事情要回到幾個月前。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7duRwwSJR
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOSx7kfAHV
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPQKVn8cPh
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlnj7rp6YF
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZqdx2bDIC
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlV0IE6INWU
「幹嘛道歉？」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglF0AMVNit
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbspzIHgMY
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyNhOwsmiW
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2SY4bgy4i
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QGVkAq0wm
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkafH8ojKao
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhf8N02ary
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQFZpmfk1j
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9T18hFgTsc
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRyHfPWOyH
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tjZze9S5K
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRp0c5Ht7KR
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDr5muWvXoO
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzIkR3H6yw
「不是。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBAocZEl1a
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIi85H2U1e
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvVlb60SvF
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WpxZIppgY
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CFtLHK9Wj
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLjGL3Hagj
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63ObvdYJQC
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQF8pTWc18l
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIZVdiXCX4
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUuX9OR7Ur
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthYlPD98Pz
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdnvMc3125
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxjrQznc1x
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0IYHDvy2h
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3stGqVcsw
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFpL5Sii2l
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7h8XwZo9Q
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMS3vE3az5d
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvLIVbJDTj
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqfYTRJm8U
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcskyQm4dmn
「我信任妳。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznN87gOhdS
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtPLNm1fLq
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZHtWDJ05i
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2GisJ2pS8
「妳應該不是。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwv64khnwoX
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlotmAJdVcw
「這麼有信心？」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTERwrnSHbs
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOsnsko4oK
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKxljYKgpI
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSWrEF4sBY
「嗯？」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLGoMKbOSN
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJjVIkMixY
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4o38IXzcrq
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSGNrHh9Sf
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3apA9LRqZ
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRrx6M6V7f
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GWOhYGRdv
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWv3FdVIaFT
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7KgJNn8wG
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkx3ZelW7RO
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9FwQG15DG
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENfeVLK9UO
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdlBmQ5dZC
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXjnPZh5N8
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyhUyan32i
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqeICrSFGj
「哈哈哈。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnysLm2GcUW
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uAD5sSpno
「哈哈。」403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTd8zFxIGha
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5berbldq6
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89s3WygEs1
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSPMxH5dVH
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡakL53UeABb
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOik9zkGPk
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWGfefCRSo
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnSH00anof
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYFFbMPczL
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKRo3lImK2
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0dqeNoiZH
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaCG31zoDZ
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVphPkN9tr
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBh5zuLLQix
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeEKYRxt20
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinZDeUR2DW
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnayfHoRf9d
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlymlbUMmDQ
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcl2yhIjpf
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZJmKF7bok
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSMY056FzH
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVdH8KBRA1
接著，換左腳。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWH7vOaDxEt
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqz13yzdB1
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kKcL7rgSK
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDCeOdic50
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWVkZOIen5
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQexZEYbYy
「頭抬起來。」我說。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWA4lUiQVx
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNK2F1PSAoo
命令的語氣。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJLabmJzBs
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xEYzTBwKu
403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBGKqYABao
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待續。403Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2pqdMswZZ
