日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYWlLFyshn
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxur0Wt2zP
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyycWiMYhGB
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuxpYgRuYg
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHp085XKQh
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGwL7N8LDMK
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz38Eze6YOf
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1Nki21pXU
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctywD7DFFz
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aI9libbis
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwsR04QNd5
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5utTS8MXBx
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADUrZV1Ukz
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBTNUWI42a
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQk2BAQAA6n
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmaI6fLKE4F
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKnVafHwfw
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2KD038Gca
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7X3EEM5nW
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqgqP21Sae
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubLm3zje4x
「我哪知道。」559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOShRuEqyJ
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbateZ1ulv
「……說的也是。」559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWj3bS0Wh0
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7te49lRj16
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlD1fnyNPH
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCmZ5SQQxR
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvYHR6u7Zd
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLI0KNmWaVF
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaafZWgm6V
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8U7eyaAqt
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3S1GOQahE
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJc6rcaHgu
無法灑脫。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbSrekk0Tq
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb6afHsv8jb
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPNmzHY5Db
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WBHt6EiCo
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90y5aPjqB1
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwx7HvI4XA
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXGT79KqrK
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUJEHFaHJ6
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8827VgsFOa
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxjeQ9IrEo
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvN1AdkACa
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunoyRhG5pc
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6P57bOSWMh
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4knuwo2uZ4
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdvzSxdODA
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8CtlsHrxP
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1q2WGVBzIY
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvjNyonOVk
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvK0B6PPlK
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKV3iGyWlXZ
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJr1oyKIeD
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRqv2oK8Ar
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Uahawph4M
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLTtCy0ndd
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0P5Y6qgcz
「嗯。」559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrlUXxctOY
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMQ8nUcenT
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bNq8scqX9
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Z8ugB1eE9
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkB8olSPr3
我還不明白。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmuNQHfkpB
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MkyqGe8ka
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJC7hcWNFrY
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZG8jqz7gv
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2dsirsj5c
「……沒有。」559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnf9t0zXsqt
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfY6cHLYpg
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KB8nwproK
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJcs0jMMhR
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPM8LCdWV7
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcX8zEekfw
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHDqA8raNC
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW976qHL4Q3
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LnYDhEtky
「妳沒必要忘記。」559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdO8rMugGA
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuUPjVGTVq
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAledsICqbV
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlEHN5c3fc
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRkTNjqFl5
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXS5W6UMm7
後來。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPBPbQ1THo
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOaHzhrGca
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AKZebI6fz
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzHtemDgfO
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnGxtrVus5
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNWX2Oe7XH
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuK9mVrPDDm
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4hSrB3unM
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaTrakNIT5
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QzxY1orQz
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTUgZXJYmh
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9abxye8RQ5
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ipcV6LJOt
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeYaEp9v3y
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQNJaSi7Iq
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvHSTIb9M4
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBS637rMPf
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlq72Z4X0A
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXmKp5TWH3
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qH1mykuat
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNaiG8Ep5d
559Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhZcz1w1eN
完。
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