日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWTITfNBBR
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkaSHqQj7Z
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6wsMKRdBL
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvAq9NrSLG
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKW6bDsj9R
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8G03qlNXv5
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZWhcVvIjF
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHi5gB7ZXR
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bIw91amkH
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKepeFPvOB
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGmuWRWBnn
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnRRG79gvK
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdAM2K8zso
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvtD0SUwGR
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Vf6vl0dSm
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ceIb3JKxY
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxm6r0Xo1bB
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5CnigrLSy
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI46adEsNfm
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyx9iuyp1n
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoPMflS6pZ
「我哪知道。」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVtvJy1FGj
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjbdi90udx
「……說的也是。」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2csojlM1F9
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vfpIaxsw9
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEjJpSnphV
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5nE1Zogyo
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlS5gIwGBT8
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukCXCquodZ
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpr1ySKbzrv
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxVkKY6Dtv
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbt50mw03up
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdzlggUW8x
無法灑脫。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI57WnCoeIc
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRh3xyoAu3
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCoarGIERy
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5HhYPyQcC
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8vDIOUmXO
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VdDx6GoTF
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZUHeIIaTR
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEm0K3PDUKA
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQahjrp6LCO
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uIFBZZ06r
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAKwdiFurN
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbgZo6VPGu
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9WaB5IVyH
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡor3WoK2R7F
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhbKinA7z4
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkDwCNzK3f
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPO8MD9XUy
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIXLHbalqf
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqVvcJhyKe
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFaVYBrAyb
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsMQUT3mrQ
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMddfSN6ut
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJklAVTEoC
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILy66pNhqL
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9OIkAi8uj
「嗯。」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3H4tPfakI
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzNtbQoELg
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupKuRG6wIY
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcr6laTeN1H
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XRQl4gDGL
我還不明白。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNStD2Si1kU
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTQjHV2n2F
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5Abt182l7
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDe0dncfLM
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2v1VRbqN9
「……沒有。」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yI9G5dr50
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbKVwkjtCH
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoFhNlAQ2C
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvY7HeUuMf
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqu2nj8iIbJ
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnXER7NFvL
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMG5y92WRD5
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PbJb2RFG2
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnC5jrbpZ4T
「妳沒必要忘記。」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEbRqD2Nq7
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpRBl6jce4
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLAaZbxtSd
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhkCenDFhQ
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXE2ZVPzxPt
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIpYHHDd2W
後來。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5ItV95jTf
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPdbnx274r
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GEt6QIyd8
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46JHZuUFOw
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmI5vqPODAU
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iYpRhkCDG
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHRlfSjfxp
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksKsOJ8Nrq
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBGbj7Ygcy
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsHdUdrsIA
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKrWAVQadJ
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOosh4oOsH
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUkmNkAusv
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaVVrfijj9
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbURVNYtBrE
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9136UbVJIF
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVAYoFzyYV
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDD8Pprto6D
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHK8GasTP4
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp37SyOyZgF
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJDQadZy46
560Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VmGDGfoyM
完。
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