPl9XNaE
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsAenXWAtr
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SWFocuHj4
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahVJoWKHGS
「嗯。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdnRhRkPzi
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeilcgLLts
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFNHL2ZoAk
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuSltfMzJN
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzQTigaHw6
我還不明白。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqigJwO2C6K
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAeADbyGyx
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsgkoPIsoh0
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHR5ZreokMl
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFGdI4LaxK
「……沒有。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2gfVCYGXj
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyPr5r6y7H
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZitHvlxqi
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmD9drCzFqI
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sAIQBDntX
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfruNUJPke
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTvaE34Dfk
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ722MFiVl5E
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQx8jaeiTMj
「妳沒必要忘記。」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtZHt7mgs0
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTv3BkOXyY8
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctk5Ecwric
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSz7Bwf0vSe
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgqGxMUKC2
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqnBpRdKJa
後來。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLB2hGFTjNw
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlprriC3JI
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡea03ZQt4dU
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaRIUIEUUZ
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Bex1kNMNx
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5vv8HPrko
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWCqM5Qi7L
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDFMm4lHe3
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GVITuLh04
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqlcvRggzF
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshuzTo4Xyi
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxD4LxZhjq
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwBXAAhG9v
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1zP5nmh5L
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBP37NU9Rvt
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1iajO5NYJ
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4S0WIp3Dt
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqSFZSMdLf
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajCuczv5Tm
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLxQOZF7CD
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTKopEbi30
603Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskIytLQnf2
完。
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