事情要回到幾個月前。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HgboShIWF
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HSRC2MGpG
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBdmug1DB7
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdrH54vbN4
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3y1OhS10P
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPlZ4EfWSa
「幹嘛道歉？」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTIrhgbbnX
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7VmMY3fRk
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmaIilf9XaI
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZf0NDQalvA
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rcnvWaQls
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPQ2iwubra
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9DDZrooDb
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnL6pfkHl6g
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAD6XKxzoG3
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5t4psoHugC
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUqL4OQM7b
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqoxpG7QjAy
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4Bsk9ymVV
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHU11oGAep
「不是。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGRdsFHec9
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6tK8jGDSf
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uDfVltwFb
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJkamNQxt0
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lkB2oc9dz
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4O7bS5iws9
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUEpxCGqj2
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHPYUMdUS8
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGDddTzklV
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhTUB5IP7b
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2JXwVhAF1
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgqPz2WqQw
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnawZDp8iC
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiRLbElUa5
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7eKlJMsBJ
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVCvMFQdDS
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuW7ANGbnw
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDKYBGbLzs
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtxYvtnFW6
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYw9CTv7a0Q
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrZxo7lulE
「我信任妳。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4p5ghi5nQr
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTaSLKnJIR
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidagXw1xrZ
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRD9Mxkhcy
「妳應該不是。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTQF9uPIM7
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZh93BxYxZ
「這麼有信心？」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXv1XPc1mr
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvb2iglQ92
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIElcU1Avev
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡig4m6hYXcR
「嗯？」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfUmn16ipC
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQx5UGLlBZ
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWapTHKorD7
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOlQfEJ1YI
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUTGBQCbGG
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4XSc1NH9C
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FgONJBVG3
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnO73JSKve
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61FKBKSBkv
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCGujWbnRy
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtD8No41N2Y
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6A8ZOlsGJl
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtqITufaCy
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXTOLkTXPh
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Z2ahuKJvz
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxM1aGEChk2
「哈哈哈。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnyyjeRFWRj
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SzlbBAoOH
「哈哈。」417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzf2UHA42Z
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5AbuG5rZL
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡds1KE5QM4H
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLuZ1Tr2bA
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAL0swn7oW
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmWfFsn3x9
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9410fJ5kCu
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IihufHm1V
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGzNP1sbXm
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWKi0Q1nvM
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZeO7bCmLzw
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTk27T1DRm
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAZyG7GiSA
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoT5GQhkBP
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjRdbYQjZa
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqWWLrj4bk
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5bdiHN6vj
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kN9obw6Jj
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vcslM5C1I
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHop9h9qFG
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVa4Gzbudh
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL9HpiOM1XI
接著，換左腳。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUXAaFFMFK
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUxMRe1uY7
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14jGqQdO7N
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7sGF9ZJHI
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNh9RpLFM4r
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVnXI9alZT
「頭抬起來。」我說。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKLpw8j6XD
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4P9knbd9Oz
命令的語氣。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2PTJLonhk
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExZFnfExVR
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCmrOvSMMN
417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdofqEZacF
待續。417Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaV2ePJqXoX
