I waited couple days for Friday to visit my therapist after work, I now achieved some goals. I own a library coffee shop, I am saving money to expand my business. It's a classic coffee shop and on the side walls you can find hundreds of books waiting for the right minds to read them. I wanted this place to be familiar to me, I made it as comfy as the Italian restaurant back in my hometown, once you get in you can smell the fresh baked cookies and bread, also black coffee beans jars laying on each table surrounded by couple candles melting into their cups. The lights were yellow and orange and next to each desk a white light table lamp for readers. Colourful mugs hanging on the walls next to pictures of great authors, it is similar to what I have imagined I love it, and I am proud of it, I named it Coffee With Elle, not that creative but everyone adored it.
After what happened to me I have never thought I would reach anything let alone a life goal, I have never thought I would love someone much less getting married. Still I gave birth to Dennis and that changed my life, the moment I held my child for the first time the most beautiful baby boy, my husband by my side holding my hand and crying as the baby and I cried. I chose to be a better mother than mine. I chose to raise my son instead of killing him before even seeing the light of the outside world, or giving him to other people to raise him while his real mother left him because she got raped by his father. I know that one day he will know that I don't want him to, sooner or later he will find out everything, he is so clever just like Leroy when he was his age and Leroy understood everything before even telling him why mother kicked me out of the house and why my father was so angry with me yet Leroy took my hand and decided to leave with me. Most of all I did things for my future self to be proud of, I have always thought ahead of me and for once I begged for it to work and luckily it did without excluding the fact that I got help from the people still supporting me till nowadays.
Friday had me waiting for it, because I wanted to talk for the first time without fearing anything, but it was there I woke up and brushed my teeth and hair, I wore a casual black dress matching with my hair, Leroy took Dennis to his school on his way, father went to work, so I took Lillian to a Primrose school near the therapist. I don't know why but the feeling I had when I entered the building was the same just like the first time I did, my palms sweat and I was nervous again. A bit earlier than my appointment as always, till I heard my name and this time no voices in my head for the whole day, I was inside the office Maureen came and greeted me, during the time that we sat on the couch she asked me to breath and start narrating as if I was talking to myself and no one was there. She helped me without even giving me any advice yet, the fact that I am talking was a big relief.
I opened my lips and spoke " I know for sure we left it at a point where I was leaving for school after meeting Tobias one morning. That day was a usual day at school, but not with Mabel. I tried to avoid talking to her about the problem and she did the same. I chiefly don't run from my dilemmas but I have never been into such trouble, hopeless and lost with a baby in my belly and I couldn't tell anyone, so I made my decision after school I lied to Mabel to go to the club. She didn't buy it yet she understood that I needed to be alone. I called Tobias right after I went out of school, faster than I thought he picked up "Hello!" I murmured "Hi, it's Elleona, are you free I could use a friend." He chuckled and agreed immediately, texting me a location near the cultural place, I went there all awkward and anxious to see him sitting in the park, he waved at me with a bright smile just like always. He stood just as I approached him " You want to walk or to sit?" He asked " We better sit. " I faked a smile, he nodded and I spoke again " Well, there is a lot to say and I just can't talk to anyone. " And here you are talking to someone. I closed my eyes so the voice could fade away, he looked at me deeply and quaked " I am conscious that we don't know each other, names don't count but I am worried about you, and I know you don't want anyone to be worried about you, still I want to tell you something first, something only family knows and I want to share it with you so you won't feel alone, okay?" I approved his question with a nod, he gasped " 4 years ago, I was about your age. My sister Olivia was working as a waitress to pay for her dancing classes and she studied psychology in University of Oregon. Olivia was 5 years older than me. She understood me before even talking. On May 20th she came home looking like a homeless person, clothes ripped and dirty. She didn't talk till my mother went back from work, I asked her multiple times she wouldn't tell me, but once she saw mom and got in a room alone with her, they both started crying and screaming, dumb me I didn't get it. Later on, her tummy started showing and she bailed on her dancing classes and the university and never went to work anymore, she stayed that way till she gave birth to Evelyn. A month later I found a note right outside her room's door she wrote how sorry she is and that she can't take it anymore and the paper was spotted with water drops or so I thought first, I knocked on her door couple times I went in to find her in a pool of her own blood wrists ripped out and her eyes were open, Evelyn in her bed about to wake up from my loud knocks, I was too slow and too stupid but I understood everything and I read the rest of her note, I stopped feeling my hands and feet, the tears on my eyes blocked the view and I couldn't read anymore, I called mom I lied to her so she won't get into an accident from driving, I took Evelyn in my arms and went out of the house waiting for my mom. It was the hardest moment in my whole life seeing my sister that way and my mom about to do the same to herself from the pain of losing her child. I hid the note and I looked for that man who did this to us everywhere, several days later I found him. He was the owner of the restaurant where Olivia used to work. My Olivia wasn't the first nor the last, I called the cops as I was standing inside his restaurant. I had the note and a bigger evidence Evelyn. Evelyn has an older brother, his mother was a waitress at that restaurant as well and she was threatened just like my sister, everything was against him and now at this very moment he is in a prison cell for more years and years to pay for the raping and the deaths of young ladies." What I heard was so hard for my brain to collect, but my heart heard it all and understood it all.
I shared my name again in the club, and everyone was friendly but I knew I couldn't share more, my father called midtime and apologized for the fact that he couldn't pick me up, the bus stop wasn't far either I told him. Once the session ended a lady approached me "I hope you are here for a school project or to write an article, I just hope you haven't lived what we have." She begged, I bowed my head, I felt the tears dripping on my face and she hugged me "Just follow what this young man is saying, he will help you get justice and to move on, and if you need anything you can have my personal information from Tobias, you can talk to me if you are too scared to talk to others." She suggested, I nodded as she wiped the tears out of my pale face, Tobias drew near me "Are you okay?" He asked " I am so not, I don't know what to do?" I answered "I know I talked instead of you earlier today but we can talk now, everyone is leaving you can stay and talk to me." I texted my dad that I would be with Mabel and informed her so she could confirm if he called her. After everyone left, we sat in front of each other. He grabbed his bag and pulled snacks from it. " I kill my nervousness with food, here are some." He recommended as I backed off and disagreed.
I wasn't comfortable to talk in that specific moment so I said so, and he suggested we go somewhere else. I can trust this guy I whispered to myself, We drove till we reached Willamette River "Here is good?" He asked and I confirmed that it is. I removed the seat belt and I tried to face him, I started talking about that monster and described the spotless friendship we had, I said everything and every time I skipped the part where I was pregnant, when my tears filled my eyes, I could see his expressions changing and his tongues kept clicking moving his legs so much, for a second he turned all red and my eyes sank in a pool of tears, my voice breaking almost sobbing, he took my hand and he said "I am really sorry for what happened to you, I wish there is a way to change this or at least remove this bad memory from your head." I trembled "You can't change anything, and I can't forget because I am..." the words escaped my brain and I choked on my own breath, touching my belly and hoping he could understand without an explanation. "Oh fuck" He yelled hitting the steering wheel so hard it made me jump, "I wanna have an abortion, but I am under age and I guess the baby is healthy so no doctor will want to deal with this. I am lost and I am alone." I gasped "You parents don't know about this? Or this asshole? Anyone?" He asked with a voice full of concern while his face was showing it all, "That monster knows everything, my best friend and her boyfriend know too just because they were friends with him too, otherwise I wouldn't dare telling them." I mumbled and he said "I figured."
We sat in his car for 20 silent minutes listening to our breaths and the light wind pushing waves in front of us, he would turn and look at me each time I wiped my tears, and he would look down for a second before noticing the breezy current raging the waves, up again. "Where do you live?" He said starting his car, I showed the way, as he parked close to my house he stated "I will do my best to bring that monster to justice. I will call the lawyer when I get home and I want you to know that you are not alone, I will do anything for you, talk to me, call me or text me if you need anything. Hey if you need to cry I can give you my shoulder just let me know. Okay?" I whispered and he heard "Okay." I almost smiled and walked out of the car.268Please respect copyright.PENANAL8D57TmRHY