尋死的念頭一出現，我就被自己給嚇到了。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnb84hOVI3
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQ6qMxJHYv
「妳瘋了嗎？」533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDo2G4tpGYJ
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaMUxZIwPP
腦裡出現兩個我，理性的那個正在發飆，狠狠咒罵另一個我。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4izyJmX78r
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygKcAI8lKL
而被罵的那個我，只是一個勁兒地哭。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3yR1Mz8MD
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvg6Imoviip
我覺得自己隨時都會爆炸、衝動行事，便躲進被窩，用厚厚的被子蓋住全身，連頭都包在棉被裡，不讓任何光線進來。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1C5c0vy3mK
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllAxcatPmt
在充滿二氧化碳的被窩裡，我全身是汗，滿臉淚水。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdfMN0UyU5
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtbqrVgjU7
我側身把臉埋進枕頭，把尖叫送進布料與棉花裡。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVolOJZvpzT
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pUEZeN9Dw
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzh4DuMW4oR
我往自己的腳下看，有一片草原。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOz2ymixWLK
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmk4AR6Mrmt
面前有一條石頭道路，盡頭是顆大樹。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUrBdYQ6g9
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQql4uB7Gvc
樹下站著一個人，太遠了，我看不清他的臉。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4n6pQlpYl1
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjk9bUiXmGl
所以我走近，愈走愈近，直到我看清楚他是誰。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZ7Lf6f0ky
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6wuuc7rA1
站在樹下的人是英傑。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOntBdSyTq
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIerqV3HE8
我跑向他，勾住他的手。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsslgCEXJXw
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBd8eyy4NIs
他對我笑著，什麼話也沒說。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HwwleYXOx
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQrvOV55dK
我像是要把這些日子以來，所有發生的事情都告訴他，開始滔滔不絕地講。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSiHp9k0t6
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgd14oKa7AC
他陪著我走到我原本站的地方，就停下來。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hUMELoKY1
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUHx7623gL
我還在講，他轉頭看我，伸出手揉了我的頭，就像他每次做的那樣。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5OBxVqLgU
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyeggLYwiL
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmKWGAy4gF
我張開眼睛，才知道自己夢見英傑了。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXU9KMCtp53
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJxdbIqL1z
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yfWY3uJdK
我開始懷疑起自己做這個夢的原因。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlda2rtG2Q
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJy6q3sR5TM
是太想念英傑了，還是壓力太大需要出口？533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3S4jIWPViv
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmst041lfrm
或是…他真的怎麼了，才到我夢裡來？533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPN8qd4nNfV
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbeqfqEjsU
我心裡很害怕是後者，但我知道此時的自己無法找到真正的解答。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKElHOsW9I6
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZAL0zeOAT
這個夢緩解了我的情緒，也瞬間恢復了大部分的理智。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cfGn3l6gD
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswE6wIKeD9
不管是什麼原因，都是英傑救了我。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYASIHx4Nr
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8C1FDuCuYK
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdTCoFTfiE
我度過了心中的那個坎，日子雖然沒有改變，但我的心態改變了。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoi2niEVVE
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRzm6Bjo5I
「沒錯，都是我選的。所以，我要更努力才行。」533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiUC9wY2mn
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4OxnJ37hy
雖然，從那個時候開始，過了很長一段借貸的日子。人都說救急不救窮，但我很幸運，擁有很多好朋友，如果我開口，他們總是不說二話的就拿錢給我；就算我死愛面子不開口，他們也會一直逼問是不是沒錢用。我拿著跟朋友借來的錢，繳家裡的房租、水電費、瓦斯費…然後在假日另外打零工還錢。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMrsq3BiuR
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNfIQttASe
高中的最後一個學期，我也差點因為沒能繳出學費而休學（當時已有就學貸款，但沒有考慮，只想著沒錢就去賺錢，別念書好了），但我那班不知該說是兄弟還是恩人的同學，硬是把一疊鈔票交到我手裡，要我慢慢還，要我和他們一起畢業。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42x2KpF7XC
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllvZ8PbyCB
我沒參加考試，畢業後直接去找了工作。我還清了錢，卻欠了好多人情債。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAoZHc76kd
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CG0pEl7hF
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUuRDU1bZ1
生活條件穩定之後，也談了戀愛，生活圈的人換了幾輪，越來越趨於穩定。
只是在我心底仍有一個空蕩的角落。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8Fcpttt8L
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsEeEeZeko
我還是沒有更換手機號碼，一直抱著小小的希望，533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkRfO1jp6a
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyg8xf7lmB
可我已在心裡默默地接受「英傑可能已經過世了」的事實。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZz0svaYpn7
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvd7fiK9ma3
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcb71vcf1Tj
某天，我的皮夾不知在哪兒掉了，找也找不到。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEt5J613XjZ
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Hxo6DjwOr
我辦了卡片掛失，心裡希望有人撿到皮夾，會願意送還給我。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJM5JgM1kAn
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8bTarLgQX
這時，我才想起皮夾裡有英傑的照片，也想起我們說好要另外拍照留存的事。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbe3SmLqkc
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQp5X9y6cp
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZUdZS2kac
我的皮夾沒回來，英傑唯一的照片也這麼沒了。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5pQVXVbdw
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJ8KKrHCGY
有時候，我會懷疑自己已經忘記他的長相，便努力回想那段日子，但畫面只是越來越模糊。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0WVslJK2J
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgjLdlHwmU
一年、兩年、三年，當我漸漸淡忘這段過去的時候，我卻看見他了。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeLwV2y37A
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3E8wM4oVev
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtesAE1rat5
在電視裡面。533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopFpASo2SF
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQ3ck1lCUe
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6bOLuaGlLr
533Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHI6mjemaB
待續。
ns216.73.216.10da2
