事情要回到幾個月前。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHo618bh78
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvRCD7Eg4K
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuK6klQQrL
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkQmFgeb6p
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqi1a9cGlWP
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVplvT7ugi
「幹嘛道歉？」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8FpuQZUuy
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3zmlPrx7o
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9dxvRnDwt
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRZdm94VHO
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tWAiDCHqz
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsSlEPvkDX
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRDkus2gWa
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5umVBgzes
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdAqPinyZw
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PvZPB2z91
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yBJWCYdTx
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXPbYBOab2
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHs423ncs6
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiC5SRNPmR
「不是。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2HAgZJYgP
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjR3ssGQOn
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeyPb3zYLS
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDxG3tmraK
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzGNxj4zrM
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECKAmzBXXG
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TUFfMJb3W
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6B5RkxP1WJ
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX89HglLSu7
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPM67CwPOwN
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLmkJx4Lj1
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgt5IDfa3e
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqkILMNOsD
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdoKgwBD7Q
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwm7M57K4Y0
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzz9hqHUuD
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu75uVsaeSp
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZJaQkYM0W
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpRM6RZ1nb
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmWPJSaWzH
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9Pu6uhiaV
「我信任妳。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RiR0PWmn6
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyTYTndZLw
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nS6jug5bc
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSEG7JoDgD
「妳應該不是。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSd4SPLfj3
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvbX1TYqrB
「這麼有信心？」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvXGp0QgSC
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZuOvGvC0ji
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9KCqfpSqy
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2g1a4dwEo2
「嗯？」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFaLzjIujkh
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLoHV3Iwrh
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iqkH3Eobd
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvkEzpfSzl
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1hCQh9TI6
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4FYI0QW5S
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUhA3LRzVQ
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqj0gCGcvkW
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRI8bljSJJG
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡig8lPexwzd
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn93cwrEIz5
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyabqT4E5B
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAIIkVrJL8
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDc06s6sTD
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKxz04hXeG
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1NuxFqTop
「哈哈哈。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoz7VFLbyd
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49mjgDzjHK
「哈哈。」405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQ2mhKy5Ox
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYsVQ1fzx8
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDhRZ7hCSa
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzoybu3fpV
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVOmpGvkOF
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRqHlYNjcg
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2OUKPX5Gb
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuuUadD2dI
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAsV1AYN6S
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdu6agWdxo
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaNh04gcrp
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UKVEowgo7
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAD0OON5vl0
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAe3ENbLdCQ
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4NktWtP9n
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4rTGBiPMY
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIclU82smDR
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQecLG4RIY
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJBzYz0W1p
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXP5c03byR
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFp2PmS62l
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxmVsDdXTg
接著，換左腳。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5becJn0cAg
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65Ffpma067
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJueaP1URAD
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXRaBm0iZ0
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhBF92V7vJ
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAXWzDeIXy
「頭抬起來。」我說。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4HZR6kCaz
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbh0pmlwvzD
命令的語氣。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBjMV3BFvy
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaBBxVNqJI
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUaOiwZj6l
405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrG1Qv4qlUr
待續。405Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEU4ZLjzJB
