Chapter thirty-seven
Matt
Fuck Ezra.
Fuck Dr. Franklin.
Fuck my parents.
And especially, FUCK Jon.
Now, I have to go get a damn psychiatric evaluation from Dr. Franklin cause someone told him about the things I have been doing lately.
I know it was Jon and I'm fucking furious.
Now, Ezra is alone with Novah, probably flirting with her. They're going to be in a room alone together and I'm not there with them.
The only reason I'm doing this dumb shit is cause I don't want my parents to find out about my recent issues.
The alcohol I've just recently started consuming again, in large amounts.
The weed I smoke on the daily.
The.....self-harming.
I want to change.
I'm trying to change, for Novah and only for Novah.
I don't give a fuck about what my parents think of me.
School, is all I owe their asses.
I'm in college for them, not for me.
The fact that Jon has to try and be some sort of anonymous tipster is annoying as fuck.
I know he thinks he's helping me but he's not.
He's annoying me.
I can deal with my shit on my fucking own.
Dr. Franklin is going to suggest I go to the AA meetings weekly.
He's going to spout B.S from his mouth about how my past is affecting my future and blah blah blah.....
Can he find my sisters' fucking murderers?!
Can anyone? Cause I've tried, believe me.
Can any of the dumb asses that judge me find my sisters' murderer and rapist?!
If not, people need to get off my ass about doing drugs and drinking vodka.
I just keep telling myself that I might have a real future with Novah if I do this.
If I stay sober and.....and fix my problems.
Maybe, one day, we could get married, in the distant future, if I get my shit together.
I just hope, Novah will still want me.
ns18.116.235.184da2
