尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRc1iL1IV8
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzTzO4I3WJ
「妳瘋了嗎？」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpmGG6Id1O
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7QGoLdsEC
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvI9ik1qUZ
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmXsuhT8fm
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XSbcLLWpi
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLnpZEho0z
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtjNakpVDR
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhdKjMccm0
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNPJkqcASz
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPbyNB63l4
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9oCaYim5C7
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHj3hqAEwFv
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡok14SnLscm
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUEmwgDZAw
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7TGOkph4s
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEP7ohYBasv
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71grBRP5Hu
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YLg8ItjuK
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95GmgM3SOs
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJigpJvmA5
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9KnTAY6mB
站在樹下的人是英傑。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtw2QI9a4D
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUYwecELMo
我跑向他，勾住他的手。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi33YUjALXd
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUFRyg8DNU
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqytez09gaX
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3k1TqpkQz
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKG4H4qLnZ6
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuGNpJs50q
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3UB0o7WmN
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3HwnMbpZw
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwpSy52aMk
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEekcxUsdj6
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEIE6cDiuf
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3VM1p31MC
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJEsYGWv7U
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1E0uVw9pFH
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSzhCaMcYU
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhi9eh23LEr
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BIZvthVcs
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0j6foxcAxs
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSXaIOBh3u
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0Zt2n9b9d
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZ1ruW1GeJ
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOkaIsawiv
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqPxTwRE6v
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSzAF2mame
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyYj6q3hRa
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKd3zEowD7
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡft6zkhfmmd
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2UcVK3CwV
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrgSfdiY95
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvQBNRRTib
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqg5XiSE63g
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4CD5uf1fd
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NsCRiAQvh
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuTdSiybM2c
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1FahhQ3HY
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGhAIgJU7d
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FEGUWxRAO
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWe0i8PCZf
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrooHDMm0h
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqorGA6r5uN
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuptAbnEKiI
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdADQYNGg8G
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcye78gVXmW
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzZkP432TH
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCf8IGc1Bj8
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYk72soCW3
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWz7yFhH8Ft
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY36BrPwiPh
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZxsfbAD0y
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexFHa9jGYb
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kNpyCzFtV
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJfKpnK833
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxpkd4Ej4p
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhfTZlmuu3
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFczkeTWoZ
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiH1X1wtE98
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWcExOJtDD
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLq0BzSUT4
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgJUoR8D7D
在電視裡面。579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BRA5qsdLx
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDEmDxhzZR
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJt3rQM31T
579Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmrMndGGX1
待續。
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