日子還是這樣在過，學校裡的夥伴不時耳提面命「大考將近，獎學金不能拱手讓人」的事，我知道他是逼著我轉移注意力，也就順著他的意，認真上班、認真上課、認真睡覺，好像我換了個叫「課本」的男友，天天與它相伴，沒見著它的時間，都在夢鄉。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxZx0S0bpN
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFbUHj7VU0
但，無論怎麼讓自己逃開，總有那幾個瞬間，會被回憶淹沒，尤其是，酸楚的回憶。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdK8rxmgmGc
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eScgS9Wow
我把自己關在家幾個禮拜，直到被朋友挖出門。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EtohlgKrp
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZ8ErxblKe
坐上朋友的車，也不是很在乎要去哪裡，明明身邊有人，但全世界好像剩下自己。
也許這些，都是失去愛情的症狀。
可笑的是我連自己是否曾經「擁有」愛情都不確定。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvYnYEf6A7
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjebYoH0xw3
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYfT1Cv9pj
朋友載我到熟悉的山上，我以為他是要去山頂的土地公廟拜拜。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaJ1ukV990
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡro87UvtZvw
「妳最近不是很愛爬山嗎？帶妳來山上走走啊。」571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKuyLCkapE
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTcOzDcvit
「……喔…」
我心裡一沉。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KJD7LVEvT
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTd9zJGV97I
他不知道我為什麼開始爬山，我又怎麼能怪他呢？571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboLha0YEbN
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMp8kK3Jvex
我們延著樓梯，爬到了山頂的土地公廟，便隨意照找了個地方坐下，那是山頂的展望區。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwWFfgLHWO
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYg8bNAU90
「那是什麼山啊？」
我指著橫過城市、遠處一座被雲海包圍的山。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1NVMhHy09
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AKYEF7JPW
「我哪知道。」571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPvh4rgBW7
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvd7bTcUFe
「……說的也是。」571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzWxojIhb9
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZL2sEZSZdi
我才發現自己的愚蠢。
那是我和張先生一同爬山時，我很常說的話。
他總是像個「山的萬事通」，有問必答，即使在我看來那些山都長得一個模樣，他仍能數家珍般地，念出它們的名。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZr5uQXZLtz
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nZirFHWYf
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwePp081hl
黑兔子找我去唱歌，在包廂裡和另一個女生朋友故意想弄哭我，不停點悲傷的歌來唱，一開始我只是笑，笑她們無聊。
直到某首歌的歌詞刺進我的心裡，痛了那麼一下，我哭了，就停不下來。
兩個女生見我掉淚，居然也跟著哭了，還哭得比我悽慘。最後我還得幫她們擦眼淚。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZP8cdnMh0D
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZL7Y0qdbe
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7gkEnt9YT
我很努力要自己不去怨懟、不去記恨，但總對自己被欺騙一事糾結，同時也怪自己不夠聰明、不夠謹慎。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDmsaUi1HY
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshA7P1GsCP
無法灑脫。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvFRt2BHc7
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAC3sDiQfQ1
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeVXwNmrHV
我還是持續的爬山，但不明白自己是因為什麼而爬。
我害怕自己是為了不忘記他，所以更不敢面對這個問題。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4B5BSmIMix
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXr3urM8MO
直到某次，母親找我一同去爬山。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5akSE7YCr
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sF24miQVd
那是一座有著神話故事點綴的郊山，山上的涼亭裡還用木板刻著傳說。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbQ1uJ1FWq
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNUw45Pvmi
「這是我和妳爸爸第一次約會的地方。」571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUydqMRMsXU
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwN07upurCM
母親突然提起父親，自他們離異後，母親甚少和我聊父親的事。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfsvRUXliq
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjO8aj9vPbq
「我喜歡運動，妳爸爸不愛。我喜歡在舞池跳舞，他只想坐在沙發聊天。妳爸爸體能好，明明是蛙人，運動神經好，私底下卻懶惰得要命。」571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kXhmuXk4w
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3kQVHDLyt
「但這是我們第一次約會的地方。」571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiq72GuFqg6
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqsR8aHlnt
我不知道母親為什麼突然說這些。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwu0bX8QcaI
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhetfcnYZiK
「妳和那個來過家裡的先生，應該沒有再聯絡了吧？」571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ39X98VRp8
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbjOiTnITR
「沒有了。」我立刻回答。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FIVYZq1wF
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBbaS2VLg3
「妳一開始喜歡上爬山，是因為他嗎？」571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdDiXzvwpR
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdi3vylsOEi
「嗯。」571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndXjCIlAAY
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HxDMcIubd
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMZDD0DwuT
「那他留給妳的影響，就夠了。」571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQ2zbHUbFE
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTz2CrhTKv
我還不明白。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0abnpqBfm4
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMz4UA5Pcp
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZTAIgmUQA
「妳本來就喜歡小動物、小昆蟲，剛剛一路上來妳都在跟我介紹那些蜘蛛蝸牛，山區就是讓妳更親近牠們的地方，妳這段路爬上來有想到那個男人嗎？」571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrY0Wpop4z6
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Y3scgS9qL
「……沒有。」571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqF86tOBp2
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKy7rek1alf
「那妳還介意是誰啟發妳喜歡爬山嗎？」571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4Cz1olUK3
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhikq6zylW
我盯著她，努力消化她的話語。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fOj9UCrkg
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw82g877Igy
「不管事情是怎麼開始的，只要最後有好的地方值得妳保留就好了。」571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xJp8uJNQy
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjGkf6Xq77p
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEL5zfbaM1U
「妳沒必要忘記。」571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltunY3p8pj
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fPIoCwEP9
我的眼淚差一點就奪眶而出。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡykDDrymQRN
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUuKtTa3m9
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19dJvFLOg6
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0L6UEiuxHL
後來。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGvYehu3rt
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozje4D5jaK
學期順利結束，我依然拿到系上的獎學金。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEcohD4IB9
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0FFIYmLfl
真正了解我的家人朋友，都沒有怪我隱瞞他們，我以為會面對很多責怪，卻意外收到過多的心疼。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVZFSlJnuv
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ581vnXSXml
我去爬了更多的山，也因為山結交了更多新朋友，也間接因為爬山認識了現在的男朋友。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQIqIGtmfk
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb69NHyJ5Gj
在之後我曾和幾個好友在居酒屋裡，酒酣耳熱之際說完了整個故事，朋友們聽到我查證的過程，開玩笑的說「妳怎麼不去徵信社上班啊！」571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMT6VT9cCf
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVlSUq7m7y
而我真的在因緣際會下踏入了徵信業。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPWbamLiy5
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3Wox7je0j
看到了更多更多事例，才知道感情的故事，真的都是一個套路，所以我們總覺得「這首歌在寫我」，「這個故事在說我」…因為我們的感情路，好好壞壞，都差不多會是那個樣子。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0Oyhd0hkN
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMWNoNIVxQ
我沒有繼續怨恨他，但也沒有原諒他，我只是原諒自己。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHc60aeKKT
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bnaCIIWcO
在寫這篇之前，我偷偷地搜尋了他的名字，發現他們有了個可愛的女兒。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpC2MMddmQ
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZIkSp2pUM
「希望你專心愛她們。」我發自內心的想。571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDPFsnRnI5
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfui8zHWad
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQeFJDLGVx
571Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnNQsivZnX
完。
ns216.73.216.10da2
