尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOJ4U00cGA
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUWo1oOpFA
「妳瘋了嗎？」519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFErCVHfsS
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUBAcdxEfP
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Vs3LQAafq
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuDCS8F4TC
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59tp2Pml1U
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GndvsT7om
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNY52UwJEm
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYNmBjiW3E
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHP2IxudMD
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNr27f8dI1
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzh4ViHdy6B
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0HIQWA1BP
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZNiI6jVUc
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcRtpCQj9f
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBQaKEmokY
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4l5DPulSV
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWjx83N3Jf
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOEHQSwYt6
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4G18IoVO1
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLN8JwC7nP
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4QzJ1IFtU
站在樹下的人是英傑。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIXGEuEsfk
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgXrYZHc7z
我跑向他，勾住他的手。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz91PCRNUeK
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwBqjLPZLe
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQT0Mh77uNX
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8CtOZBmkJ
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GqMqnwHqv
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEjm9LrZOy
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1M3SX9h3w
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8okDe4Vdp
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi07WG4GgYW
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdfNhScbBx
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUD64L4T4X
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsKdQI3y5r
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAa2xFwbxGk
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWV5R5pbCn8
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IUYtIVjZh
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRglODhSVs
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7U4IUmM8N
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7ukSKiAkd
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8WlDu4CP0
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MTCeXd4qp
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxYFVcwoD1
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEGH59uqWJ
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPoHxemCPs
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXhwvjL0WW
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWA0PdS36cE
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJENgnoyQWZ
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBiMehIKCa
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLCsDZluUh
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OglUXwptC
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncddu6fIMn
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnW6GzfcCUc
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8Y2StMzRg
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zwJMdicmF
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99MOVXkvGA
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3Kr1VrU0u
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0WHIPVvys
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbe8TfIqvK3
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYQmjOhvu3
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JBc07XN2l
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5QDaAbdPg
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyvKJjZZaL
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdB5vIjmZL
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DhJq8h8dl
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCkNyXaERj
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaKQQXY4PC
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SNeH0ZYMG
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShOjwelx1o
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYERyCGtakg
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9TGll8nB6
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVjKgN26F5
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjnFERUSFa
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiTEtwBY6u
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdy7PB5J4V
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRf8o9g5ZIw
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2my2ab8Rfl
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AUpRHPD5Y
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjI6vTrUlGC
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbq3zNlN8q5
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvDfddC28R
在電視裡面。519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGduGuBRyk
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUv8BfMr4L
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj00PcJ7gWc
519Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ldE0A2UfC
待續。
ns216.73.216.152da2
