尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDeoWtuwCa
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqb0ZtSzYJ5
「妳瘋了嗎？」522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7h0Ww1npvG
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfZTJMjhxk
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa27LXMQrGc
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Oe6pd6c6W
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsUkKmKlOv
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcdU0Ulu0f
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoPN8ulkSU
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNqZxNPrX5
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvLNiolDj0
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnC6dtXOA2o
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEldBpK5zok
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwH1DeiHyUW
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHb1wYg9ukO
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGyKkGq7Eb
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0tPEhd1Eb
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbbx7g1wZFI
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OdblOIrBm
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVcUM7rm0m
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeYo0uAuCq
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicGSsK2QN3
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUEBK6I8VB
站在樹下的人是英傑。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIHEMOiYYu
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOZyomtjvj
我跑向他，勾住他的手。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqPSaDf9BZ
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5b7DnXG10e
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pZMJRRkSO
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LKNhmwkFu
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6e6PZbGgq
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UyOdpyp1o
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyczqZAZOwD
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHs1j6WjnFz
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdYG692laG
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNizjh25P2T
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8cx1ALOXl
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwL91kKLTyC
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkiDgaUGE8
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgA11MBi8x
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8sYsaEKKT
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wHGgqaUiF
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRaZqbXzsf
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNazQK9J98g
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrahuyE2SUC
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHiBzGylbY
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7VqDAoehE
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6e2Jih3H0p
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6fBO2dFNz
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7UrYFExxC
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZMPCqcHXt
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZcDbjCiRE
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMbtZDBVbk
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiO1qujNKa
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkeuwtDKT7
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE84UajutMg
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrnuJr5Dig
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLuXgKPhpQ
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHWHoWs2o4
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYU4F5O1S7
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVU3fDhPOE
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRtNwIcyeB
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexSAjyiBX7
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKkfcd7vys
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAf9MCCQCVf
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdJEoGWaOK
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fryMuR6FG
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YCiYYyl9B
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkj4Ogv44z
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlpCeOtkn0
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQciI61tw2J
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9CzgVxnOr
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGRCmjo6Jz
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjg5ey88q9
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZ04JAwqxc
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WNNCmu7Zo
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmQkVblqLw
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiWWnYz5cU
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTYNwEBzDU
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5VltdfmB0
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡES7aNZX7JW
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qOuDDl8De
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMA3MYRxs8x
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbja4IzLpt
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeuqZ3KGNt
在電視裡面。522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlofh74xnwk
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCTMsLfwd0
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPM9bYJTH0u
522Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNLSPDvLSd
待續。
ns216.73.216.192da2
