I stood alone in my dream watching as others kept passing me by. Morgan passed with Alexis and Arther. They seamed to float by hand in hand large smiles on their faces and they didn't seam to notice me. Gabe passed by in the other direction I could hear him mumbling something about the cut of the stone, and he seamed thrilled and immersed in his thoughts, also without noticing me. Mr.Parker and Samantha came by. Mr. Parker was walking and talking while Samantha was taking shorthand on his every word. They seamed lost in thought and passed by without noticing me. Mathias also passed by, and he seamed to stop for a brief moment. He looked right at, and through me, shook his head and passed through me as if I was not even there. This was slightly disturbing, and I shivered. I walked down the street where I lived and looked into the bookstore below my apartment. I saw Tina the older woman whom I rented my apartment from and the owner of the bookstore. She was smiling and talking to other people. They were happy and I seamed to walk around following them and when they were happy I felt happy and content. But if they were upset or if something seamed to loom in the darkness I would stand before them and try my damnedest to protect them. I turned and found myself sitting on a grassy hill in the park. I was watching the sky hugging my knees to my chest. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath feeling the warmth on my skin. Suddenly the warmth was gone replaced by a shadow and I opened my eyes to see...One of the Five members of the "N.O.C Standing before me. I looked at him and for some strange reason I felt inexplicably drawn to him. "Hello Octavian, what may I ask has brought you into this land of dreams?" I moved to stand and listened for his answer. "I simply wanted to speak with you and alleviate any of your concerns or answer your questions. My Dear Stephanie do you have any that I may clear up for you?" I took a deep breath and noticed his eyes never left my face like most men whom would have instantly looked at my chest or even spoken to my chest, this made me feel a bit intrigued. I tilted my head slightly to the right and let out my breath while the left corner of my lips could not help but begin to curl upward in a sort of half smile. "Yes actually I do. What would happen to those whom do not wish to accept your way or who's to say all will be able to for lack of better phrasing Hook-in to your link up, what happens to those whom for some unknown reason can not hook-in or do not wish to hook-in? Will all empathy be shared or no, because some things should be left secret." I paused and could feel my heart beat normally slow and steady pick up slightly and my pulse quicken, also I could feel warmth spread over my face as my thoughts touch briefly on my feelings for Mr. Parker and then in a blink transfer to the others of the town whom I would do just about anything to protect. "Like the way a person feels toward another. I don't ask this to cause you grief but, I just wondered, and you..." As I spoke he took a step closer and my tickle feeling grew a little stronger, he brushed his hand lightly against my cheek. My eyes drop to his feet and then slowly travel back to his something in my stomach tickles and I don't understand it. "You shouldn't have to live your life squandered away in some dark place without the gentle Caress of the wind on your face or the warm tingly feeling one would get from the kiss of the sunlight on their skin. And the rain to feel a drop of sweet rain on your face is another pleasure all together. All of which are Healthy for an individual. But to sit hooked up to that Machine for 24 hours a day seven days a week is not healthy." I could feel the sadness and concern reach my eyes and I heard it in my own voice, I couldn't help think that I shouldn't question someone whom was obviously my elder in the realm of the Awakened and besides Fillimena was supposed to be taking care of his health right, so why did this not sit right with me. Why when I thought of him tied into that machine did my heart feel heavy and my stomach feel sick? What was wrong with me? Octavian listened very intently to the tirade I had begun before he answered. "I understand your concern for others, though we do believe that as people begin to see the world change for the better, by the time the process is all done, humanity as a whole will understand that this is the best for everyone. We by no means have any desire to have to use.. such things like brute force and violence to bring others over to our way of thinking." He seamed to laugh a bit at the thought of using violence to accomplish their goal. "There will of course be some that transition easier than others, but we are working to make the process compatible for everyone. Each situation is handled on a case by case basis, and most importantly, a learning process for us. He must be very lucky to have garnered the attentions of such a beautiful, pure individual as yourself. And a fool if he doesn't reciprocate. Though, perhaps in the same token, that would also make me a bit of a fool as well... nonetheless, that's not really important. As far as privacy in thought, while disorienting at first, to be connected into the network, after a brief amount of time, one's mind simply adjusts to the background noise, therefore blocking out most, or all of what is really heard. Think of it much like when you're listening to a radio for an extended period of time, after a while, you don't even seem to hear the music anymore." He gives a sad smile and continued on. "I assure you my dear Stephanie, you are causing me no grief. It is, refreshing to speak to someone with your views on the world. To know your tragic past, and to see that it has not so completely jaded you. Perhaps, you see it as unfair. Perhaps in time, things will be more devised so that I will not have to spend my life in such a contraption. However, I do not see what I am doing as such a bad thing, simply a sacrifice. After all, what would you be willing to give up, to rid the world of violence? To protect the innocent. As well as, the kiss of the sunlight, or the gentle caress of a spring rain are lovely, yet they can remind one of how well.. lonely they are too. Not of course, that I would expect a beautiful woman like yourself, to understand what it is to be lonely." The park changes and we are now standing on the shore of a pond I pick up a pebble and toss it out watching it spin away skipping over the waters surface causing ripples and I mumble, "Oh you would be surprised" I sigh and continue on. "I do know what it is like to be alone. To be young and alone with no family no friends in a place you know no one, and to have no other options but to stay there. I know all to well how to crawl inside one's self pity and hide from the world. I did that myself for a while. But someone told me," I couldn't help the spread of the smile as I remembered old Maggy. "To have good we must have bad for without the bad what is good? To feel happy we must feel pain for without that pain would we ever know what it truly is to feel happiness? To be alone is a decision one makes not something that happens so then, Why be alone. Why not move heaven and earth to help others and in turn find out your not truly alone." I turned to look at Octavian, "As for the fool, well, I guess I am partly to blame. I haven't said a word to him either. I know he cares for someone else. I like her also and so I would never want to come between that. But as for what I would be willing to do for peace, I would be willing to work my fingers to the bone literally to find a solution that would involve no sacrifice no one living alone yet not loosing the self in the process, as for drowning out the others, what happens if someone were wanting to be intimate and yet you have a voyeur or someone was giving birth and though its not a happy time for the mother someone else were in the room what about the rights of the shy individuals, to force them to be Hooked-in as you say takes away their rights to be shy." I could feel my shoulders slump slightly as I sighed. "Have you seen or read the story of the time Machine? At the end of the world there is a Utopia however humans have forgotten many things including the ability to stand up for themselves and fight against things that would harm them. Whats to say that eventually the world would not end up exactly like that. And you stuck by your machine can not help them. Do you truly want to help others because you want to for no reward no pat on the back just because its the right thing to do but because if you didn't help them it would be like a part of you was missing? Stuck in your machine you couldn't help them." I sat down on the shore and pulled my knees up hugging them slightly. Octavian listened to me speak about being alone and knew I was speaking of the orphanage he reached over to touch my leg slightly right above my knee in a comforting manner and I couldn't help but feel a bit more calm. "Forgive me. Perhaps I was Mistaken. Perhaps you do understand that, Loneliness more so than I realized. Perhaps we are more alike than we realize. Though I am grateful to have the companions that I do, for I have at least found some measure of friendship. If it would not be so bold, perhaps I could add you to that list as well? Or at least, good acquaintances, no?" He shakes his head a little bit when I speak about being a fool and not wanting to get in the middle of the relationship between the guy of my interest and another. He sighs for a moment, "Do you not see Stephanie, that those actions right there, define you as the beautiful woman that you are? Such absolute selflessness. It is exquisite, like a fine wine, or priceless painting. You are more than worthy to have any man of your choosing peruse after you, and yet, I'm sure they all look past you, not willing to take the time to see you for who you really are. And yet, there are some of us, who could only dream that a person as giving as yourself, would notice that we are alive. Thank you truly. For noticing." I couldn't help but smile as I replied, "I see no reason not to call you a friend in fact I dont have many, mainly Morgan and Mr Parker. I left the only few friends I had when I moved here. I dont see why I cant add more to the short list." I chuckled softly and then my smile slips as I reply, "My cowardice is nothing to praise... I am not so selfless really I am just a coward." I could feel my shoulders slump slightly, "And perhaps being so alone or new to an area I notice more than others can comprehend or more than they wish to observe. Perhaps it is being such an outsider permits me ot observe things many dont or wont let themselves see. Your Filimena is the only one whom besides one of my Cabal mates has offered to teach me anything of my awakened path .. *smiles* Not only is she intelligent but from what I saw also a caring person. I look forward to learning from her. Did you know she is the first person other than Mathias who has offered to teach me anything of my awakened path. Mathias was the one to show me that I can repair the flesh, but I digress.." I shrug and give a simple smile, "I am not selfless just a coward. I am sure you have had many an interested party and never once been as big a coward as I." I can hear my own voice as I chucle softly. Octavian listened to me speak about being a coward, shaking his head a little as I spoke. "I don't see you like that. Perhaps someday, I will let you see you, the way I see you. Filimena is a very special individual. She will be able to help you much in your understanding of the supernal, and unlike your friend Mathias, she won't do so for her own gain. She will do so, because she understands the path that you are on, and she understands that there is far more to that path than just, being the on call healer." As Octavian turns his head, an action one might almost mistake for embarrassment, I am struck again with the thought that he's not an unattractive man in the least, and again he was speaking and I listened intently. "Forgive me, I digress. As far as what you would be willing to do for peace. I have researched alternatives, but unfortunately, any alternative plans that myself and my companions had devised, involved far more problems, and a much greater margin of error. In addition, they were far less... pleasant. And as far as these fears you speak of, a moment perhaps of intimacy, and a voyeur. Are these not things that happen now days, and tend to be far more intrusive. Childbirth always has people of mixed emotions, and think of how many people come in and out of the room during the activity as it is? I have never said that there wouldn't be sacrifices. But, the mind, oh the mind my dear is an amazing thing. Certainly we can accommodate for privacy. After all, if we can connect the world together, certainly, we can offer a few measures to ensure that intimate moments are kept... intimate. " He pauses then continued on "As far as the time machine. Yes, I understand the concern. But at the same time, the shared knowledge can strengthen us as a whole too. Allow us to share in the strengths of each other. And yes, I do what I do, because if I don't, I fear I'll never be complete. And of course, you must remember too, I'm not the only one." I sigh and toss another pebble and imagine it skipping across the water its ripples running into one another. "This is all just a dream anyway so I dont mind telling you that I feel I havent done much to help. I feel a part of me is missing... Its part of why I wish to be a surgon. It is why I am an EMT. I am skeptical and never fully trust things or people right away... When I moved here I vowed I would do what it takes to learn what I could and make a positive mark in this world. But.. I have to say.. I find you interesting.. easy to talk with and I am uncertain why but I dont seam to be as nervous around you as I am with most men.. Perhaps its just the fact that this is all a dream. But I think I am going to like calling you friend." Octavian listened very intently to me speak about calling him a friend, before he moved and took my hand, in a very gentlemanly manner he kissed the back of it. "Thank you, I can call that a good start." He tilted his head, and stayed focused on me as I spoke about my dream of being a surgeon, and why I am an EMT. He watched me skip the stone, before he asked, "So when you're not trying to save the world from itself, what else do you enjoy out of life Stephanie?"
I was a bit shocked he asked this question at first but I smiled and looked at him then chucked to myself thinking he never mentioned anything about me stating he was just a dream, a figure of my imagionation. I replied simply, "I enjoy to Bake, Cook and to Run, I dont believe in owning my own vehicle it only adds to the obese fog filled world we have come to know. I dont really or havent had the oppertunigty to do much else." I looked down at my hands and noticed my fingers were fidgeting with a stone. "I study a lot. The girls I used to hang out with a lot back home.. used to pull me out to the movies on every other Tuesday night or we would do movie night in. Why do you ask?" He listened to me speak of the different things I enjoyed doing and then turned his head to the pond when I asked him why. "I am simply, Curious. You intrest me, in a way few do. I like the idea of getting to know you better. Of course, forgive me if I am making you uncomfortable. I can imagine that you are not the kind of person used to someone being interested in you. You're used to giving to people, doing for others and never yourself, and never expecting others to return it. All too oftten we are faced in this world with people whom are simply out for themselves. And well... perhaps I am a bit of a fool." I could only chuckle "Then we must be two peas in a pod as I know most people are out for themselves yet I still cant help myself from Giving or trying to help." I paused a moment and he gives a smile. "What about you what do you yourself like do do what were your hobbies before... all this?" He turned his head back to me and gave me a very quizzical look when I asked him about his hobbies. 153Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNt5RkxPBkX
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