事情要回到幾個月前。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KzpUqBdB9
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvj6qaARCFo
「豺姐，我想跟妳道歉。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFUz538YMF
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZl2lWBbAo
聊著聊著，他突然傳來這樣的訊息。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZA1rgONkB
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrXe2vUWgL
「幹嘛道歉？」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwBtJ3CO8Q
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsO15xxbKq
「前一陣子，是不是有人密妳的skype，問妳想不想穿高跟鞋踩他？」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUE3WcGQ9m
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOcZ94QdEr
我想了一下，好像有這麼回事。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhjIWwQJQK
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqk3HmZnjf
「那個人就是我，但我應該馬上就被妳封鎖了吧？」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjf0VsjGju0
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRHnppR6nf
「呃，因為skype是個常常會被陌生人亂加的程式，所以看到奇怪的訊息，我都是直接封鎖啊。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTGuewbsEV
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaYyCcKH6w
「拜託妳現在不要封鎖我。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkcmwmFyJC
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQnUMzDjxG
「不會啊，都是朋友了還鎖什麼，不過你是在惡作劇嗎？」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkuNFMUMof
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhDJJdkG4z
「不是。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuL8LXm4TN4
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXI86scScl
然後，他開始和我說起，他的秘密。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJs9T1v0VE
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mK63pCaiY
作為一個M，又稱「臣服者」（也有人說是「受虐者」，但我不喜歡這個稱呼），加上「戀物」及「戀足」，他從很久以前，就知道自己的喜好及性傾向，但沒有讓人知道，包括以前交的女朋友。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXBWrYMpr8
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4pgyAGBo4S
看到高跟鞋會興奮，產生被虐的幻想；女孩子只要稍微兇他，他也會心癢，更別說是聽到一些汙辱謾罵的詞彙了，那只會讓他更高興。
在他意識到自己的性傾向時，還是個小孩。他下意識的覺得自己不正常，隨之而來的厭惡自己及沮喪情緒很快吞沒了他。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXCMGQxg33
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3wmlLkN4S
所以他掩飾、逃避，逼自己過「正常人」的生活及性生活。
直到過了幾年，進入資訊爆炸的時代，Google大神開始顯神威，在網路上發現同好的時候，他才漸漸接受自己。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIElII54Zs
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yXGkmn1Qr
「只是接受了自己，不代表別人肯接受這樣的我。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjLiMJ9lc3
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBh7mp4WDU
所以他還是持續隱瞞這件事，也許是過於刻意隱瞞，在戀愛的過程中，他反而像個大男人，所交到的女朋友，也都是小女人類型的，這讓他更不可能坦白自己了。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPu4CvGB0U
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZSMruzdQ1
那天晚上，我幾乎聽完了他到目前為止的人生。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSHnpKQZl3
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxIFlH3dMl
「壓抑」，若要下個結論，就只有這兩個字。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZLMuBHHXZ
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRX3koCBI9
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgg28cQ5fu
「為什麼告訴我？」
不過是朋友的朋友，一群朋友一起出去過幾次，我真的不認為我們有那麼熟。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfDDJy37u0
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKebANQhj2c
「我信任妳。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1NXA5dvBy
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAQHr9r7Wu
「噗，你也太容易相信別人了吧，萬一我是大嘴巴咧。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKJ4HFvxpA
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIU0H9HXVA2
「妳應該不是。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOx1Kw3EcK
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NCTzqlcit
「這麼有信心？」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrvESgxLz2
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHH9aO0sp4a
「有一次去唱歌，那個誰不是在說某個人的八卦嗎，說她和哪個歌手有一腿，還墮胎怎麼的。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7F4C0Y9XId
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIgFmj7Dkd
「嗯？」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArAuXY2q0t
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99G0XOGTt6
「妳本來在跟大家聊天，聊到這個就自己喝起酒來，也不搭話。我記得那個當事者跟妳有過節。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSE8KH6W4B
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGvZfl1lQ2
「是有一些無聊的過節，你怎麼會知道？」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRTsIH21uJ
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkdDjx6V7a
「因為別人是大嘴巴。可是妳當時什麼都沒說，也不參與話題，所以我信妳。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmjQIUaQDq
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNAjS7f4MM
竟然被偷偷觀察了啊。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4MJL8BQLf
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPrBDqjw0U
「說不定我只是口渴了想喝酒啊。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifPmnSjR00
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRU0TUhPvL
「妳是大嘴巴嗎？」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rP5hQa1HN
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NdlDo67WC
「我不是，但你的故事可能會成為我的創作題材。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasdWKQFjIA
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJX8ilU8126
「哈哈哈。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmYCWkgxtS
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9vx38PAT6
「哈哈。」415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFypxYpyt9
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96YF7tYPyD
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYH5Jqqx9Rs
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfMoK8jfOW
他捧著高跟鞋，或許是我的錯覺，他的手彷彿在微微的顫抖。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIKcsQERQl
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BYDoVI1Vl
我看著他小心翼翼的，將自己的臉側過，慢慢的貼在鞋頭的鞋面上，一秒，兩秒，三秒，然後離開它，看了看鞋，抬頭，盯著我。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQ9dPj2EMN
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhR4H6W6Sli
他放下高跟鞋，頭低著，對我伸出手。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWm1p2ikkNZ
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07f3LDRwaX
我有點緊張，所以動作也很遲鈍。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvXW9jFXPS
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGmL9AQ11O
把右腳放進他手裡的時候，我意識到自己的雙手緊捏著床沿。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ID0MlIdqW
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBs1NNachF
他微微抬頭，眼神落在我的腳背上。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyhkRghg6d
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpNVMhF8c1
就像電影裡演的紳士，在女士的手背親吻那樣，他也這麼做了，只是把手換成腳。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2TrVwCugy
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYEtTLGGAZ
他輕輕地吻了我的腳背，就一下子，沒有停留，沒有聲響，我也沒有感到不舒服。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZ2yKlW7Tb
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CFkQslIxs
他拿起高跟鞋，從我的腳尖套上，再合上腳跟，確認高跟鞋穿好後，放下我的右腳。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUZ6yYV2nH
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3SkqO9tVY
接著，換左腳。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHNfSvxK0q
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzG5BEqf8d
因為他的動作一直很溫柔，所以我的緊張感消失了大半。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡco7CdWSVmW
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDhvxEjew6
同樣的模式（或儀式）結束後，我的雙腳都穿上了高跟鞋，而他恢復了原本的姿勢，低著頭，跪著。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JlBHEnTAp
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDriGcKKcP
「頭抬起來。」我說。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqx6IbqBt4k
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiWxuhwlIk
命令的語氣。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGym15DCchJ
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJ1FcB4Oby
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1W4FJtsIru
415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUis5m4QXL
待續。415Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRaTY5H4dDQ
