尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQeGmw04gb
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07Fv9LAK92
「妳瘋了嗎？」576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYs9UzLksrF
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTpg8wGHfm
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYDCAxbRYy
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wrXVjJznl
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiMdIGGG1E
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2wh7Bm32H
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiHlW0yN69
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GdOC277Wb
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzXjF9ABdj
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKww9fv8Gd
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUZpMXdemM
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5Et53iO0e
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRa8G5e9fD
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXHjMDmwKA
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DfuNBtLyO
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIRsngQtUP
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOC1V16Nsw
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRamazSIOFp
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRfRHNqhKK
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xmC6kXkBR
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvR4MMWieD
站在樹下的人是英傑。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6ZZLJw6jM
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQjyIeNGA7
我跑向他，勾住他的手。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRnelIpVbv
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmWPeDfF70
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPx5xO8o4js
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazAJDWwYxz
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxia52dXONE
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXko89ZLvb
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMN0CNCvli
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDQAP7IE6s
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOmAhFMVMO
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpJ4DPzoLu
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKwZ972Zyy
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NisvqwIPe
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtq0LK2rJz
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIXXj60zKV
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBSmH7GfXc
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpAIRK6alk
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCREtkxZI0S
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzKm5nK6pn
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rDL1rEw2M
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1L4mAvVztD
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMBmFtQi8I
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyLLsveI5b
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZOfEdNHa8
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtg9P5oiTMz
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0jtE0SCAo
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAOrCR4um0
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3aST6SIRI
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdj0iL6uyj
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNr0D5AcxU6
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNu2JIcKr3w
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OMsJYYkd8
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMekQFsj9f
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrqwtX7D61
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1beSqEYNq
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVWvce9Tfl
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCXZyPX50O
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIy5D8riu8
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxTxER1afj
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxku8CM42oH
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dZLwp5sVj
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJxX3eK8sQ
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8pGYF2LlO
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DLzUoJkxH
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAnWjykcKB
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tSkRogk5N
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSCp8XAS1a
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa108nkjVyT
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCYUUGBd3j
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCObyXjq4Jh
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6J2Kuan0LW
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDX8JBhzYD
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0otSTdJql
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzTlo9jIM7
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUFAT5LKnp
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmrYlBK7fQ
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9T6GIKDUEV
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViRqFwNjiq
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbj8IJFdw0
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1Eg5IEy3I
在電視裡面。576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQMRNNE8CZ
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4bcEVb2Ns
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUNbNnf651
576Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkc8KVRKnB
待續。
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