Lily and Jason went to a restaurant in Denver that sold the best ramen. It was costly. One bowl was seventeen dollars. Lily stared up at the board in amazement and was confused as to where in the world Jason was getting all that money from. It was perfect, though. There was a perfect amount of salt, the noodles were fully cooked to the point of softness, and the tofu was just the right texture, smooth and squishy. She guessed he took her there because he was rewarding her as a parent would do to a child.
Lily actually ate this time. She was starving. She didn't stare at her food like she usually did. She finished everything.
While she was eating, she glanced up and caught Jason looking at her a couple of times. He had a soft smile on his face, and he rested his chin in his hand. Why was he so happy? His smile made the ache in her chest fade since she felt she had finally done something right.
Jason knew his attempt to help Lily was too harsh, and he didn't mean to make her so scared. He just needed her to stop being so passive because he couldn't watch her be so cruel to herself. He tried many ways to teach her that, but it seems that none of them worked. He finally just got so exhausted and snapped.
He was smiling because he knew she was trying to help herself, and he was happy that she knew that eating was one of the ways to do it. He also knew that she was still depressed, and he didn't expect her to solve that herself, that is one thing that she needed help with, and that is one of the things that he would help her with. He felt a hollow feeling in his chest as he stared at her sad face, but he continued smiling anyway.
When she finished her food, she looked up at Jason, who was still grinning, "You seem awfully happy." She noticed.
He moved his hand away from his chin and placed four of his fingers on a loose napkin on the table. She stared at him as he pushed it toward her, making no sound, let go, then placed his chin back on his hand.
Heat rose to her face as she blushed and looked at the napkin, realizing that he indicated that she had something on her face. She picked up the soft, smooth napkin, trying her absolute hardest not to apologize, and raised it off the table. She glided the smoothness on her face wiping off anything stuck on there. Luckily, she never wore makeup other than eyeliner, so she didn't wipe off any of that.
She set the napkin back on the table and looked back up at Jason, he was grinning softly, and he reached his hand out and placed it on top of hers.
"I'm glad you're really trying hard to do this." He tilted his head, his smile angled to the right. He really was happy. He was so pleased that she was willing to help herself that he wanted to give her everything. She stared at his smirk, confused as to why he changed so fast. She never knew he could be that scary Jason that she thought would injure her so severely that she would never recover. Note to self, She thought, Don't make Jason angry.
He chuckled, "That is true." He squeezed her hand in compassion and left her feeling lost, "But please know that I wasn't angry at you. I was mad because of your actions. I was mad because I can't deal with you hurting yourself."
She blinked in confusion, "You were angry?"
His smile faded, and his eyes hardened. Lily drew back, terror turning her blood cold.
"But not at me." She added quickly, "Just at my actions."
"Yes!" He grinned, his eyes turning as soft as butter, "Now you get it!" She looked into his forest green eyes, where different shades of color appeared. So many were there that she didn't know if he was actually happy, angry, depressed, or fearful.
He was smiling, so maybe he was happy. He could've also been severely angry and couldn't see it. Lily probably would be better off assuming he was happy. If she asked him, she could possibly be murdered by his glare.
She glanced out the window where many people crossed the streets and walked on the sidewalk. They talked to their friends and smiled in joy as they disappeared down the alley. She also saw girls holding hands with girls, boys with boys, and girls with boys. Is this what ordinary people's lives were? She looked down at her lap and stared at her hands. Were her hands normal? What if her father made her commit murder once her demon powers activated?
This is why she wanted to be passive. She didn't want to change her personality and become a cold-blooded murderer. She was afraid that Lucifer would somehow convince her that people were bad and didn't deserve to live. What if she killed them? What if he killed them in front of her and forced her to watch until she submitted? What if he murdered Jason or tortured him until she went completely insane? What if... She went insane and killed the only friends she had?
"Hey," Jason said. She looked up at him as his deep tone threw her out of her head and slammed her into the real world. "Get out of that head of yours, don't lose yourself in there." He held out his hand on the table, "Give me your hand." He said calmly.
She looked at his hand. Her stomach ached as she felt dread bleed into her chest. She held out her hand, reached out to his, then paused. She felt the heat of his hand under her's, but this time, it didn't comfort her.
He moved his fingers, indicating to put her hand on his, "Come on." His tone sounded impatient.
She stared down at her hand, her eyes glazed over with fear. What would happen if she lost herself? She sucked in a breath. What if... I... Killed Jason...?
"Lily," Jason inched forward, "This is just your fear talking. You don't have an evil bone in your body."
He watched as she stared down in horror, and she became unaware of who she really was and what she was capable of. Jason reached out to grab her hand when she quickly pulled hers back and stood up, almost throwing her chair at a waitress. He stared at her, eyes widened, taken off guard by her sudden movement, she was afraid, and she was going to run. He couldn't let her. She would get lost in this unsafe town.
The waitress looked at her with an eyebrow raised. Jason rose from his seat, "Lily," he warned.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am," Lily said quickly. She rushed to the door, threw it open, and ran out of the restaurant.
Jason ran after her and stopped at the door panting angrily, "Damn it!" He yelled, "How come I'm always too late?" This time he was furious with himself. If he helped her sooner, then she wouldn't be out in the middle of that stupid town, in the middle of the cold, almost at night!
The waitress tapped Jason on the shoulder. He looked at her, he shook from anger, his eyes turned black, rage was consuming his entire body, his blood was boiling. "Yes, I'll pay!" He growled. He pulled out his wallet, gripping it so hard that the leather started tearing.
"No," The waitress said. "I know where she's going."
Jason stopped fiddling with his wallet and looked at her. His eyes faded back to normal, "You do?"
She nodded. Her sandy blonde hair fell on her face.
Focusing on her features, Jason saw her eyes glow a very dim yellow. His lungs clenched, his breath caught, his eyes grew in size as surprise took over, leaving the anger to fade away. "You're a goddess." He whispered.
49Please respect copyright.PENANAu46oQcyOdx