回家之後,我上網搜尋新聞,看到一張又一張英傑的照片,有些也提到英傑的過去,但我很早就知道台灣的新聞有大半是創作文,所以沒多加理會。
那陣子我每天上網搜尋英傑的名字,看最新的案情發展。因為死者的來頭不小,新聞鬧得很大,我也不敢貿然行事,深怕給自己或英傑增添更多麻煩。
英傑還有個同夥,在英傑被捕的時候,仍在逃亡。當時我的工作是在住宅大樓裡當社區秘書,過沒多久,新聞報出在逃亡的同夥尋求某個立委協助自首,好巧不巧地,那個立委就住在我工作的社區裡。396Please respect copyright.PENANAHDVqbtkfNq
396Please respect copyright.PENANAle5nXU7lW5
這是個能夠聯絡上英傑的好機會,我心想。396Please respect copyright.PENANA08YsblhymZ
396Please respect copyright.PENANAuWoaJLxg3s
但是我猶豫了。396Please respect copyright.PENANAhJzNJ2HPKx
396Please respect copyright.PENANAjGSnatvN6q
英傑那麼久不和我聯絡,是不是根本不想和我聯絡?是不是獄中太無聊,才想找人寫信打發時間?那些我自認為的兄妹情誼,是不是其實都是假的?
萬一我因此失去工作,或是被媒體捕風捉影,雪球越滾越大的時候怎麼辦?396Please respect copyright.PENANAnyQrsASJiU
396Please respect copyright.PENANAW0Cuo4Vu4s
悲觀的想法一冒出來,就無法無天的蔓延。所有可能面臨的糟糕情況,我都想了一輪。396Please respect copyright.PENANAKRSwaNkvrC
396Please respect copyright.PENANAAzYAXcmhUi
我很想告訴自己不是這樣,但內心又害怕。396Please respect copyright.PENANADxGSOKBajY
396Please respect copyright.PENANATZ1WAcICgv
我最害怕的,其實是當我找到他了,他卻早就忘記我是誰,那我該怎麼辦?396Please respect copyright.PENANArXz1Vc96Ds
396Please respect copyright.PENANAAV1sbcYLu7
這些年來懸著一顆心的疑問就快要可以有解答了,我卻裹足不前。396Please respect copyright.PENANAT3HaMFvaeG
396Please respect copyright.PENANAdb0LhC79C9
396Please respect copyright.PENANAl5UMjLpIzX
就這麼拖著拖著,直到我用了各種關鍵字,搜尋到英傑的部落格,也就是他用來和買家交易槍械的地方。396Please respect copyright.PENANApGJTEzDSnU
396Please respect copyright.PENANA3jRKssq3hh
部落格裡有關槍械的影片和文章都已刪除,只剩幾篇英傑打的心情日記。396Please respect copyright.PENANArq3BswnFQE
396Please respect copyright.PENANAfm6HGvM755
「我在地獄出生,也在地獄生活。」396Please respect copyright.PENANAd5513DGnNP
396Please respect copyright.PENANARcjDg4GlDC
「陽光是永遠照不進地獄的。」396Please respect copyright.PENANA2Z6rBEFx0m
396Please respect copyright.PENANAkruixesQhe
這類文字充斥著他的文章。396Please respect copyright.PENANArgvbkwAWoC
396Please respect copyright.PENANAE1SeJ0TtAg
我想起他曾在信裡寫「妳是我的天使」…396Please respect copyright.PENANAOdsW1k9wA6
396Please respect copyright.PENANA1XoSpoHDwn
我怎麼能是呢?如果我是,為什麼無法拯救你?396Please respect copyright.PENANAnR1OujIR5M
396Please respect copyright.PENANAKmF02BjYf9
396Please respect copyright.PENANAkXVoOrmzEW
我抱著姑且一試的心情,在英傑的部落格留了隱藏的留言,告訴他我是誰,也說想見他一面,留下了自己的手機號碼,希望能有機會和他說說話。396Please respect copyright.PENANAVt4qHGfFRK
396Please respect copyright.PENANAXIFtiSjp0e
396Please respect copyright.PENANAgjq255mtsk
新聞持續報導,同夥自首後,新聞的焦點便放在同夥身上,較少播報有關英傑的事。我心裡覺得這樣比較好,又一邊擔心再也無法得知英傑的消息。396Please respect copyright.PENANAOj6fxaCzIp
396Please respect copyright.PENANARMGw6Fgg9F
396Please respect copyright.PENANAAqIcdiX3UX
我沒有等太久,就收到了回應。
英傑的姊姊(也是我同父異母的姊姊)用英傑的帳號回覆我了。396Please respect copyright.PENANAQ9qcafyiCZ
396Please respect copyright.PENANAKqe9xFEDcb
「我知道妳是誰,英傑和我說過他和妳寫了很長一段時間的信,妳也曾到過我家吧?」396Please respect copyright.PENANAM4R6cLSKB5
396Please respect copyright.PENANA7ze0N8Lxsk
她說英傑人在醫院治療,但現在不適合去找他,他也不太能通電話。我不懂嫌犯的審判流程,所以不知道她說的真實度有多少。396Please respect copyright.PENANAChCjnT2mRP
396Please respect copyright.PENANAjVHbgXYyqW
我又碰了釘子,心裡更著急。只好繼續留言,釋出最大的善意,表示我是真的擔心及關心。396Please respect copyright.PENANAcSSxfs8W7C
396Please respect copyright.PENANAENKzLN5CZG
她沒有再回我。396Please respect copyright.PENANAeAGfS8AuNc
396Please respect copyright.PENANAryrRwgkf8Z
396Please respect copyright.PENANA2g2C9QSQzX
但我接到英傑打來的電話,在兩個禮拜後。396Please respect copyright.PENANAhhAlK3G9lG
396Please respect copyright.PENANAHis7iRFZm3
396Please respect copyright.PENANAe6XE0mYi8r
「喂。」陌生的號碼,我心不在焉地接起。396Please respect copyright.PENANAh3MUB7sWCv
396Please respect copyright.PENANAT4dW1FA9G0
「……喂,笨蛋妹啊…」396Please respect copyright.PENANAZgynY92ZOj
396Please respect copyright.PENANA38mdMzP43X
聽見他的聲音,淚水就瞬間湧上眼眶。396Please respect copyright.PENANA3XpUaSqln4
396Please respect copyright.PENANAwrDGl0yt5n
「是我啦,妳哥啊。」沒聽見我回話,他急著說。396Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5xXjAoSuV
396Please respect copyright.PENANAIpFPBnUrso
「你才笨啦!」我明明有一堆話要說,居然只能先回嘴。396Please respect copyright.PENANAYSREVAjaNn
396Please respect copyright.PENANA2L3pVxSDMN
396Please respect copyright.PENANAeZCxs4hyaa
396Please respect copyright.PENANA6ghG5x0dvi
待續。
ns 172.70.178.113da2