In the mood for some rude humor? Then this is the book for you.

Jokes are from the authors' imaginations and the people Shadow interviews, so if you want your joke to show up here, join as an co-writer, or drop Shadow a line here and leave your name (so Shadow knows who to attribute the joke to).  Also includes many jokes from You're Funny, a contest Shadow created to hunt the internet for good jokes.

Hopefully, the jokes won't be too cruel, but you'll be the judge of that. Have fun, and get ready to laugh!

A simple collection of song quotes (not full songs) that I am personally fond of. Some are beautiful, some are tragic, well, that's at least what I think. Currently looking for song suggestions, so feel free to comment yours! (:

ღೋ☼Ellis☼ೋღ​

This book will be a collection of stories scenes either from my dream (day dream or nightmares) and life experience, which I hope can be adapted to short films in the future :)

Dreams are usually fragmented and have hidden meanings.

If you are interested in contributing yours or polish my scenes, just send me a join request!

P.S. Write down your dream and random thoughts...They can be quite powerful :)

I don't get it.

Who is she?

I stared at the woman sitting in front of me, in mychair. MYchair!

"Oh hey, didn't see you there." Her head lifted up from the book she was reading.

Grimms' Fairy Tales

"Who are you?" I arched my eyebrows and took my coat off in the process.

"Oh me?"

"Yes you, who do you think I'm talking to?"

"Him." She gestured to the door.

As if on cue, John walked in. I looked at him in the eye as he spoke.

"Who were you talking to Sherlock?"

"Her!" I turned around and pointed towards my chair.

There was no one there. No one. The only thing remaining on my chair was the book she was reading.

Grimms' Fairy Tales.

Basic Premise:In a parallel universe, killing someone gives you all the time the victim had left. Of course, murder is still strictly illegal, but a select few find ways to justify it, commit it, and even teach others to commit it. There are those who murder for the sole purpose of extending their own life. They are known as the Time Killers.

Features a series of shorts exploring the possibilities for Time Killers in such a world interwoven with a single theme - what does it mean for someone's time to be empty?

Inspired by Lata's contest Kill Time.

There is nothing more annoying than a lie that doesn't come true.

Claire and her crew of five spend most of their school days doing what other high school students do - make stuff up.  But when Claire gets a revolutionary and dangerous idea, the six friends are thrown into an adventure where literally anything can happen - because they gain the power to modify the laws of physics.

Series:Claire's Impossibilities(Book One - Chaotic Rooms)

Fandoms:Maximum Ride and RWBY.

Basic Premise:Angel and Maximum Ride join our favorite huntresses across Vale to battle Grimm and the mysterious Salem. A retelling of the awesome series with a touch of Max.

Inspiration:It's SlimShady2015's inspiration. Ask him :)

Basic Premise:Original songs and poems by Shadow, about anything and everything life can throw at him. A collection of 15 pieces, featuring songs from Shadow's Maximum Ridefanfiction, From Angel to A-Dawg.

Inspiration:Basically inspired by life in general. The specific inspiration for each piece will be described at the end of each issue.  Suggestions are welcome, either by comment or pm, whichever you prefer.

Marius Wolfgang the main character OC, is a former army doctor turned engineer who was part of the "Black Dragon" space expedition to assist a colonization effort on a distant planet from Terra. The expedition however was a tragic disaster and Marius was sadly the last survivor as he drifted in space he finally arrived in Zootopia

By Sheer chance he found a most peculiar grey rabbit floating down the river from where he setup his new home in this brave new world he was to inhabit. And after rescuing her from the chilly water he found she was indeed very special when she finally awoke.

Naturally where ever Judy is Nick usually tags along, and this was certainly the case. Marius gave him a bit of a cold reception but after the moment of awkwardness was past they became friendly, and became quite close.

Bogo however was not keen on the idea of his officers being detained by a alien visitor, and after further confrontations became openly hostile to him.

Basic Premise:Amery Carol has never been good at school. In fact, she's just about the bottom of her class, but she knows there is nothing she can do to escape her fate. Her city bases everything on intelligence, and if Amery stays this bad, she could very well lose everything and more. Contains eugenics.

Inspiration:Funny how friends can have great ideas but no drive to write! My friend just put this idea out and I snatched it like a butterfly in the air. And it's not bad, though some liken it to something more sinister. I do have a happy ending in mind, so suggestions are allowed, just keep them happy. Enjoy!

Basic Premise:First, before you file a harassment report for the title, know that this is a story about the funny-stupid things I've done. They're all written in a sarcastic, humorous manor, so no need to feel sorry for me. I encourage you to laugh.

Inspiration:My entries forWe all have our moments...(http://www.penana.com/story/9003/we-all-have-our-moments/issue/6) was where I got the idea for this story. When I had three stupid stories I wanted to submit, I realized: one, I did really stupid things; and two, this is a good idea for a story! So enjoy Shadow being stupid, because they're kind of funny.

Basic Premise:A random high school girl's journal. Boring. But this isn't any ordinary high school girl. She's different from most of us.  Well, she's not sci-fi or fantasy weird. You'll just have to find out. Sophomore year is not easy for everyone.

Inspiration:My friend and I were dared to write a story containing 20 rarer words in the English language.  Only 19 of them made it in, but this is what happened.

Now on Amazon!http://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XVQ9QP3

Basic Premise:Claire wakes in a white room that's a perfect cube. Completely confused, she searches the jumbled mess of rooms and finds... what no one can explain.

Series:Claire's Impossibilities

Inspiration:So, my friends and I were talking, and one of them started us on an interactive sci-fi suspense of his own creation. As we shifted through the story, I got an amazing idea - why not change it into my own story! Already a regular writer, I spent a week copying down what we did that day, and voila! Enjoy.

Premise:Claire is just chilling in her backyard on a chilly November evening, though she is supposed to be doing her biology homework.  Nothing out of the ordinary.

But the boredom doesn't last long.  Sensing the perfect opportunity for chaos, Claire's author sends her a mysterious package that only destroys her world.

Series:Claire's Impossibilities

Inspiration:Monos D.O.A's Friday Prompts, Issue 1. Also inspired by a running joke with my friends about which ones of us are soulless.

Beginnings are important. Beginnings of stories should be fun, epic, and exciting. But what happens when a story's beginning is so amazingly epic that the thought of continuing the story is daunting and hard? No problem. Publish just the beginning.

A collection of beginnings by Shadow that may or may not become more.

Fandom: Maximum Ride

Basic Premise: Is Maximum Ride really forever?

Angie IV has always longed to leave the cold, incapacitating land of whitecoats, clones, and other copies of herself. Now armed with the mission to capture the flock for Jeb's third clone, she finally has the chance.

But will she go through her mission? Or will the product of the School always find a way to escape?

Takes place after Maximum Ride Forever.

Inspiration:I've always wanted to read a Maximum Ride fanfiction about a reoccurrence of the school after Maximum Ride Forever, but there didn't seem to be too many.  I decided to write my own.

It was really kick started by the first chapter. I wrote it and I thought that would be a cool idea, and voila! Enjoy!

Book One of the Voyager Agency series by S. Topaz Wolf.

"Do you want mercy?"

Ambrose Hoverdan. A girl living her teenage years in the later 22nd century. This involves waking up, eating breakfast, chilling with her friends, and torturing the minds of any bully that rears his ugly face to her. Whether it’s scoping through their memories, twisting their feelings, or inserting a thought, there’s no one who can challenge her skills... Right?

Kathryn Janeway. The recognized leader of the Voyager Agency who can read every sliver of any mind, including Ambrose's, among other skills. Together with her friends, Kai and Jason, they’ve been fighting a battle and need an extra mind for an extra edge.

They think they have found it with Ambrose, but have high school bullies prepared her to take on other superhumans, ones who prefer to take her head over her pride or lunch money?

Buy the full book NOW on Amazon! http://www.amazon.com/dp/B07383KJDB

Fandom:Maximum Ride series by James Patterson

Basic Premise:A series of one-shots between my favorite family group in the book series - big brother Gazzy and little sister Angel. Through good times and bad, the siblings always seem to come back together even when the world is falling apart around them.

Inspiration:I was bored and I needed to write more for http://maximumridefanfiction.wikia.com, so I settled upon this.

Tori, a ballroom pianist with the voice of an angel, wakes up in the afterlife with no memory of why she's dead or how she got there. Her only clues are a two-minute clip of her last moments and a team of newly deceased heroes like no other.

This many tears in the spacetime fabric shouldn't be possible. The fact the Claire was able to have this many adventures without major problems was sheer luck.  A breach was bound to occur eventually. But what does that mean for Claire's adventures? Will she have to stop, or will the breach be an answer in of itself?

Series: Claire's Impossibilities.

A NaNoWriMo 2017 story.

David Smith and Jeremy Wells are coming home from a normal school day when they're hit by a car.  What follows next defies the normal boundaries of dreams and realities.

Sarah Wells hates nothing more than her bratty brother and his stupid friend. But when they're both stuck in comas after that fateful car crash, she begins to reconsider exactly what family means.

Co-written by Dylan Seilonen.

A NaNoWriMo 2017 story.

Poems of sadness and death. Because no one can be endlessly happy.

A poem a character? Why not? Grief, triumph, loss, and victory are all fair play.  Now who's ready for some inner-character poetry?

All collaborators will be added as idea-contributors, but will be promoted to co-writers once trust is established.

This collection is a showcase of the poetry I (and others) have written so far. You're free to like, comment and share all of this content if you like it!

Feel free to message me if you would like to collaborate and add your voice, there are plenty of spaces available!

Basic Premise:Kristen has been tormented by Spencer, a school bully with a scarier side, for years. But when Kristen prepares to rid the world of that monster, things go full circle.

Inspiration:We've all got people we hate. This one's my enemy.

Fandom:Warrior Cats

Basic Premise:When Dovewing finds herself following Sol's suggestion and ending up in the Dark Forest, only Tigerheart can save her from Brokenstar's evil schemes. But is he up the challenge. No shipping, sorry.

Inspiration:I wrote this so long ago, I don't remember the inspiration. But I wanted to have a Warriors fanfiction, so I dug this up and massively reworked it to my new standards.

A collection of stories that Shadow writes at his creative writing group. Entries are about basically anything and everything that captures Shadow's imagination.

There was only one reason Joyce didn't die the day everyone else died.

Sitting on the toasty ecru sand of a beach Joyce had never visited before, the blood-warm waves lapping at her feet, that one, subtly obvious reason came crashing down on Joyce's eyes like a spotlight spawning in pure darkness.

The single, definitive reason Joyce didn't die with the rest of her family when her world ended in a huge, flaming red firebomb, was because she had already died long before any dictator could launch nuclear bombs at her home country.

NaNoWriMo Goals:1,000 words per chapter, a chapter every two days at least, and that will only get me to 15,000 words. But this is my first NaNoWriMo, so little steps.

Fandom:Maximum Ride

What exactly happenedbefore The Angel Experiment? You'll just have to read to find out.

While her android's being repaired, Anne Heathers meets the flamboyant and charismatic Carlyle, the android assistant of the creator of lifelike androids and multibillionaire Robert Kay. It's not every day that you meet someone so important, but their meeting was anything but a coincidence.

Robert Kay is a broken man. All he wants is his wife Allison back, and he will do just about anything to find her. And he with the help of his android assistants, he might just do it.

Fandom:Maximum Rideby James Patterson

Basic Premise:Max is wandering alone in a hospital, with only a freakish Dylan without wings as company. What's going on here? Takes place after Nevermorebut before Maximum Ride: Forever.

Inspiration:This story was written out of the blue, inspired by my own feeling of being alone sometimes, and by Neal Shusterman's young adult thriller Full Tilt.

Original songs of sadness and mystery. Life is less than clear at times. A six poem collection.

Fandom: RWBY

Basic Premise: "If you never fight back, things will never get better. But things can always be better. So when are you content to stand back and enjoy your victories?" The night before the Vytal Festival, Blake has a dream that takes her back to her dark past - and reminds her the real reason she fights.

Inspiration:I made up that quote and thought that it'd be marvelous for a Blake story. It's up to you to tell me if it worked.

S. Topaz Wolf's blog on Chaotic Rooms, The Third Minddrinker, and other projects. The place for behind the scenes coverage of Claire's Impossibilitiesand Voyager Agency.

Also on Weebly.

In the beginning, two primordial beings, Lumière, a lover of creation, and Ombre, a lover of destruction, shared the world. When humans came along, they both competed for control over human destiny, spawning an eons-old battle between the better angels of our nature and the lure of greed.

Fandom:RWBY.

Basic Premise:"You can hide from your darkness, but your darkness will never hide from you." When Weiss walks down a path in the Forever Fall Forest and is greeted by Ruby and the evil Cinder Fall, Weiss is shown her own darkness in bone-shattering reality.

Inspiration:I made a contest about the quote, "You can hide from your darkness, but your darkness will never hide from you," and I wrote a sample issue. I hope you like it.

Fandom:Maximum Ride.

Basic Premise:Takes place after The Angel Experiment. This is about the bird girl Maximum Ride saved after raiding the sewers of New York. If there are any details that do not match up with The Angel Experiment, please let me know.

Inspiration:I wrote the description of the bird-girl in the story in the back of a napkin and made up a situation where I could use the strange character. This was it.

Fandom:Red vs. Blue

Basic Premise: There is no place like Blood Gulch. There really isn't. So sit back for more Blood Gulch chronicles, with all your favorite characters all in your favorite place. (I cannot promise Caboose won't be dumber than elbow grease, though.)

Anathem. The name of the power dozens of teenagers have been gifted with. Yet only five stand on the front lines, battling against the one person that wants them all dead. Haven knows it's ridiculous, but when the strangest things begin to happen to her, she realizes that maybe that boy was telling the truth.The five of them carry immense responsibility. Will they be able to protect the other teenagers, or will the Doctor's newest plan extinguish them all?

Fandom: Maximum Ride and Voyager Agency

Now that Max is dead, the new generation of bird kids is losing hope. To solve that, scientists have made new mascots to replace the Flock, and with the power to control them, too. Sad for them, the prized bird girl escapes. Guess what, she's also a Minddrinker.

Ava Memory has never left the School before. She and her friend, Ian Kane, were created in the School and had lived there all their lives. That is until Ava leaves.

Author's Note: This takes place about 200 years after Nevermore, not accounting for Maximum Ride: Forever, and somewhere between the end time skip in the Third Minddrinker.

Originally titled Ava, Short for Avian Memorial Project Female Subject Twelve. But changed for length reasons.

One thirteenth birthday. One hardworking mother. One dark twist.

A smart and dashing young girl, desperately in need of attention, meets the mysterious and secretive Professor whose realpassion doesn't really seem to be teaching or anything of the sort.

Emily has been in the mental hospital longer than she can remember. A strange dream rocks her to the core, filled with half-forgotten remnants of her past.

I was out on a mission, a mission to kill Borshvore. (Borah-a-vore) Borshvore was a man of terror. If anyone or thing got in his way, he would destory it. Now me being a 13 year old girl assassin, I had a lot to fear. But I felt nothing more then to just be brave. And why would I be scared, I also have magic on my side.

Being X realizes that Tanya will not come to faith with her rising up in the ranks in the military, so he decides to have Tanya assassinated at the end of her speech where she is reborn in another version of that world, but this time possessing no special abilities. in short, Being X cheats.

A poem about unrequited love and patience.

Fandom:HBO's Westworld

Basic premise:A short poem about season one Dolores's search for William. Inspired by the ending of season one when Dolores insists to the Man in Black that William will return to save her.

So this is me...

The worst possible version of my self. Sometimes I wonder if there are any other versions of me out there somewhere. Versions that made different choices, versions that made better choices. Maybe there's a version of me that's has it all, that's living the dream.

I guess that's my problem. I'm a dreamer. I dream big, I want it all and I want it now. That's how I live, moving from one dream to the next, moving from one score to the next. I've been chasing dreams for so long. It has led me down some dark and narrow roads. There have been so many twists and turns, I can't find my way back... I need to get back, I've got to get back.

But let's all be honest here for a moment, before you sit there on your high horse looking down on people like me, we're all dreamers. The only difference between you and and me is I'm willing to take what I want, I'm willing to get my hands dirty. There's blood on my hands, but don't you worry your pretty little head. It's not my blood.

The finer details of this dream are always changing, but the end is always the same. Me on top, me getting respected, me being feared. There's no room for attachment in this dream, that's what I keep telling myself, and it's sound advice. Feelings can get you dead in this dream.

Guess I should have taken my own advice. But I was never too good at listening.

I met girl, Suzie... and you can guess the rest. Bottom line, the dream started to change. It started to change the day she told me she was pregnant. A million thoughts rushed through my mind. Now the new dream has an overwhelming urge to protect and defend, an urge I can't deny, an urge I don't want to deny. The problem is there's too much blood on my hands, and there are people, one in particular, Big Tommy Tucker, who were looking for a soft spot, a chink in my armour. If any of them found out about Suzie...

I chase the rabbit down the hole so many times I don't know which way is up.

I decide it's time to run, it's time to put some distance between me and the old dream. So I buy a couple bus tickets to nowhere. Suzie and I. That's the new dream.

So here we are in the last act, Suzie and I, about to ride off into the sunset. How could I have been so foolish? These are not the kind of dreams you run from. These are the kind of dreams you face head on, if you want to put and end to it. Life's ironic like that.

Guess who I bump into at the bus depot? Little Tommy Tucker, Big Tom's kid and he's got 5 goons with him. I'm not scared. I know how to handle myself in a pinch. Then I turn to Suzie and see the chink in armour. It looks like my ride into the sunset will have to wait. I put Suzie on the bus and ask her if she trusts me. She drops her head to my chest and nods. I can feel her gentle sobs as I take her by the hand and lead her to her seat, I watch as she places one hand on her swollen belly as she walks down the isle. An image that will forever be etched into my mind. I hear the bus pull off as I pop a toothpick into my mouth and casually make my way over to Tommy and his goons.

Little Tommy nods at me and says, "It's too noisy here to talk. Why don't we find somewhere a bit more private?" I give him a nod, and he leads the way to an office at the back.

So here I am with little Tommy Tucker and his 5 goons, stuck in this little room. Little Tommy smiles at me looking like the cat that's swallowed the canary. He looks like he's about to say something, but before he gets a word out I tear into one of his goons. Filled with such rage, a red veil falls over my eyes, and his body suddenly goes limp in my hands. I see the rest fumbling for their guns as little Tommy starts to backtrack. I use this lifeless goon as a shield as I get closer to the next goon. My heart is racing, my hands are trembling with rage. I black out for a few seconds as the rage takes over...

I come to, breathing heavy, my chest seeming to have a mind of its own as it rises and falls. I look down and see that I'm standing over one of the goons lifeless body. I look back and see the bloody mess behind me. I turn around and see little Tommy Tucker cowering in a corner fumbling with a little pea shooter. I make my way towards him and he manages to get off a shot. Fortunately, he misses, and I reach down and grab him with both hands around his neck and lift him up. He starts to beg, but when he sees that's not working, he resorts to threats.

"I saw your girl," he says.  "I know which bus she got on. My dad's gonna find her." I loosen my grip on him and let him fall to the floor. He was right. Big Tommy was as mean as he was smart. It would only be a matter of time before he found Suzie. Little Tommy, thinking he had the best of me, now started to shoot off his mouth again, this time describing what he was going to do to Suzie when he found her.

The red veil fell over my eyes again. If only little Tommy  had kept his mouth shut. I black out again for a few seconds. When I come too little Tommy's lifeless body is lying at my feet. More blood on my hands, and this time I was going to have to pay back.

My mind drifts back to Suzie, this overwhelming urge to protect her leads me to one final conclusion.

I head over to Big Tommy's with a rather large duffle bag. The guy at the door tries to stop me, but I make short work of him. I force my way in, and I'm greeted by group of broad shouldered slabs of meat seated around a table. I throw the duffel bag down and ask for Big Tommy. One of the goons gets up, while the rest remain seated. I deal with him rather quickly, but it's too late. The rest of the goons get the jump on me. They knock me out cold.

I wake up in a cold room tied to chair with Big Tommy seated across the room from me, with the duffel bag between us. He sits there with his eyes fixed on the bag, as he rubs his chin nervously I see his eyes full of tears as he asks me, "What's in the bag?"

He knows what's in the bag, he just can't bring himself to admit it. "Why don't you open the bag and take a look for yourself?" I ask.

Big Tommy nervously reaches out for the zipper, but can't bring himself to open the bag. He bursts into tears, crying out loud. "NOT MY BOY, NOT MY SWEET BOY!"  In a fit of rage, he lurches at me. Using only his mits, he starts to pummel me, screaming, "WHY? WHY? WHY? TELL ME WHY?"

Squinting out of my one good eye, I look him square in the eye. "You can kill the dreamer, but you can't kill the dream," I say.

Big Tommy had no idea what I was talking about. "WHAT THE HELL ARE TALKING ABOUT?" he screams "WHY DID YOU HURT MY BOY?"

Right there and then the dream changed again. It was no longer me and Suzie. It was the baby, and then it dawned on me as Big Tommy continued his assault. Maybe I was right. Maybe there is another version of me out there. Maybe this baby is it, this is my second chance, a chance to do things right, a chance to make the right decisions. A brand new version of me. Suzie would be a good mother. She would raise him right.

Big Tommy continued to pummel me. I could literaly feel the life slipping out of my body. In his mind I was just some punk out to make a name for myself. There would never be any need for him to go digging around. He had his vengeance. Suzie and the baby were safe.