Chapter eighteen
Matt
All I can see is their hands intertwined. Her arms wrapped around Jon's dumbass, two-timing body. "Comforting" him. I already know his fucking dick is hard right now.
The disappointment scrawled all over her face whenever she looks at me.
Yes, Jon is frustrated right now cause I just told him his ex cheated on him while they were in a relationship.
But do I feel bad for him? Not really.
He betrayed me. He wants Novah and that's a fucking betrayal. He's coming between Novah and I. That's a god damned betrayal.
Once you betray me....my trust....I don't fuck with you. Time doesn't matter to me not nearly as much as it does to Novah. She's worried about how long we've known each other?
I don't care if I've known you for two fucking decades. I'll cut you off in two milliseconds.
I still care about Jon but I don't trust him. At all.
And trust and honesty is everything to me.
I know that's way fucking hypocritical coming from me but I don't really lie I.....keep things from people.
I keep secrets.
Jon is outwardly lying to me. About how he feels about Novah. I can tell. I'm very, very good at reading emotions and right now......his emotions are flowing very strongly towards my Novah.
Novah walks towards Jon's car, leaving Jon standing there a few feet away from me.
She sits in the passenger seat of his red pickup truck.
A thought crosses my mind of how fun it would be to fuck her in his truck.
So fucking fun. Maybe even him catching us in the act.
I look at her face as she's sitting in that seat with her arms folded across her chest. Tears roll down her cheek and I have the instinct to run over to that god damned truck and comfort my baby but I know she'll just tell me to leave her the fuck alone.
I'm just standing there in front of Jon. His face is very confusing for me. I can't tell what's he feeling other than stress.
Time to address the elephant in the room.
"Listen, Jon, and I will say this one more time before I do something I may regret. I know you have feelings towards Novah. I can see it....."
"No, I do not....." Jon starts his bullshit.
"Don't even try to fucking deny it. I can tell. Now, stay away from her and we won't have a problem. See, that hand holding shit you just pulled? Don't fucking try me, man. I'll seriously fuck you up,"
"You are so extreme, Matt. I care about her but not in the way you're implying."
"Don't fucking bullshit me, Jon. No guy, unless he's fucking gay is JUST friends with a woman, especially a woman as beautiful as Novah. So, don't start that shit,"
"Maybe you should stay away from her. She's been sick and depressed all morning because of YOUR actions,"
"Stay out of our relationship asshole,"
"Asshole? Says the guy who lied to her about your whole ass abortion and about that guy that you put in the hospital. You should have told her, man! She was bawling her eyes out,"
"Oh, so you were cuddling up with my girlfriend?"
"Ha ha ha. Your girlfriend? Nah, man. She told me she dumped you,"
I get a surge of anger at his words. Novah and I will never be finished.
"Just go, Jon." I control my temper. Usually, if it were anybody else I would've choked them out by now but Jon is like a brother. He's just getting on my last fucking nerve.
"And you started cutting yourself and drinking again?! Ay dios mio!"
I walk away from him towards his truck, ignoring his concerns.
I honestly don't give a shit what Jon thinks about me.
I walk up to the rolled-down window of Jon's truck and stick my head in.
My anger immediately softens at the sight of Novah crying, alone. I would never want anybody to go through that. Especially not my baby.
"Novah,"
She lifts her head and I see her puffy eyes and that cute nose, reddened.
"Go away, Matt," she pleads. Over my dead body will I have her sit here and cry.
I pull on the door handle and climb in next to her. I pull her onto my lap, she doesn't protest.
Sometimes I think I've just broken her will.
"Matt, you cheated....." she cries.
Jon gets in the driver's seat and turns the keys in the ignition.
"Get out, Matt," he says bluntly. Who the fuck does he think he's talking to?
I ignore him.
"No, I did not," I say to Novah.
"Yessssss.......you did....." she sobs.
It breaks my heart. Her tears are thing I hate most in this world and yet I'm the one that causes them every time.
"No, I did not. You know how much I love you,"
"Then what was Skylar talking about?" she asks against my chest.
I wrap my arms around her body, tighter.
"I was at a friend's house. She just gave me weed. We smoked. That's it,"
She looks up at me, her eyes filled to the brim with tears. She doesn't believe me.
Jon looks at me disappointedly.
Novah leaps out of my lap and out of the car. I can hear her sniffles and sobs from inside the god damned car.
"Novah,"
I get out of the car and try to hug her body but she keeps her arms in front of her, covering her face.
"Baby, I did not sleep with anyone. I promise. What do I have to do to prove to you that I did not cheat?"
She looks up at me, her eyes filled with sorrow and of course.....tears.
"You cheat, lie, vandalize my shit. Why? Why do you hate me?"
"I don't hate you, baby, I love you,"
"If you come near me again I'm filing a fucking restraining order, you asshole,"
She walks past me and towards the building.
I run in after her.
The anger I can deal with. The sadness.......breaks down to my core.
She just walks up the stairs and ignores me.
She walks down the hall and into her empty room.
I have no fucking clue where Skylar's whore ass is.
I close and lock the door behind us.
Novah lies on her stomach and folds the pillow around her head, sobbing into it.
I sit next to her, not knowing what to do or say.
I'm never really unsure of myself but when it comes to this relationship that I have with Novah I am very unsure and confused. Relationships are my one grey area.
"Novah, I would never cheat on you but I am beyond regretful about lying to you about my past. I love you so fucking much. You have to believe me,"
She doesn't respond only with more sobbing into her pillow.
I hear Jon yelling though the door.
"Leave her be, Matt,"
I ignore him and focus on calming Novah down.
"I thought you at least trusted that I would never cheat on you,"
I place my hand on her back.
She lifts her head out of the pillow.
"Get your fucking hand off of me. I don't know where its been,"
It hurts. She may not be able to see it but it hurts. Her not trusting me.
"I love you," I tell her, in hopes of numbing her sadness.
Her anger seems to dim a little once I say those words.
Only a little.
"Who was it? The girl whose house you were at?"
"Her name is Gina but I swear it's not even like that. She's....."
"Call her and let me speak to her," she interrupts.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes,"
I sigh and pull my phone out of my pocket.
I unlock it and go into my contacts.
I press on Gina's contact and select call.
It starts to ring. I put it on speaker and hand the phone to Novah.
After a few rings, I hear Gina's nasally voice. She's definitely high.
Novah clears her voice. "Hello. Is this Gina?" she asks while wiping her eyes. I see that determined look appear on her face.
"Yep. Matt want mo weed?" Gina asks in her accent.
"No, he does not. I have a few questions if you don't mind. I'm his...."
She stops talking but Gina cuts in. "Oh, you that doll he was talkin' all about. You pretty as hell, girl,"
She smiles a bit but quickly stops. "Thank you. Did he....sleep over there?"
She laughs heartily. "Oh, you think we fucked? Nah sis. I don't swing that way. I like me some punani,"
Her face relaxes and she exhales. "Oh,"
"But I will say I'll take a chance on you. He showed me a few pictures and damn girl....."
I growl a little at Gina hitting on Novah. I don't like it but I'm on thin ice so I keep my mouth shut.
"Thank you, Gina, for enlightening me,"
"Ayy no problem,"
She talks slowly like she always does when she's high....which is all the time.
The phone beeps and Novah hands it back to me, not making eye contact.
She looks down at the sheets. I reluctantly place my hand on her knee, hoping she won't slap the shit out of me.
"So now you know I didn't fuck my weed dealer,"
"Okay, so you didn't cheat. That doesn't take away from everything I found out last weekend."
"I know. And I am so fucking sorry,"
"You're always sorry,"
"What can I do about my past? How can I change my past? I've already said that I'm sorry. I can't change the past, Novah,"
"Yeah, well the least you could've done was let me in on it,"
"You really think I was gonna tell you all that shit?"
"I wasn't gonna shun you for it,"
"Well, you are now,"
"Yeah cause you kept it from me,"
"I'm sorry," I whisper..... 259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59Yb2k5znF
I need to hear it, though. I know this is very audacious especially with the situation I'm in but I have to hear coming off of her lips. Those delicate but also daring lips.
"Do you love me, still?" I ask a bit childishly. I need to hear it Nov.
She looks up at me, befuddled.
"I....I....."
I can't hold back any longer. I lean over and let my lips touch hers.
The way her lips respond. She still loves me.
This is all the confirmation I needed.
I pull back from the kiss and admire her. Her eyes are closed. They quickly open and for a second panic fills her eyes.
"Do you?" I ask, already knowing the answer.
"Do I what?"
I lean a little closer. "Do you love me?" I ask huskily.
I can see the pain flash through her eyes. She pities me.
"Of course I do, Matt...." she says softly.
"You do?" I really didn't expect her to say that. I expected her to chew the fuck outta me.
"Yes. I love you despite all the shit you put me through,"
I suddenly get a very......hot.....idea.
"Why don't you let me show you my appreciation?"
I see that look flash across her face. Restlessness. Curiosity. Thirst.
"How?" she chokes. Oh.....she fucking wants me. I can see it. I know what I do to her. How her body responds and reacts to my touch. 259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM34wQ9fEO5
"I can make you feel so fucking good, baby....." I purr.
Her eyes go wide and she bites her lip.259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhao9PHx8l
