It's something she said, Aria. It hit me. I care for him, I want to protect him, I have to have this chat with him now.
He stands outside against the wall, I look at him for a second and he's watching me back.52Please respect copyright.PENANATvu5euNhEN
"Matthew" I begin softly.
"Please don't, besides there is nothing that you can change here. Telling me not to feel anything won't work" he says defensively.
"Listen to me" I tell him.
He smiles and I smile back.
"You should be happy Matthew, not like this." I say.
"You are happiness for me. You are what I want. I am happy just being around you" he says.
"Yes I know that but what I'm saying is" I begin softly.
"Remember Taylor" he cuts in.
"You don't want to remember how you felt, but it's important that you do. So remember how it felt to lay in bed everyday with my arms around you, remember us talking every single day and sitting by the fire. Remember how it felt to be carrying our child" he says lightly touching my waist. I am crying.
"I'm supposed to forget all of that, but I live where it all happened. Where I used to kiss you all night long, have my arms around you like this" he says smiling.
"Matthew" I protest.
"Please I am begging you to remember. Let me back in. Just briefly" he says softly looking into my eyes.
He kisses my neck lightly. I stay rigidly still, I'm supposed to be warning him away, not pulling him further in. I put my thinking head back on. Lightly disentangle myself from him and take a step back.
"I don't want to hurt you, anymore. I can't give you the hope that you want. Because honestly what we had was so so perfect and wonderful. But it's not fair for me to even say that to you because it would be giving you the idea that we're getting back together" I say.
"I don't care about fair, honestly." He says closing the distance between us again.52Please respect copyright.PENANA4J84cfrtie
"Okay I loved you, I love you still that's all I care about" he strokes my face.52Please respect copyright.PENANAAx5Q4vmeU6
"Please say something" he smiles.
"I loved you of course I did. So much, and I haven't just forgotten about it." I begin.
He interrupts me by kissing my lips really softly and tenderly.
"Do you remember now" he smiles and kisses me again. I should stop him but he feels like Matty, and I remember us together. I smile at him briefly and then look down at his arms around me.
"Of course I do, and I loved you so much but now I am with Jay. It's not fair for me to tell you anything otherwise" I say.
"I don't care about fair" he smiles looking at me like he used too.
I step back hearing footsteps and the door opening. Two seconds later Ross and Jay are joining us. It's strange because this always used to be the case before when Matty and I were the couple and they used to be joining us.
I clear my throat and smile up at Jay.
"we thought Matty had abducted you" Ross laughs.
"No we were just talking stuff out." I say and then start to return to the door. Matty runs his hands through his hair. I'm not dealing with them all right now. My first calling is the prosecco in the other room.
I'm pouring my drink as Jay catches up with me in the kitchen. His arms moving around my waist and I'm just so glad he doesn't instantly ask me what's wrong. I settle into his arms and drink.
After a while he softly laughs in my ear. I'm swaying my hips and he is loving it.
"That's very distracting" he sighs.
Everybody is playing some card game. Matty is playing next to Ross. Rach has lost interest and is knocking back shots.
"You wanna take a time out" I laugh.
"In my room" I ask him.
He smiles and follows me out discreetly. We walk towards my door laughing, his hands on my hips.
Once we're inside I lay down and he strips in front of me, holding his manhood in his hands. He climbs on top of me. He doesn't delay, he's inside of me and I'm moaning his name. He even flips me over and takes me from behind.
"You're mine Taylor" he says thrusting into me.
"I love you Jay" I say.
He pulls all the way out of me and turns me back over. I thrust into him meeting his hips and he sighs.52Please respect copyright.PENANA1uQZa0rxz6
"Im going to come" he tells me and I orgasm around him.
We lay hugging and I have to tell him. It will ruin the moment but I feel awful. Matty kissed me but I should have stopped him.
"Jay I love you" I tell him.
"Me too babe" he replies.
"We just talked outside, myself and Matty. I wanted to warn him away from me because of what Aria said about me breaking his heart and I do not want to do that to him" I begin and Jay faces me in bed.
"He said a lot of stuff, about everything and the... the baby and he kissed me." I say just coming out with it.
"So yeah I pulled away and I told him that we're together." I say.
He stares at me for a while. Shocked.
"He did what?" He asks.
"He kissed my lips" I say.
"He kissed..." Jay says getting up. He pulls his clothes on and he's swearing.
"Jay that's not going to solve anything and I told you before if you lay into anyone and end up fighting I'm not taking you both to the hospital again." I say pulling my clothes on.
"Taylor that's not okay for him to do, to play with your emotions and bring up that stuff" he says angry.
"Jay" I say placing my hands around his jaw.52Please respect copyright.PENANAE5h0zTE08W
"I used to love him, and I should have been more. I dunno, what" I say.52Please respect copyright.PENANAeF3DgG0nuA
"But I love you, that's all that matters. Don't hit him please." I say kissing his lips.
He looks at me conflicted, and then sighs.52Please respect copyright.PENANA3w4PtpzvKV
"So he wants to play it like that" he says52Please respect copyright.PENANA3unoEIoVsF
"I'm going to be even more all over you, in front of him" he laughs.
"That's definitely okay by me" I laugh kissing him again. We're standing with our clothes half on. I need to relieve his tension so I bend down in front of him and start giving him what I hope is the most amazing blowjob. His hands are around my head moving me in and out.
"Fuck Taylor" he sighs.
I love making him lose control. I take him all the way in my mouth and feel so satisfied afterwards.
Now he's relaxed, I put my skirt back on leaving my tights off this time, quickly rinse my mouth out and he smirks. We walk down the hall back to the kitchen he's holding onto me as he always does.
"Just in time for strip poker" Nate says to Jay eyeing my bare legs.
"Oh right" I say heading to the Prosecco.
I pour Jay a drink first he's wrapped around me. I can feel his love. We go and sit down he sits next to Ross and I sit on his lap. He smiles and kisses my neck.
"I'm just gonna put it out there I'm rubbish at poker" I say
"Me too" rach laughs.
This is going to be very favourable for the guys.
Jay laughs "I'll help you out".
I glance at Matty, quickly. He's quite drunk I can tell.
"Well you've all seen me naked here" I sigh laughing and Jay shhh's me.
"Oh apart from you my bad" I say to Nate.
He laughs and winks at me.
"Okay how do we even play?" Rach laughs.
"I dunno babe just take your top off" Nate laughs drunk. He isn't bad looking. Just as I'm looking at him Justin and Tom, his friends that I met before enter the kitchen. He says hello to them and they take a seat pouring themselves a drink.
"Only if Taylor does" rach says winking at me.
"No I'm actually gonna try first to win then I'll strip" I laugh.52Please respect copyright.PENANAqjl5mgiqOt
"If you're gonna do it, do it with dignity babe" I laugh and rach laughs back.
"Fuck me what did I just walk into" Tom laughs. He smiles at me and I toast him.
"Okay fuck it let's just play 21" Nate says.52Please respect copyright.PENANAgomuWEpPcv
"For the girls" he laughs. These guys are crazy. I'm very aware of Jays arm around me making it clear that I am his.
"Sweet" rach says.
"I'll be dealer" Ross says smiling.
He deals out two cards to everybody.
"Closest to 21 wins" Jay whispers in my ear.
"you've got a Jack and a 6, that's 16. Kings and queens also worth 10" he smiles.
" hey no conferring" Nate laughs
"fuck off"Jay says playfully.
Ross asks everybody is they want to hit, pick another card to get closer to 21 or miss.
" Hit me" I say on my turn.
"fuck me" Jay laughs.
"Totally reckless" he says.
"Don't I've got a very good feeling about it" I say optimistically.
I get dealt an ace, which I can apparently use as a 1 or an 11. I decide to use it as a 1 leaving me with 17.
Everybody else says hit.
Jay has gone bust I already know as he had 15 and then received a 10 of hearts. I laugh at him and he tickles me.
"Okay, show me your cards" Ross laughs after checking his own.
"Who ever wins takes a shot the rest take off a layer." Rach says.
"It's between Matty and Tay." Rach says eyeing the cards.
" I got 17" I say drunkenly.
" 20 sorry babe" Matty says and I demand to see his cards for myself. I walk over and he's got a queen which is 10 a 9 and a 1.
"Okay it's on" I say as I pass him a shot.
I walk back over to Jay who has taken his shirt off. I remove mine in front of him and he grins eyeing my black lace bra.
"Okay round two" Ross says.
"Matty you're up first" Ross says having dealt the cards.
He checks his cards and then sighs. He's already bust, I can tell Matty is easy for me to read.
"Miss" he says and I smile at him. I have the perfect hand, a 10 and an ace which gives me 21.
Jays hand is over my breasts and bra and I sigh at his touch. I notice Justin really trying hard not to look at me and I feel slightly bad. Justin seems quite sweet, chivalrous.
"Jay?" Ross asks.
"What" he says distracted.
"Oh right" he looks at his cards pulling his eyes away from my breasts.
"Miss" he says laying his cards out and putting his hands on me.
"Tay?" Ross says looking at my face and only there.
"miss babe" I say to him.
We show our cards and Matty smiles at me noticing first.
"can I have a little shot" I ask smirking.
Everybody takes off a layer and I can't help but to look briefly at Matty remembering his chest and arms. Rach is in just her underwear and I hate to think how many more rounds we're gonna get through.
"Okay new rule. Kissing and touching is totally permissible once you're relatively naked" Ross announces reading my mind. He smiles over at me.
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